Need some guy advice lol

[karen547]

Okay so last night around 10:30, I get a text from this guy Brad who in the past  I have kind of been with. I hadn't heard from him in over a month! I told him that I had met someone and he says to me, ''well I guess there is no point in talking then, later.''  I don't understand why he said that to me, after not hearing from a guy in over a month I assume they no longer are interested in me. I HATE the games he is playing! I tried getting him to talk but no luck,  he wont return my messages. I am seriously confused, either he cares that I met someone, or he truly was just interested in one thing

[jbeany]

If he cared about you, your "someone else" wouldn't stop him from talking to you or trying to see you. 

[flip]

sounds like jealousy to me

[twirl]

and they say women play games
what did he expect you to do for a month

[donnia]

If he cared about you, your "someone else" wouldn't stop him from talking to you or trying to see you. 

Yep, yep..... don't even waiste your time or energy on this thoughtless guy.

[Stacy Without An E]

You probably already know this, but my species is full of complete and utter idiots.  The whole guy mentality of everything is about me is nauseating.  Put him out of your mind and enjoy the people you're with right now that care and appreciate you in their life.

[Romona]

Not all guys are bad. Just some. 

[Earlinda]

Bravo Stacy without an E on your post!  It is good to know that there are decent and intellectual men that are out there.

Earlinda

[Sluff]

You are probably just the next name in the little black book. It seems like some guys think they are gods gift to women. geeesh..

[keith]

he just wanted to hit dat  don't even sweat it luv

[mikey07840]

You gotta wash that man right outta your hair...

Sorry... show tunes rear their ugly heads yet again. Seriously, you deserve better. Ruth and I both agree.

Mikey

[twirl]

follow Ruth's advice           the queen is never wrong
Stacy without an E            wow   you are the man

[UNIBALLER]

Sounds like that special type of the male sub-species known as "Homo Assholus"

[Bill Peckham]

I'm not going to take Brad's side in this because we don't have a lot of information but I do want to say this: text messaging is not communication.

We see it all the time on this board that longer statements are taken the wrong way. It is very easy to misunderstand someone when you are communicating by writing. There is no substitute for face to face communication.

If this was the series of text messages:
Brad: Hi
Karen: I have met someone
Brad: "well I guess there is no point in talking then, later.''

Well then I don't think either one of you know how the other thinks or much less feels. I'm just saying if you would like Brad as a friend or more than the thing to do is sit across the a table and talk - face to face. Put the text messaging down and have a cup of coffee.

I acknowledge that he most likely wanted to in Keith's phrase hit dat but you really wont know unless you talk to the boy.

[Chris]

Sounds like he has the mentality of a teenager or a twenty something year old. Hard to say what he wanted, but it could have been both, wanted well, you know and then jealousy after you told him you met someone else. Stupidity on his part either way on his reaction. Just forget about him and delete him from your phone or put a block on your phone to not answer him if your phone has that ability (some do, some don't). There is no need to waste your time or mentallity on this guy when he reacts this way, you don't need the added stress with crap like that.

[RichardMEL]

Karen I agree with the others. I don't want to sound judgemental but I'll bet you 5 bananas (that you can't eat!! ) that this guy was at a loose end, thought "oh yeah I was with this hot karen girl I'll look her up" probably thinking to have a bit of fun (or maybe more, but given his reaction I hate to say it but it's probably unlikely). So you text him back and say Yeah that's cool but I've met someone else... and well so he clearly knows that he won't get what he perhaps was counting on and so yeah thought "oh I can't get that well.. there's no point" so gave you the no point "later" message. Sounds selfish if you ask me - and not with any kind of manners either to not even respond to your messages.

Really though whatever his motives his actions speak volumes and if it was me I'd wonder if I really needed that sort of person in my life anyway. You might have "been with" him (which I won't try to assume what that means exactly) but the way he responded to you doesn't exactly spell "caring friendship" to me.

Concentrate on your new beau and your real friends I reckon!!! and sorry you had this guy Brad respond to you that way.  neh HIS LOSS!!! If he doesn't want you as a friend (regardless of hooking up or not) then he's missing out!

[Katonsdad]

Okay ... so I like to live dangerously .......
I do not know you and I am sure you are a great person (you are on this site) But let me
play the "Brad" role for a second .

He sends you a message , You reply with : I have met someone" He says " Okay , " and does not respond anymore .

You put it out that you were with someone else !   In todays  modern tech-no world , If he had kept contacting you
he would be either harassing you or stalking you! 
I think he did the fair thing and bowed out of the picture , so as to not make a scene with you .

You put up the nono line when you said you were seeing someone else .   By texting him back  aren't you playing
I said no , but maybe  game . 

Katonsdad

[flip]

Speaking as someone who has been single for a long time....if a woman told me that she was seeing someone else, I just rode off into the sunset. Some people are not willing to let go of anything and it is a psychological disorder. I would be cautious.

[RichardMEL]

Okay ... so I like to live dangerously .......
I do not know you and I am sure you are a great person (you are on this site) But let me
play the "Brad" role for a second .

He sends you a message , You reply with : I have met someone" He says " Okay , " and does not respond anymore .

You put it out that you were with someone else !   In todays  modern tech-no world , If he had kept contacting you
he would be either harassing you or stalking you! 
I think he did the fair thing and bowed out of the picture , so as to not make a scene with you .

You put up the nono line when you said you were seeing someone else .   By texting him back  aren't you playing
I said no , but maybe  game . 

Katonsdad

Interesting point of view Katonsdad - I had not considered that side of it.

I think that there's a key thing here and it's how any communication continued after the "I've met someone" text went on. If he was pressing to get together (as in more than friends) then certainly that's harassment. However if he'd said "Well hey that's cool I just wanted to catch up, see a movie or whatever" - as a friend.. then surely that's not stalking is it?

I have a friend who I definitely would love to snuggle with.. but she's not into that, and has recently herself gotten with a guy (actually she goes through them a bit.. but that's a whole other issue lol). Anyway she knows I have a bit of a crush on her *blush* but we manage it well and stay in perfect contact... I make a bit of a joke of it really and we get on fine... indeed she just sent me an email out of the blue a couple of hours ago. We have a friendship and that works for us. I think if I just droned on at her about wanting a date or something, apart from being highly inappropriate then that would be a form of harassment.

I read from Karen's post that she was texting him back because she honestly wanted to have contact with him on a friendship basis and was disappointed that she felt "dropped" by him just because she said she was seeing someone else.

i guess the issue here is what did this Brad guy want in the first place? He texts out of the blue then seems disappointed when she's seeing someone new.. that certainly SUGGESTS he had pretty much one thing in mind... because if he was happy enough with a friendship still he would have hopefully kept in contact.

Anyway interesting things to ponder.

Either way Karen should just let it go lest HER texts be seen as some sort of harassment!! I mean he's made a decision, for whatever reason, to not respond and I guess that needs to be respected.

Personally I hate it when stuff like that happens and people react like that. I'd much rather be open and upfront and deal with it then have stuff like that happen.

How's the new guy going anyway, Karen?

[Romona]

Richard if you lived closer, I'd pick you for my sister! 

[RichardMEL]

Richard if you lived closer, I'd pick you for my sister! 

Blush!

When I get a transplant look me up again I love to travel and don't mind the US..... I remember PA specially for the time I visited Hershey.... mmmm land of chocolate *insert Homer Simpson drool*

So... about your sister...... do tell....

[Romona]

Well, Mom doesn't like her as much as me!  She has two kidneys, I have 4.  And she is almost as nice as me! Seriously she is a great gal. She was very helpful during my transplant. 

[twirl]

yes, but what does she look like
we want an IHD romance and marriage
and children
and weddings

[Romona]

Well, she has 3 grown children. She looks like me but blonde. I have nicer fingernails (got them from Mom).
Mom likes me best, that is all that matters.