implications of refusing dialysis

[petey]

Way back in 1995, the decision to do / or not to do dialysis never entered my husband's mind.  It was a "given" that when the doctors said he needed it and it (dialysis) would prolong his life, that was all Marvin needed to hear.  He started dialysis four days later.  In the past 14 years (which came with about 75 hospitalizations, 26 surgeries, two fistulas, a couple of fistula repairs, four grafts, two Tenckhoff caths, 14 perm caths, one transplant, one transplant nephrectomy, two pacemakers, and soon his 2,000th treatment, ... you get the point) stopping dialysis has never entered Marvin's mind either.  Also, he has never missed a treatment, and he's only "signed off early" about a half a dozen times (all to get to a doctor's appointment) in all these years.

I think if Marvin had said that he never wanted to start or that he wanted to stop anywhere along the line, I would have cried and begged him to keep going (I'm kind of selfish and want him with me as long as I can have him).  But, I know that if it came right down to it, I would have honored his wishes and supported his decision.  It is his body.  It is his life.  It is his decision.

Knowing what I know now, if the shoe had been on the other foot and I had been the one to need dialysis, I'm not sure I could have done it.  I'm not strong enough.  I'm not brave enough.  I'm just glad that Marvin is.

I would say, "Talk to your mother.  Hug her.  Cry with her if that's what's needed.  Make sure she's well informed about everything on both sides of the coin.  But, in the end, let her make the decision and then support whatever decision she makes."

[RichardMEL]

Petey you're stronger than you think!! Consider all you have gone through at Marvin's side as a good indication of this. I am the biggest "wuss" ever and no I'll never stick my arm with those bloody needles... but I've also discovered that yes *I* am strong enough to deal with this. We humans can endure many things we often think we couldn't.

Besides I figured out I simply can't take the other track - I have not met all the lovely women of IHD yet, and I have plans for some of them   

Dan - I too am very glad you decided on "yes" - you're a valued member of IHD and we'd be much sadder without you!! Besides I know you really just do Dialysis so you can keep up with my quest for the aforementioned women of IHD!! 

[dwcrawford]

Well, Richard, I do have the state side advantage over you.  I'm working on it. 

Yea, I think it was the right decision for me.  There are times when I question it but very few.  Guess what?  5 weeks from now I start using the fistala.  7 weeks from now the cath comes out.  I'll feel much better then. 

[paris]

Well, Richard, I do have the state side advantage over you.  I'm working on it. 

Yea, I think it was the right decision for me.  There are times when I question it but very few.  Guess what?  5 weeks from now I start using the fistala.  7 weeks from now the cath comes out.  I'll feel much better then. 

5 months are you will be in Vegas!!  You are doing incredible, Dan!!