Why I gave my kidney to a stranger

Why I gave my kidney to a stranger

Barbara Ryder is one of the very few people to have made a live organ donation to someone she'd never met. She tells Rob Sharp how she made her decision – and describes her special friendship with the man whose life she saved

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Some people give up their time to talk to the elderly. Others pop a coin into a collector's hands during the morning rush to work. At the most, our altruism might extend to giving blood, or sponsoring a friend's attempt to run the London Marathon. But what if someone we hold dear was to undergo a potentially life-threatening operation to help another? And to cap it all, make such a profound sacrifice for someone they had never met?

We might call them crazy, or we might try to talk them out of it. We might tell them it was the greatest mistake they had ever made. All of these criticisms and more were faced by Barbara Ryder, a 60-year-old from the West Country, who ignored the protestations of her family and friends to altruistically donate a kidney in September 2007.

"When you make a decision like this – to give a vital organ to another person – it might be one of the biggest choices you will ever make," she says. "You don't want people to change your mind. And I had no end of people telling me not to do it. Your friends, family, those you work with, all have their own opinions. So many people were against it, that in the end I had to talk them around one by one. They started to respect my views. They knew I was fixed on it. Once I had focused my resolve it was just a matter of waiting."

Ryder donated her kidney at a hospital in Plymouth. Two years later, it saved the life of Andy Loudon, 69, from Lanarkshire, Scotland, who suffers from polycystic kidney disease, a hereditary affliction that almost complete destroys the function of the sufferer's kidneys.

Ryder and Loudon's story is told this month in BBC One's Lifegivers, a five-part series that aims to raise awareness of organ donation. As well as Loudon and Ryder's amazing tale, the show follows Scotland's first living liver donor – a woman who sacrificed two thirds of her liver to save her dying husband. As with the experiences of Ryder and Loudon, the ordeal was one of the most emotional periods in the protagonists' lives.

Altruistic organ donation is enjoying more publicity than ever. The story of American investor Zell Kravinsky is highlighted by The Life You Can Save: Acting Now to End World Poverty, written by Australian philosopher Peter Singera, published last week by Picador. In 2003 Kravinksy justified giving away a kidney using elementary statistics. After he judged that the chances of dying from the operation were one in 4,000, he said he believed that under the circumstances "to withhold a kidney from someone who would otherwise die means valuing one's own life at 4,000 times that of a stranger". He said he found this ratio "obscene", and ended up saving the life of a low-income African American from Philadelphia.

Between 1 April 2007 and 31 March 2008, 829 people donated a kidney in the UK. While the number of people giving kidneys has increased every year for the last three years, there are still 6,000 people on the waiting list to receive a healthy organ.

This long wait can be extremely hard. Ryder says there were three years between her decision to donate and the operation. This was because until 2004 altruistic – or "live, non-directed" – kidney donation was illegal. But once the law changed she became the second person to give away a kidney altruistically (the first person to do so did not want to go public with their story).

Ryder, a nurse, first heard about the proposed change in the law when listening to Radio 4. She contacted a friend, the renal specialist at Plymouth's Derriford Hospital, her place of work, early in 2004. "When my friend heard about my plans, she was delighted," she says. "She said, we can't do anything at the moment, but then I waited a year or so and then got a call. I was delighted. It's funny because I knew it wouldn't be a problem. I had read all the publicity surrounding the fact that there are lots of people on the waiting list."

As is standard under these circumstances, Ryder was subjected to a great many tests to make sure she was a suitable candidate for organ donation. She got fit, lost some weight and maintained a balanced, healthy diet. She says she was relieved when she was given a date for her operation. This peace of mind did not last long.

"The actual procedure was quite painful," she adds. "There are various ways that they can do it but I was left with a wound that was around an inch across. I learnt that what was much more important was having a good anaesthetist, because that will determine how much pain you experience. Ultimately, I was lucky in this area." After the operation, it was recommended that Ryder had three months off work, but she was back at work at the hospital in two. "I had a lot of blood to make up, but I was out walking the dog and shopping at Tesco the next day, really," she continues.

The change in Loudon's life was much more dramatic. "Around 20 years ago I was diagnosed with the disease," he says. "It causes huge cysts in the kidneys and can cause trouble with your liver and pancreas, too. My kidney was essentially operating at around 12 per cent of its proper capacity. A lot of my family had been affected by it and I was angry when I found out I had it too."

Loudon says he began to feel very tired around three-and-a-half years ago. He was on dialysis for two years before his operation. "Afterwards, I was on morphine for a while," he says. "But then the pain went away. Considering the size of the operation it was remarkable."

It was not long before his mind turned to Ryder. "When I had the operation I didn't know anything about the donor," he explains. "I had no information whatsoever. I didn't know if they were male or female. I just knew it was someone from the West Country. We didn't come into contact for a while yet."

The pair exchanged letters before coming face to face at Brown's Hotel in London in December 2007. The meeting was orchestrated by The Human Tissue Authority, a government-funded organisation that regulates organ donation. "She is a wonderful person, easy-going, laid- back and easy to get along with," says Loudon. "Now we are very good friends."

It was a similarly profound moment for Ryder. "We tried to keep the emotion levels down because we weren't going to meet to begin with," she says. "I was never going to know who it was. Now, I see Andy quite regularly. We go out to dinner together and are often on the telephone. It is a very good friendship. I hope what I have done encourages more people to do the same."

So the million dollar question is: would Loudon have done the same thing if he was in Ryder's position? "I think so," he answers. "Possibly because I have been through it and know what it entails. Whether I would have done it if I had not had kidney disease... it is nice not to think about it. I would definitely give my son my kidney but would I have asked him to give up his for me? Probably not. When someone does this for you there is no one word to explain it – all I can say is that it is amazing. Barbara knows how I feel. It replaced my faith in human nature."

Many people opt to wait for a kidney from an anonymous donor rather than rely on a relative. Kate Hurrell, 39, from Exeter, who is also profiled in Lifegivers, was off work with acute kidney problems from May 2008, started dialysis in July last year and is still awaiting a transplant. Even though her father could potentially donate his kidney to her, she is reluctant to go ahead with the operation because of the risks involved for him. It is the toughest of choices. Do you rely on there being someone generous enough to step up to the mark? Or live one day to the next? Thankfully, though, there are a handful of people who make this a choice rather than a foregone conclusion.

Lifegivers runs for five days from 13 April at 9.15am on BBC1

Live donation: How to give a kidney

* The first step towards donating or finding out more is to contact your local transplant centre. Details are online at uktransplant.org.uk.

* If you decide to donate, you will be reviewed as a suitable donor by a team including doctors, counsellors and social workers. These are independent of the healthcare teams who are responsible for the operation, so act purely in the donor's interest.

* Assessors make sure the donor understands the process and risks involved in their decision. Donating has no long-term effect on your health or remaining kidney and you are at no greater risk of developing kidney failure. The risk of death from donating a kidney is estimated to be one person in 3,000.

* Assessors check the donor is not under any pressure to donate and is doing so voluntarily.

* You will also undergo a physical health check. There is no maximum age for donating a kidney but you must be fit enough to undergo surgery and have no medical complications that could affect you or the recipient.

* You can withdraw your offer at any time and would be supported by the transplant team. Assessment usually takes at least three months. A recommendation is then presented to the Human Tissue Authority, which makes the final decision.

* If you are approved, your name will put on a national allocation scheme and matched to a suitable person.

* Donor and recipient remain anonymous before the transplant but can get in contact afterwards if both are willing to.

Louise Ridley

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-wellbeing/features/why-i-gave-my-kidney-to-a-stranger-1664286.html