Post Transplant Question/Concern

[mayala03]

Ok so I am relatively new on here and have made a few posts but not recently...which brings me to my question/concern. I had a transplant on November 29, 2001...living related...mother being the donor. As of the last year and a half to two years I would say I have gone into a depression of sorts. I am a junior in college and have lost the desire to go to school plain and simple...feeling like I am going through the motions and just going to school to say that I am doing something somewhat constructive. Last semester I took a medical withdrawal due to some health stuff (not dealing with the transplant but of concern to me)...I have Spina Bifida and had a shunt implanted at birth and thought I was having problems with that but after an evaluation by doctors was found that headaches were stress related. This semester I thought things would be different and to be honest they started well and now I am missing class out of sheer apathy and lack of interest or desire. I have no clue what to do anymore, I no longer can pretend its all ok. I want to finish school but at this point dont know if I should step away from it for a while or what needs to change. Anyone ever experienced something like this or can offer advice as to what I should do? Comments or messages are welcome and much appreciated. Thanks

[okarol]

It may help to get counseling. Sometimes you just need to unload on someone else. Also, if appropriate for you, antidepression meds can help - it's worth looking into. You've been through a great deal in your young life - and the stress of even what seem to be ordinary tasks can be too much. I hope you let us know how you are doing.
 

[MIbarra]

Check the side effects of the immunosuppresive medication (or any drugs for that matter) that you are taking. I believe I remember vaguely something about depression and mood swings with one of the immunosuppresives I'm on.

[TynyWonder]

If you don't want to pursue counseling..............have you talked to any friends or any family members that you are close too about how you are feeling and what your thoughts are right now?   I would suggest maybe you try that.    Are you still making good grades in school?   If not, I definitely would walk away from school for a semester or so and do something different.   Have you been on a vacation lately or just away from home for a while?   Could you go see a friend or a family member that you have not seen in a long time and maybe just spend time with them away from home?

I do know how depression feels and it really is bad.  I also know how hard it is to even reach out when you are feeling depressed because you feel so hopeless that you beat yourself down so much that you feel like no one cares (or you talk yourself into believing that) what you are going through anyway but that is just the depression talking.    Please try and think of some of the things suggested and just see how that goes.    However, like Okarol said, please do let us know how you are doing and I do hope things began to look up for you real soon!   

[Falkenbach]

Because of the time frame of your depression, it is not necessarily related to your transplant. Unless you have had a change of medications in that time?

You have a lot on your plate, in short. You have dealt with more in your life than the average person your age, so you might even be feeling a little isolated.

There could be any number of reasons, environmental and biological, that are causing you to feel this way. I agree with others here about counselling and perhaps some anti depressant medication. I NEVER stop taking anti-depressants anymore, I have accepted them as part of my life as much as my immunosuppressives are. Start by talking to your doctor who can possibly prescribe antidepressants, or else refer you to a service such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. Most of all, DON'T BE SCARED to take this step. It's a big one, but you will never look back. You will be so glad you did.

Hang in there. 

[mayala03]

Thanks everyone for the advice and input. I know one person said it may not have anything or have any connection to my transplant or meds from it because of time frame but I think it may play a factor since I have been feeling this way for a long time now (in off and on intervals) yet now it seems like its time to take a step in getting this taken care of because I dont feel I can just "mask" it anymore. I am taking one more day to think but will be going to a rehab service that is paying for my school and will let my case worker know what I am feeling and requesting counseling (I know they offer this through the service.) I am thinking its a combination of MANY different things in my life...from having spina bifida to having the transplant to dealing with post transplant stuff to other personal stuff...I think one of the biggest reasons why I put this off was because I always thought that adding more meds (antidepressants) was just adding to the already big list of meds...but now I am realizing that I need to hit this head on for now and deal with it and get things back on track in this area of my life so that school can become a priority and not seem like a burden.

[paris]

I thought taking an antidepressant was admitting I was weak and couldn't handle life.  I finally took my doctor's advice and what a difference!  I still "get down" but I can handle things better.  I take a low dose, so I still have lots of emotions and feelings and am still "me", but just a better me.  So, take any help that is offered -- counseling, antidepressants, etc.  Keep us posted.  And remember, you can always come here and talk to us.   

[Falkenbach]

Like most of you, I hate any unnecessary medications. But my antidepressants are very much a necessity, and I am quite accepting of them now. Beats being excessively depressed for extended periods of time.

[draven]

 I was also born with Spina Bifida and have a shunt.
I had my transplant last year. and was told by my nurse that either Cyclosporin or Imuran can cause depression and mood swings. but i have not been feeling depressed,
If you are getting Headaches it can be shunt related. i was experiecing headaches before i landed up on dialysis. it turned up to be high blood pressure from stress.