A victory for You and I

This past thursday , May 1st, was a tough day for me but its outcome was worth it.

For 3 hours 2 nurses sat opposed to me and tried to convince me to conulate myself without lidocaine.
This is something i refused to do and I was not willing to negotiate. I'm creating buttonholes and I was
able to handle the 17gauge needles and not so much the 16gauge but definitely could not handle the 15 gauge needle.
The 15's shot shocks down my bicep and up towards my shoulder and that was a nurse doing it at that.

So after 3 treatments with the 15's i asked for lidocaine and it was done but for only 6 treatments after which they concluded
the buttonhole tunnel was incorrectly angled and new buttonholes needed to be created.

This is when they requested that I use my own angle. The nurse that was brought in to help me from another WELLBOUND said
that i should not have lidocaine at all anyways and that it is against WELLBOUND PROTOCOL to use because of possible scar tissue
formation around the buttonholes. So, she refused me and told me i was going to do it myself. She boasted about how she
convinced many people to do themselves.

I said i would rather go back to incenter and feel washed up then poke myself. The short authoritative Hitleresque one sat there
actually pissed........Can you believe that? she was pissed.

Again she sat and told me how many people she has convinced.

I told her that she is in a position of authority and has no right to push people into doing something they do not want to do. You are
not just persuading people to poke themselves but you are asking them to go against their will, what their mind is saying to them.
You dont know if they go home depressed or take it out on a family member. You dont see what goes on afterwards. I finished with
,"You only have the right to tell them the medical positive and negatives of a situation and be supportive of their choices."

In her clinic she does not allow lidocaine. I feel sorry for her patients. Well.......I left without doing buttonhole training that day and did
dialysis here at home on my NxStage.

I had Wellbound, my nurse and my Doctor calling me the next 2 days. I needed a break and did not pick up. Ive been grinding my teeth
and clinching my jaw for the last two weeks from stress. Its an unconscious thing i do. At the end of the night i always end up with headaches.

I did finally answer my Dr.'s phone call and she said she understands and will ORDER the clinic to use local. I will go back on Monday to start a new set
of buttonholes. Im already stressed. Just the idea of having to poke myself has me tense. Im just glad i will use local to do it.

I did eventually also speak to one of the nurses at wellbound and she did state i would have local but i told her I just dont want it for me I want it
to be optional for everyone not just for me.

Believe it or not she thanked me and said it made her job easier to be allowed to use local and that she would try and convince the head Dr. of the clinic
to allow it. She congratulated me in fighting for what i wanted.

It was a victory for you and I.