I felt sad when I read your post Southyard but I do understand how you might feel like giving up since you're not feeling better since starting dialysis.
Tiredness, fatigue and lack of energy are part of our illness and for these to improve we have to get rid of the toxins that build up in our bodies. Dialysis is how we get rid of them since our kidneys no longer do the job of filtering them from our blood. Toxins come from the natural processes of cells breaking down in the body AND from the food we eat.
Twelve hours of dialysis is really the bare minimum and if you are ignoring the renal diet and piling on the toxins then even with the dialysis you are likely still circulating many toxins in your blood and it is all this poison that produces our symptoms, like tiredness.
You also may tire more easily because of your age and many of us who have this disease can and do become depressed, which can also make a person feel like sleeping all the time.
I think it's a fair approach to give the treatment a trial period but the diet is as important as the sessions so your trial isn't a true one. It's like test driving a car with water in the fuel and the emergency brake on. You probably wouldn't buy the thing and who could blame you?
Do you have a dietician who could help you with the food part of things? Ask your team to refer you to one. Get them to help you figure out exactly what to eat, how much and also which cheating on the diet is better and which is really harmful.
Could you also speak with a social worker about how best to plan for giving up if that is what you decide is best for you after all else fails?
There's a lot that we need to know about this malady and even that fact can be so overpowering. I wish that I could come to your house and have a chat and a half cup of decaf coffee with non-dairy creamer (that darned diet follows me everywhere I go). I'd be so interested to hear about your life.
In the meantime I send you a big hug.
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