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Author Topic: Do any of you have wicked spouses/partners?  (Read 5286 times)
MooseMom
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« on: January 30, 2007, 06:17:40 PM »

My husband, God love him, has NO willpower when it comes to food.  He has the worst diet known to man.  He goes without breakfast and lunch, so he consumes all of his calories at night; he eats huge amounts of food for dinner because he is so hungry.  He eats crap.  We've been married for 3 years (our anniversary is tomorrow), and I have tried my best to cook him good, nutritious meals.  He doesn't like vegetables.  He eats kid food.  His idea of a late night snack is two big bowls of Lucky Charms.  Type 2 diabetes runs in his family, and I KNOW he will fall victim to it.  He knows this, too, but he doesn't think about it because it would mean that he has to actually control himself.

Needless to say, his stomach always bothers him.  I tell him that I'm sorry, but I can't feel sorry for him.  I will not nag him, but I will not sympathize with him, either.

This man's idea of doing something nice for me is buying me chocolate.  Each night, he offers to make me some hot chocolate or to fetch me a glass of milk served with a chocolate bar.  I don't understand this because for one thing, I like chocolate OK but am not dying for it.  I don't really have much of a sweet tooth.  Secondly, he KNOWS I am not supposed to have those things.  He KNOWS about my pre-renal diet, but because HE has no self control, he expects no one else does, either.  He thinks these "treats" are a good way of showing me that he loves me.  I know he means well, but he just ignores my food rules.  And he is a very, very smart man!  It's just that food is his comfort, his distraction, his entertainment.

I've told him not to even bother giving me these things because I will not eat them.  He does so, anyway.

On top of that, he will next to me and devour food that he knows I like but cannot have...like yogurt.  He'll plonk himself down with a big pot of Greek yogurt with half a bear of honey in it.  And then he will follow it up with a pot of sliced grapefruit (the one thing I absolutely cannot eat because of the cyclosporine I take).  Now, I don't really expect him to limit himself just because I have to, but good grief...he shows no compassion or empathy at all!!  LOL!

My husband has been extremely supportive over the past few tumultuous years.  I've often told him how much I appreciate his support.  I make sure he knows how valuable he has been to me.  But this thing with the food I find is very annoying.

Do any of you have spouses or partners who are so incredibly clueless about your diet?  Do any of them just blithely eat all of those forbidden goodies right there in your presence?








EDITED: Moved Thread to Proper Topic - Sluff, Moderator



« Last Edit: January 30, 2007, 06:26:14 PM by sluff » Logged

"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
Rerun
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« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2007, 06:25:26 PM »

I'm glad you can laugh about this.  You just stick to your diet and be an example.  Plus....don't buy that stuff.  I know this may cause turmoil, but if you buy it you can't complain.  Best of luck.  My ex-husband had those types of eating habits and then would blame me because he gained weight.  Then he would get mad because I wouldn't buy that stuff. 

Damned if you do and Damned if you don't.

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Chicken Little
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« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2007, 06:28:41 PM »

My husband is on the all cheese diet.  Cheese pizza, cheese sandwiches & cheese burgers.  He's healthy and fit with only slightly elevated cholesterol.  ???  I'm sure this will bother me more when I start feeling well enough to eat, but for now his eating just makes me nauseous.  :P
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glitter
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« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2007, 06:43:58 PM »

I am a spouse-my husbands the one on the diet-I do not buy any junkfood that he can't have with us-like ice cream and potatoe chips.But I do buy a lot of fruit and veggies. It very hard,he wants the veggies that he can't have too much of-like raw cauliflower,and  even though I tend to eat the better lower potassium ones so he can have a little,I do still eat tomatoes and banannas.I eat them when he isn't looking,i eat them when he is asleep-if he isn't home I eat toast and tomatoe-when he is home-i eat what he can have.It sucks because I keep going hungry because he can't eat anymore fruit or veggies for the day-and he always wants what I have.So he eats cookies,and I eat nothing because I can't have cookies.and i don't want him to be sad that he can't eat  the fruits and veggies he misses.
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angieskidney
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« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2007, 07:07:04 PM »

I am a spouse-my husbands the one on the diet-I do not buy any junkfood that he can't have with us-like ice cream and potatoe chips.But I do buy a lot of fruit and veggies. It very hard,he wants the veggies that he can't have too much of-like raw cauliflower,and  even though I tend to eat the better lower potassium ones so he can have a little,I do still eat tomatoes and banannas.I eat them when he isn't looking,i eat them when he is asleep-if he isn't home I eat toast and tomatoe-when he is home-i eat what he can have.It sucks because I keep going hungry because he can't eat anymore fruit or veggies for the day-and he always wants what I have.So he eats cookies,and I eat nothing because I can't have cookies.and i don't want him to be sad that he can't eat  the fruits and veggies he misses.
hmm... if he is eating cookies infront of you ... can't you have some veggies in front of him while he is eating something else? It is different when only one of you are eating and the other that is on the diet is looking on salivating.
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kitkatz
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« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2007, 07:48:23 PM »

My hubby and I are on the ends of the spectrum. I am renal diet. He is diabetic diet. God help us both!
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MooseMom
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« Reply #6 on: January 31, 2007, 08:47:33 AM »

For a while, kitkatz, my husband did try to cut back on things that diabetics shouldn't have, so that renal/diabetic diet thing was a nightmare.  I bought him the whole wheat bread, etc, and it just got really expensive. 

I don't buy junk food, but unfortunately, he will kindly offer to run to the store for me and will buy crap along with the stuff on my list.  Also, he will make a pass through Dairy Queen and come home with a Turbo Bastard Blizzard thing.  He's a grown man, and I don't feel comfortable lecturing him on what he should eat.  He knows, but he doesn't really care.

I asked him once what he would do if he had to drastically amend his diet if he were to, say, become diabetic.  He stared into space and said, "I really don't know.  I just don't know."

Believe it or not, his bp and cholesterol are normal.  But he has never been tested for diabetes.  He's afraid of what he might hear.

Interestingly, my 14 year old stepson comes to visit the usual every other weekend, and he is more "nutritionally aware" than his father.  As he gets older, his better eating habits mature, and I am hoping that he will influence my husband to eat better.

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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
glitter
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« Reply #7 on: January 31, 2007, 12:01:48 PM »

Quote
Turbo Bastard Blizzard thing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl; :rofl;   

angie I am too softhearted to eat things he can't have in front of him-he is a guy however and doesn't feel as bad as I do.....he says 'eat it',but if i do- then he will WATCH me....i just can't take it-......but I have lost 12 pounds so far.!LOL
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Jack A Adams July 2, 1957--Feb. 28, 2009
I will miss him- FOREVER

caregiver to Jack (he was on dialysis)
RCC
nephrectomy april13,2006
dialysis april 14,2006
angieskidney
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« Reply #8 on: January 31, 2007, 01:02:07 PM »

angie I am too softhearted to eat things he can't have in front of him-he is a guy however and doesn't feel as bad as I do.....he says 'eat it',but if i do- then he will WATCH me....i just can't take it-......but I have lost 12 pounds so far.!LOL
Aww  :cuddle;

lol wish I could lose weight :P

Well I guess eat it but NOT infront of him?
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nextnoel
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« Reply #9 on: February 02, 2007, 09:53:33 AM »

On top of that, he will next to me and devour food that he knows I like but cannot have...like yogurt.  He'll plonk himself down with a big pot of Greek yogurt with half a bear of honey in it. 
You're much more patient than I am - if it were me, he'd be wearing that yogurt. >:D
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