Helloween parody "Dialysis"- to the tune of "Halloween"

[Kitsune]

"Dialysis"- To the tune of "Halloween" by Helloween 


(Music and original lyrics - Kai Hansen)

Ride is here,ride is here
Grab your bag and don't be late
Get out get out before they leave.
Hell and misery today
Meet the others for this chore,
Ring the bell till they open the door
Death or dialysis your choice,
Attention-starved patients are makin' lotsa noise

But watch out. . .beware--listen. . .take care

Chorus
In the chair at dialysis
There's something going wrong
No way to escape complications unknown
In the the chair at dialysis
Your blood pressure will rise
If you can, make transplantion your choice, if you get transplanted it will be paradise
Ah--it's dialysis
Ah--it's dialysis. . .today!

Someone's sitting in a chair
That old lady who always stares
Sitting there with half-dead eyes,
Waiting for the doctor to arise
Bad luck if you get that tech,
She makes your arm feel like heck
You don't think your fluid goal is right
The tech will say it's just a stupid lie

But watch out. . .beware--listen. . .take care

Chorus

Listen now--the receptionist is calling you. . .
And the scent of bleach and vomit in the air

Weird smells in the air. . .at dialysis
Crashing will fill you full of fright
You'll be fainting today
Hope a kidney comes very soon
Changing your way
A call on your phone
Is it real or is it a dream
On cramping legs you squirm in your chair
And you scream. . . .at dialysis

Dialysis
Where you are now
Is there anybody who cares?
Alarming has happened
You grab the buzzer
And ring the bell
I can see a tech comin'
She's comin' nearer
It's that one who doesn't wash
It fills me with fright
She's not working on me

This is your tech, she didn't wash her hands
You have no choice,
Your illness leaves you enslaved

The doctor's full of his own glory
he is the snake

His money's in abundance
but he's a very cheap man

Save me from the greedy one
Give me strength to carry on
I will fight for my life
Deliverance and peace of mind

But watch out. . .beware--listen. . .take care

Chorus

Yeah, it's dialysis
Yeah, it's dialysis. . .today.

[twirl]

too cool
my first day was on a Halloween
the tech was dressed like a vampire
stuck me 5 times
I almost did not come back

[Kitsune]

Thanks, twirl. My fiance and I were listening to Helloween and I came up with this and read it to him, and he loved it and said I should post it, so I did.

A vampire, you say? How completely apropos.