Child Support and Visitation

[angela515]

So in July this yr, me and my ex came to a mutual agreement about visitation and child support. As for visitations, he is supposed to have them when school is out in the summer time, and they have to be back home 14 days prior to the begining of the new school year. (He lives in Las Vegas, I live in Iowa). He also is supposed to have them every year on Christmas Break, aand every other year starting with 2007 during Spring break. We are to split the cost of transportation 50/50. So, if I get on a plane and fly to Vegas with both kids to take them to him, and the total is 600.00 for the 3 of us, 2 one-ways for them and 1 round-trip for me, then my ex would be liable for 300.00 of that. And same goes for when he brings them back or I go get them. So during the summer of this year, he had them from the middle of July when our court agreement was signed by the judge, until Aug 9th, I took the kids to him in Vegas by Greyhound (never again!!) and he paid me his half that he owed for transportation. For them to get back home, I paid for the airplane tickets all up front and he was going to pay me his half when he got paid again, his half was 200.00. He has still not paid his 200.00 as of yet. It's been 4 months now.

As for the Child Support, we came to a agreed upon amount and I didn't go for full child support like I could of, because I knew he was going through a difficult time financially, and I felt I would cut him some slack and try to make it a little easier on him and then maybe we wouldn't run into any trouble of him not paying. (Boy was I wrong..) He is supposed to pay a total of 400.00/month 200 on the 1st and 200 again on the 15th of each month EXCEPT the summer months IF the children are with him. So, he was supposed to pay 200.00 Aug 15th, he paid 100.00. He then was supposed to pay 200.00 again Sept 1st and 15th, Oct 1st and 15th, Nov 1st and 15th, and Dec 1st and soon to be Dec 15th... he has not paid one penny since the 100.00.

On Nov 9th we had a court date in Las Vegas, I was told I didn't need to attend in person so I called to find out what happened in that court session. I was told the judge gave me a default judgement in my favor since my ex didn't show up to court saying he has paid child support (which he couldn't of, because he hasn't paid, so if he showed up, he wouldn't of won anyways cuz he would of had to say he didnt pay).. so the judge ordered that my ex's social security number be put in the system so that when he gets a job again he will be granished and can't control wether he pays child support or not it will automatically be taken before he gets his check. Same goes if he gets SSDI, it will be garnished for child support, and same goes for his taxes. Currently he is not working, he got fired from his job almost a month ago now, and he is telling me his doctors say he cant work due to seziures and them needing to do more tests, so he went and applied for SSDI (according to him anyways, idunno, he lies alot.. so we shall see.), so as most of you know, SSDI takes usually up to 6 months to approve you, so I won't be getting any child support anytime soon, but I feel comfort in knowing his social is being put in for automatic wage garnishment so he can't not pay anymore.

He calls me every few days right now and keeps me posted on what he is doing, and is telling me he is living on the streets right now because he has no place to go... or he is staying at a Budget Suites for a week at a time because his uncle paid for it... either way, he sounds very unstable in his living conditions and financial conditions, and even though we have a court order saying he gets the kids during Christmas Break, I will NOT send them for a few reasons... number one being he doesn't have a stable living place, and a stable financial environment to be able to feed and support my children. The other reason being he still hasn't paid half of the transportation costs from the last visit and thats part of the visitation agreement's as well. To cover my back though I will be sending him a certified letter and email stating that we both agreed the children would stay with me this xmas due to his situation, which he has agreed, but knowing him in the future he might try to go to court and say I denied him his visitation rights and blah blah and lie.. so I need to make sure I cover every step and provide proof incase he tries to do something like that.

What would you do?

[jbeany]

I'd also make sure to send a copy of the letter to the family court judge, social worker, etc.  Make sure they know what is going on before he tells them something different.  Document everything.   And keep an updated calendar of what days you talked to him, with what he said and any info you find out. 

I think you would be wise to go for full custody.  Right now, the court order says he gets them.   Letter or not, the law is on his side as long as the court order says he gets visitation.  Having full custody doesn't mean you can't still let him have the kids for visits - it just puts you in control of when and where. As long as you are living with your parents, you have a huge advantage for offering them the best environment, regardless of your health.  It's not cutting them off from their father - it's protecting them, and their safety has to come first.

 

[Black]

I agree with jbeany -- especially, document everything in a journal and send certified copies of all letters to everyone involved.

[vandie]

You need to handle this BEFORE the kids are due to visit.   In California, if you do not obey the court orders, you will be at fault.  I'm not sure if Nevada is the same.  You need to handle this ASAP.  You should seek full physical custody, but unless he is abusive or on drugs,  I doubt that will happen.
Do the Nevada courts have family law facilitators?  Theses are court employess to help people fill out paperwork who cannot afford attorneys.
Good luck. 

[kitkatz]

I know a good hit man...

[Black]

I know a good hit man...

    When we were battling Mike's ex-wife in court many years ago I used to fantasize about that.   

It took a few years but the entire family finally figured out, despite her lies, that she was the "bad guy".  When she realized she had tipped her hand one time too many and was being ostracized by the same people she has used against us, including her own attorney -- it was wonderful    Being a good person may be it's own reward, but when you see a nasty one realize their real self has been exposed, it's hard not to enjoy the moment.

She had me barred from the courtroom so I could not be there to support Mike, but when she was informed she had to return years of alimony I heard the look on her face was priceless.  Two lessons learned, one for me -- it pays to keep good records and notes, and one for her -- when you remarry, tell everyone, especially the court, and don't continue to take the alimony.

If you are very careful, take good notes, keep good records, and keep the court informed, you can greatly increase the chances that the courts will work for you and the children.

[angela515]

Thanks everyone. I guess the main reason I haven't done anything yet as far as legally, is because I live in Iowa, not Nevada, and I don't know if I can just go to an attorney here in Iowa to get my help or not. I do know that no matter where I go to court, they have to use Nevada's laws in this case right now because NV still has jurisdiction.. however, I cannot afford to fly to NV so I don't know how to go about doing the court thing yet. I guess it couldn't hurt to just call up an IA attorney and let them know what's up and ask if they can help or not or if I need to call someone in NV... which I hope not, because I need to use Pro-Bono as I am poor, lol.

I do know if I want to go for full custody, now is the perfect time since he is not working, or able to keep a stable home... I just need a starting place.

[meadowlandsnj]

he sounds very unstable in his living conditions and financial conditions, and even though we have a court order saying he gets the kids during Christmas Break, I will NOT send them for a few reasons... number one being he doesn't have a stable living place, and a stable financial environment to be able to feed and support my children. The other reason being he still hasn't paid half of the transportation costs from the last visit and thats part of the visitation agreement's as well. To cover my back though I will be sending him a certified letter and email stating that we both agreed the children would stay with me this xmas due to his situation, which he has agreed, but knowing him in the future he might try to go to court and say I denied him his visitation rights and blah blah and lie.. so I need to make sure I cover every step and provide proof incase he tries to do something like that.

What would you do?

Sorry you're having such a rough time.  I think you're right in not wanting the kids to go to him at this particular time.  Document everything and make sure you cover yourself with written things, receipts, ect. 

Good luck
Donna