Intro - MIL just diagnosed with ESRD

[nwigirlmom]

I found this site weeks ago when I first started looking for info on kidney failure - a lot of your posts have been very informative so thankyouverymuch.   

It's far too long of a story (and potentially not that interesting) but my MIL (DH is an only child, as I am as well, & FIL died almost 5 years ago - he was diagnosed w/ bladder cancer and died 3 months later) was hospitalized w/ basically dehydration (creatinine at 7.8 at admission though) at the end of Oct.  Her creatinine started dropping very slowly during admission, and though she had a flare up of gout, she was released with her creatinine in the 3's on Halloween.

Two days later it started climbing and by 11/17 it was back up to 4.4.  Her new kidney doc thought that her thyroid medication might be screwing with it and pulled her off, scheduled her for the red blood cell making shots (forgive my lapse of memory on the name!) every two weeks and wanted to see her in a month. 

The next week she saw the cardiologist as she was diagnosed with CHF in the hospital.  They did a stress test and wanted to hospitalize her - she had atrial fibrillation and her heart rate was hovering around 120-130.  She refused to be hospitalized.  They started her on amiorodone at home and saw her in the office the following week.  No CHF was the diagnosis.  One good thing so far!   

Flash forward to 12/20 and her face is hugely swollen from the prednisone that she'd been prescribed for her gout while in the hospital.  Her lips were cracking and honestly, she looked like crap.  She hadn't really looked well released - but she'd have 1 good day and then a few bad.  We had blood work done on 12/21 and within a few hours the kidney doc's office called and wanted to admit her - her creatinine was 5.8, BUN was 85, liver enzymes were screwy, calcium was at low critical levels, yada yada yada.  She fought the admission but we somehow got her to consent.

She made the kidney doc promised she could go home on Xmas Eve - creatine hovered around 5.6 for the entire admission and no other levels improved ... they actually got a bit worse.  They scheduled a kidney biopsy - and just as my husband and I were sitting down in the waiting room with ham sandwiches, the doc walked in and said he didn't do the biopsy because the CAT scan showed the kidneys were shrunken and scarred - and the biopsy wouldn't yield any answers.  We spoke for a bit, dialysis was to be done after Xmas because he promised her she could go home and was more worried about her mental state than physical at this point.  He also said that perhaps we should start thinking about having her live with us if that was an option or look into assisted living.  (She lives home alone with her dog.)   That was a bit of a shock and we still haven't been quite able to pose that scenario to her - she's very independant and stubborn and we're a little afraid of how angry her reaction would be and the end result would be that she wouldn't consent to it anyway.

Anyhow, this intro has become a bit longer than I anticipated.  We have an appointment with the kidney doc tomorrow (Wed.) so we'll see where we go from there.  I'll be the one responsible for driving her to dialysis 3x per week, so if you guys don't mind, I'll be hanging around, asking questions and trying to make myself at home if that's okay with you!   

Hope everyone had a happy holiday!

[Bajanne]

That is more than okay with us!  Welcome to this community.  This site exists exactly for people like you (and me).  You will find many answer here - I'm sure of that, because I did.  My caring thoughts go out to you and your MIL.  It would be great for her to join this site as well.  It will give her a chance to vent, when she needs to.
Check out the FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions section for lots of help.  Do you know what kind of diaysis she will be having?
Could you please edit your profile and let us know where you are from (if that is not a problem for you).  We like to know your gender and your location.
Your intro was not too long.  Our Admin Epoman likes that kind of intro!
Looking forward to hearing much more from you.
 

[nextnoel]

Welcome to the IHD site!    It's good to have you here - I know you will find lots of good support here, and some practical answers to questions & situations you have to deal with.  Far from being too long, your intro was excellent - it's good to get a real sense of who our new friends are.

Your MIL sounds like my mom - her independence is the most important thing in the world to her, and common sense, logic, and necessity don't make a dent in her thinking if that's threatened in any way, but eventually she comes around.  That strength of character can work well for your MIL in dealing with her disease, once she comes around!

I'm sending good thoughts your way - just keep taking deep breaths!   

[nwigirlmom]

Hi again ... and thank you so much for the quick welcome!

I changed my profile a smidge - but basically, I'm a 30'ish (that's what I'll admit anyway!) mom of two daughters from Indiana. 

She'll be having in center hemodialysis.

And I'm actually at her house right now - we got her a laptop yesterday for Christmas (I'm on her desktop) and I'm waiting for the Comcast guy to come install a router so she can surf from the couch.

I'll be utterly honest, she's not doing well at all.  At all.  I walked in this morning (I come during the day, her son/my husband stops by for a few hours after work) and she's sick (nauseous, headache, horrible night) on the couch.  She looks, sounds, acts, horrible.  I posed the question on taking her to the ER or doc and she refused (of course).  She just wants to sleep.

I'm actually at a loss of what to do.  Except stay here and see if she needs anything. 

[Joe Paul]

Welcome  nwigirlmom , good to have you aboard.

[Sluff]

Welcome to IHD nwigirlmom,

Wonderful introduction, we are here for you so when YOU have time feel free to enjoy the many benefits here at IHD. Take care of your MIL first and formost. I do hope as you have already said in your introduction that you are able to help MIL in the decision process, regarding the best treatment for her. (Any kidney disease can make you look terrible because of the amount of control your kidneys have on the body, so as soon as treatment starts you will notice a great improvement as far as looks go.) Try to keep MIL motivated as best you can to seek out the answers, when you go back to the Doctor you will be armed with a wealth of information and knowledge.

Take care of yourself also, so you are able to help and support your husband and MIL.

Welcome to IHD and we all wish the best for you and your family.

-Sluff
 Moderator

[boxman55]

Welcome to IHD I hope you can convince your MIL to start treatment right away. As much of a pain in the ass it is she will notice imediate change in how she feels God Bless.

[paris]

So glad you posted. You are certainly a great DIL. I think we all relate to the nausea, headaches, can't sleep, etc. The more she will let the doctors do, the better she can start feeling. I am probably around her age(guessing from your age) and I have done everything by myself my whole life --it is really hard to let go of control and especially hard to accept that your body is failing you. My mind thinks I can do anything, my body tells me different. Acceptance is very hard. Be patient with her. It has taken me two years to let go and let my children "do" things. I am sure she really appreciates both you and your husband. 

[RichardMEL]

hi there and welcome to the site. I really feel like you.. specially when you have the conflict of wanting to respect your MIL's wishes to be independent and stay away from the docs and the hospital but really.. as sad as this sounds dialysis is what she needs to improve her quality if life right about now.

I think maybe you should pose that to her in terms of while she may be home with her dog and all it's not really a very good situation if she's on the couch all day feeling like crap (and yes, we can relate!).. that dialysis, while it totally sucks, may help her regain that life so she can spend quality time at home with her dog and doing the other things she likes to do.

Perhaps after she starts dialysis and can feel an improvement in herself it may convince her that it's OK to succumb to the docs.. as sucky as that is.

Hang in there. You sound very caring and lovely given how most people tend to feel about their MIL's

[Zach]

Welcome to the site.   

[st789]

Welcome to the site, You will find a lot of good information and advices from here.  I wish I had know this website when I was on dialysis, but it is never too late now. 

[Ohio Buckeye]

Welcome to the IHD family.
Here you will find lots of helpful info and encouragement and a listening understanding group of support people.
Best wishes to you and prayers as you go thru this diffiicult time.
 

[jedimaster]

 

[jbeany]

Welcome, and ask all the questions you want!

[mallory]

nwigirlmom, Welcome, and I hope things are going better for you and your MIL.  She really will feel better if she does what the doctors want (if you have good doctors!) and she probably feels pretty bad now.  I hope things get better!

[anja]

   nwigirlmom, glad you joined us, you'll find many here dealing with the same situations as you and your MIL.  It can't be easy, both of you being only children, but you are great to be such a caring DIL!!!  Best of luck.

[aharris2]

  hope u enjoy ur stay...lots to do onhere specially lots of reading

peace,

Rolando