Neighbors sharing far more than friendship

Neighbors sharing far more than friendship

Posted: May. 9, 2009
Jim Stingl | In My Opinion

Even at age 3, Mira Raether understands what's happening. Her kidneys don't work, and she's getting a new one "in my tummy."

She knows that priceless gift is coming from her neighbor across the alley. Her mom's friend Kelly. Her friend Kelly.

Kelly Wawrzyniakowski has two small children of her own, but her mother-love stretches easily and without hesitation to this tiny girl, who was born a triplet.

Kelly quietly went in to be tested as a possible donor and was found to be a suitable match for Mira. This didn't surprise her.

"I just knew. There was no doubt in my mind that I would make it through the process. It was a weird feeling. It's not something you think you're going to do in your life," Kelly said as we all sat in the Raethers' kitchen in Milwaukee's Cooper Park neighborhood.

She's a 34-year-old dispatcher for the Menomonee Falls Police Department. Her husband, Mike, is a Milwaukee police officer. They have two sons, 4-year-old Brady and almost-2-year-old Marek.

They moved to this block nine years ago and quickly became friends with Sheryl and Jay Raether. Sheryl is a stay-at-home mom - you'll recall that I mentioned 3-year-old triplets - and Jay is a plumber.

The Raethers tried for nine years to get pregnant and went through a variety of fertility methods. Jay was squeamish about giving his wife the needed injections, so Kelly stepped up and helped Sheryl with the hormone shots.

Finally, Sheryl got pregnant. When she was ordered to remain on bed rest, Kelly would call or come over every day. She also took her friend to ultrasound appointments and snuck her out to lunch once in a while.

The triplets were born 10 weeks early in October 2005 - two boys, Vincent and Luke, and a girl who struggled with health issues before she even left the womb. When she defied doctors' warnings that she might not survive, her parents named her Mira Cale - miracle!

Vincent and Luke grew out of their preemie issues, but Mira needed heart surgery and then was found to have renal acidosis. Her kidneys were not correcting the pH balance in her blood, which affects growth, heart, hormones and other functions.

"We all hoped she would maybe grow out of it," Jay said.

At 11 months, she started on dialysis via ports in her abdomen. In the beginning, it lasted 10 hours a day. Now, it's up to 12 hours, mostly while she sleeps at night.

Her care is expensive and will remain so for years to come. With help from family, friends and strangers, the Raethers have pulled together $110,000 through everything from big fund-raisers to neighbor kids coming to the house with their piggy banks.

Mira weighs just 18 pounds, compared with her brothers who are now about 30. She won me over in one short visit, teasing me with her flashlight and letting me crawl under her green umbrella during a brief downpour last week. It's not hard to understand how Kelly would love her enough to make this sacrifice.

Mira was on a waiting list for a kidney for more than a year. The kidney she needed was right across the alley. Kelly remembers telling Sheryl over the backyard fence one day that her blood was a match.

"We both burst out in tears," Kelly said.

"All the emotions," Sheryl said.

In December, following more tests, Kelly got final word that she could be a donor. Her family came over to the Raethers' house and shared the news.

"It was quite the moment, the best Christmas present anyone could get," Sheryl said. "I can't say enough good things about Kelly."

Kelly's husband, Mike, told me some people have expressed concern.

"We had people ask, 'What if your own kids need a kidney?' People say, 'Man, I could never do that.' "

Kelly is blessed with healthy children, and there's no kidney-related disease in her extended family. She has no trepidation about what she's doing, and she knows her kidney may only get Mira into her teen years before she needs another one.

"God put us together as neighbors and friends for a reason," she said.

The surgery is scheduled for Wednesday at Children's Hospital of Wisconsin, with help from Kelly's doctors from Froedtert Hospital. In a matter of a few hours, the kidney will be removed from Kelly and given to Mira in an adjoining room. Both will spend several days in the hospital. Kelly will be off work for six weeks, and the other parents at Christ King Parish School plan to bring meals to her house.

Kelly said she had a dream that Mira instantly grew 3 inches after the transplant.

"That's my biggest hope," Kelly said, "that I get to see her be a regular little girl and grow big and tall."

Call Jim Stingl at (414) 224-2017 or e-mail at jstingl@journalsentinel.com

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/44618877.html