Cantor donates kidney to his mom

Cantor donates kidney to his mom

By SHERI SHEFA, Staff Reporter
Thursday, 23 October 2008

TORONTO — To become a parent is to give life to another generation, but no parent ever thinks that their child will end up giving them a second lease on life.

Sima Rosen, with her son, Cantor David Rosen

David Rosen, the cantor at Beth Radom Congregation in Toronto, was given the opportunity to help save his mother’s life last year by donating one of his kidneys to her.

In 1994, his mother, Sima Rosen, a medical transcriber at Baycrest, began to suffer from kidney failure.

“In my case, they both started to deteriorate at the same time,” said Sima, now 63.

“They couldn’t really figure out what was going on. There is no history of kidney disease in my family,” her son added.

Sima was placed on a waiting list for an organ donation. She was told that the wait would be four to five years, and in the meantime, she’d have to be on peritoneal dialysis, which uses a filtration process to clean the blood inside the body.

“I was on dialysis for only a year-and-a-half. I was very lucky… I got a cadaver transplant. But the kidney started failing. It was good for about 12 years,” Sima said.

In 2006, Sima found herself back on dialysis.

“At that time, my mom was on peritoneal dialysis five times a day. She was waking up at 3 o’clock in the morning for her dialysis,” David, 31, said.

“It was very invasive on her life and she couldn’t really travel. It was very difficult.”

His mother was put back on the waiting list for a kidney, but this time, doctors forecasted an eight- or nine-year wait.

Troubled by the idea that his mother would be figuratively chained to a dialysis machine for nine years, he looked into the option of donating his kidney.

“I asked her, ‘If I was match, would you consider it?’ And she said, ‘No, you’re not going through with this. You have your life to live,’” David recalled.

In spite of her objections, he got tested to see if he was a match.

“He went behind my back. I didn’t want him to do it. I’m a Jewish mother and I didn’t want to hurt my son,” Sima said.

“I had done a lot of research on it and found out that the only restriction I would really have was that I wouldn’t be able to play contact sports, but I wasn’t really worried about my football career, because I never planned to have one,” David said.

When he told his mother that he was a match, she was hesitant, but she came around after learning about the benefits.

“The kidney lasts 50 per cent longer if it comes from a [relative rather] than a cadaver, and there is less of a chance of it being rejected,” David said.
“The chances of dying [from the operation] are less than one per cent. The only other greater risk is possibly high blood pressure later in life, but there are so many other factors that cause that, it’s hard to tell [if that is linked to the kidneys].”

He added that there was about an 85 per cent to 95 per cent chance that the donation would be a success.

“We spoke to social workers [at the hospital] and they told us we had nothing to worry about, because we’re both healthy. I just worried about his health because if he loses his other kidney, what has he got? He’d be on dialysis… But your positive attitude made me want to take it, too,” Sima said to her son during an joint interview with The CJN.

Twelve months later, in July 2007, just a year after Sima was put back on dialysis, David underwent the surgery.

“I was back at work in three weeks. It was really nothing in the grand scheme of things,” he said.

“The technology is so amazing. My surgery was laparoscopic [a minimally invasive surgery that is performed through small incisions] and my scar is only 2-1/2 inches.”

Not only did her son’s selfless donation change the quality of her life, but it also motivated her and her husband to take better care of themselves.

David said he made them sign a contract that they would look after their health.

“She’s done a great job of that. She exercises regularly… My dad also had to take of himself, and he recently lost more than 90 pounds,” David said.

He said he was inspired to share his story after reading a recent article in The CJN by Rabbi Reuven Bulka titled “Destroying Jewish myths about organ donation”(July 17, 2008).

In it, Rabbi Bulka wrote that there is a common “presumption made by many that [since] Judaism insists on burial after death, and that by donating an organ, that body part is not buried” that organ donation is prohibited.

“The premise is correct, but the conclusion is not,” Rabbi Bulka wrote.

“aving a life is a vital mitzvah that is praised and encouraged as the most noble deed that we are humanly capable of… If after death, one can save a life with a body part, that is an overriding mitzvah, pikuach nefesh, that pre-empts the other competing mitzvah obligations,” Rabbi Bulka added.

The rabbi’s views resonate with David, who feels that the mitzvot of honouring your mother and father and of pikuach nefesh override any restriction on being buried with all your organs.

“When it’s your mother, it’s like a double commandment, because it’s also kibud av v’em, honouring your mother and father. Essentially, she gave me life and if I can help prolong hers, that helped set all the fears aside.”

David said he hopes that his story will encourage others to learn more about the issue.

“Before my mom had kidney failure, I didn’t know anything about it. I didn’t know I could donate an organ while I was still living. So, it’s just to inform people and to say that you can do this and you can be tested, and you can save someone’s life or make it significantly better and not impede your life very much,” he said.

“It impacts your life in that you feel like you did something wonderful. I definitely feel a sense of accomplishment that I did this. It gives purpose in your life and makes you feel like you’ve done something worthwhile and significant, and hopefully it’ll inspire others to do it.”

For more information about his story, David can be reached at cantordavid@bethradom . com

http://www.cjnews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=15554&Itemid=86