Hello Beachlover!
I actually just joined this site last night and had a chance to get on here today to put on my introduction and read some posts. I got to yours and read it and all the replies. The one thing I can tell you for the needle sticks, if you are afraid of them hurting they do have a numbing cream or spray that you can use. Just let your doctor know that you will be interested in that so he can order it for your because it is a prescription. I know that there are two types...there is a spray (I never used that one) and there is a cream. The cream is called EMLA cream, it is a lidocaine cream. You put it on your site about an hour to an hour and a half prior to your treatment time and cover it with plastic wrap. I have used this product about a month after starting my dialysis and was actually a little upset that nobody told me about it sooner. The cream is amazing. I don't feel any of my needle sticks.
The other thing I wanted to let you know that I have a fistula in my upper right arm (dominate arm). You will still be able to use your arm, they just tell you not to lift anything heavy. My doctors have told me not to lift anything over 20 lbs. But other than that I use it all the time. It has gotten a little weaker since my fistula but I think that is because I can't lift anything heavy, like a depleation of my muscle.
Also, with a fistula once you have your needles in it is best not to move your arm. The reason for that is the needles can come out of the fistula or poke through it causing you to infiltrate. Now, with a graft you have more freedom because it is a rubber tube which is thicker than an actual vein. I don't want to make this sound scarier but I want you to know. I am only 37 and have gotten used to it. I thought I was going to have a big problem with the needles and sitting there for so long. But to tell you the truth it is not that bad. You'll get used to it. I did and trust me I'm not the type of person to sit still for more than an hour at a time.
I hope the best for you and that your fears are overcome. Just take a deap breath...I was EXACTLY the same way when I started. Be thankful of this site because when I started I didn't have anyone to talk to or ask questions. Everybody here seems to be very helpful.
God bless!!!!!!
PS. remember to ask for the emla cream.