Should I get involved

[kellyt]

Stuart waves to me and says "hi Mark", when I get there and then usually goes to sleep shortly after that. All in all I think he is doing OK...Boxman

I think that's wonderful!  Good job!  You obviously made a difference.  Maybe a small difference, but a difference nonetheless.

[boxman55]

Well it has been 3 weeks since I updated my friend Stuart's condition. He must be doing something right even though he continues to leave early. It doesn't seem to have much of an effect (in a bad way) on him. He is alert when I get there and makes an effort to say hi then he doses off and no less then an hour or so later he wants to go, and off he goes. Never says goodbye though. He's a trooper...Box

[Sluff]

Maybe Stuart is smarter than we think. 

[KT0930]

Even though he seems to be refusing treatment (to an extent), he must be following the diet and fluid restrictions if his labs are still ok. Perhaps he's still early in his ESRD and doesn't need as much time as is prescribed for him? Whatever it is, thanks for keeping us updated, Boxman.

[NVRWKN]

Sounds like he has some other issues. You gave it a shot. I would just leave it alone. I know it's hard sometimes. But some people are beyond our help.

[paris]

Boxman, you have made a difference in Stuart's life. I think of him often and am glad you keep us updated.

[boxman55]

Thanks Paris, that is very kind of you to say...Boxman

[kellyt]

I believe Stuart has been touched by an angle.    You should be very proud, Boxman.   

[CW]

Yes Boxman Kudos It was a small gesture but I think it really made a big difference.

You were caring and concerned in worrying about Stuart's well being and courageous in taking the steps to connect with him.

I feel so strongly about this subject because I know I would like to do things like this but I am afraid I will say something stupid or depress the person more or get cursed out . So I just sit quietly at my station staring at my tiny TV. But from now on I will try to bring myself to help if someone needs it from the example you have shown .

[rose1999]

Paris is right, you have made a big difference Boxman.

CW I know how you feel but maybe just hello is enough to start things off and make someone feel as if they exist - at least someone has noticed them and spoken. It's the little things inthis life, a smile, a hello that make the difference to someone who is feeling isolated.

[twirl]

you get to have a curtain?

how is that man doing or is he gone

[monrein]

I just stumbled on this thread and I wonder about Stuart too?  I was also wondering about some kind of brain damage from the stroke and how bright a person was he before the stroke even?  I've worked with developmentally delayed (politically correct term for mildly retarded) teenagers and their reactions can be very challenging.  Main thing is how kind you've been to him and that is wonderful, even if he never responds quite as we'd like.  Big hug from me to you for that.

[boxman55]

My friend Stuart is doing good. I think they have prescribed some relax pills because now when I arrive he is fast a sleep. He still wants to leave early but they got him sleeping up to 2-1/2 to 3 hours then when he wakes it is time to go. I know this because he wakes me also. He looks better and has lost his terrible cough...Boxman

[KT0930]

Glad to hear he's doing better. Thanks for keeping us posted, Box!

[willieandwinnie]

Your a wonderful guy boxman. 

[devon]

What's particularly interesting to me about this entire thread is that "Stuart" will never know how many people were involved in his dialysis and how many were concerned for his welfare and the struggle he's had with it!  Very interesting!

It reminds me of how important each of us are, even when we don't feel very important at all! Even when we think we are alone, there may be lots of people thinking of us and worrying about us.

-Devon

[Bajanne]

What's particularly interesting to me about this entire thread is that "Stuart" will never know how many people were involved in his dialysis and how many were concerned for his welfare and the struggle he's had with it!  Very interesting!

It reminds me of how important each of us are, even when we don't feel very important at all! Even when we think we are alone, there may be lots of people thinking of us and worrying about us.

-Devon

I agree.  Boxman, I really admire you for your concern for Stuart and your being there for him even through his difficult adjustment.  the news has gotten better and better.  wonderful!

[Claudia30]

Boxman - you are a GOOD man!!!! Good job for trying to help Stuart. When i was on hemo, there were two people who drove me absolutely nuts. One was a young woman - maybe in her early 40's and she would leave all the time early. Her excuse was that she wanted to spend more time with her children, however, she was always in the hospital because she missed treatments. One day our doctor actually yelled at her after her missing a lot of time on the machine. But this woman just didn't care. However the other woman was a mostly blind, totally dependent on everyone. But she YELLED at everyone - from the EMTs who picked her up to the nurses to the doctors helping her. She would scream every five minutes for something and was rude and nasty. I finally got so distraught that i had a very bad anxiety/panic attack. I went to the social worker and told her that something needed to be done as this woman was bothering everyone in the clinic. I was not the only one who complained about her. I felt sorry for her but at the same time i wanted her to stop yelling. I firmly believe you don't yell at the person with the needle in their hand. lol. I believe that the stroke that Stuart had affected him greatly and you said that people don't talk to him because of his impairment. You are doing a good job but maybe if he feels like he can listen and not talk he might feel more comfortable. I'll be honest and say that i read a ton of the posts but didn't get a chance to finish them all. Maybe suggest that he listen to a CD player. Also his brother has no right pushing him into dialysis - it sounds like Stuart is being abused on some level. Even if his brother is his guardian, he can't make Stuart go. The social worker must understand this and take action - Even if that means calling the cops on the brother. Something doesn't sound right and doesn't feel right about that relationship and what is going on. I feel bad for Stuart and will pray for him. I will also pray that you have the strength and patience to deal with this. This is a lot to deal with on top of your own issues. Good luck.

[angela515]

Poor guy... don't want to be there and is now being forced to sleep to go through it.... some people need to respect the fact that not everyone wants to do dialysis, and even the ones who do have a limit and a time when they may not want to anymore.

[JasonEb]

I guess I am the only one with a different view on this. I don't know how old this guy is, but whatever his age, he is an adult and can make up his own mind and his brother has no right to force him to go to dialysis if he doesn't wish to. I'm sorry but when it's my time to go back on dialysis and if i'm ready to go... let me go.. I won't stand for anyone forcing me to go on when I do not wish too... and that's his right. Just as people can sign a DNR, he should be able to choose not to be on dialysis and let nature take him. *shrug* I just find it cruel when we try to keep people around that do NOT want to be around anymore.

Whew, reading through this thread I was afraid I was some kind of monster for thinking like this until I saw this response.

If Stuart is in his right mind, I'm sure he understands the consequences of his actions.  He might be ready to go, but may not have the words to tell those around him.  Or feel pressured by his family to stay alive because they are not ready to let him go.  I've seen it dozens of times over the years.

~Jason E.

[Sluff]

 Boxman Now I know you have made a difference. Kudos to you for hanging in there for the benefit of someone else when others may have given up.  (like me )  (According to my previous posts)  Whatever the reason for Stuarts behavior, you made a difference and you never gave up. 

[okarol]

Hey Box, is Stuart still okay?

[boxman55]

Since I changed my dialysis time to 10 am I don't see much of Stuart. But he is still coming and leaving early. I know this because I got to see him leave when I was done which means his run time was about an hour. I said hi and he was just on a mission to get in his van. He did mumble something but I did not understand it. He looks about the same which means disheveled. I do know also that he has been sleeping when he runs and like when I sat next to him when he wakes he wants to be taken off. So... he is hanging in there...Boxman