Somebody put a fork in me. I'm done!!!!

[willieandwinnie]

I think I am ready for some kind of mental home. Len went to the dentist Monday and has to have pre-med's. Well, the antibiotic has given him heartburn and indigestion so bad he hasn't wanted much to eat or drink. I woke up this morning and decided I would be nice and cut the lawn before he got up and it got hot outside. That was probably my first mistake of many I've had today. I got the weedeater going and our lunetic cat (Mouse) was sitting in the middle of the yard eying something. I went about my business and got the lawn mower out. Now this stupid, hard headed cat won't move from the spot she is in. I cut around her twice (and the dumb ass didn't move) and finally thought I'd better check and she what had her so interested (figured it was a snake). Well, it wasn't a mole this time (and I had clothes on), it was a baby bird that she was laying on. Thank God the dogs were in the house and I tried to get Mouse to get up. This silly cat has gone mad, hissed at me and I ask her if she had lost her mind. Now mind you, I have tried to be so careful since Len's transplant about feeding and watering the birds and handling moles, but I knew I had to get this bird from the claws of this Rosemary's baby cat. I snatch the cat by the back on the neck and picked her up, she still had the bird, which looked like it was about to have a heart attach. Finally, she let go and the poor bird fell to the ground and then things got really nuts, I was being attacked by a male and a female cardinal who were bombing me. I took the cat and threw her in the house and put the cover in the doggie door. I went back out to check on this baby bird while Mom and Dad sat on the fence (plotting their next move on me, I'm sure). I picked up the baby and was looking it over, it didn't look like anything was broken and there was no blood, so I started to go put it in the bush by the corner of the house that I know has the nest. Well, that was another mistake. Lord those birds starting coming after me like they thought I was lighting the grill. Honest to goodness, I am missing some hair (they are probably using it as I type to fix their nest up). Now, I have rescued a lot of baby critters in my time (even 6 baby bluejays) and never have I been attacked the way these two were going after me.

Well, I decided no more nice for me today, Len was standing at the kitchen window watching some of this and he had to laugh. Wrong, he got breakfast and then HE got to finish cutting the back yard. I told him I am not going anywhere near those two fruitcakes. He didn't seem to have any trouble. Yeah, right. Well, we got finished with the yard and I went to put the hose back after watering flowers and the two yorkies were outside with us and Winnie was sniffing around the bush. Wouldn't you know it, the parents are pushing these babies out of the nest and they are falling on the ground. (That should be considered child abuse). There is not just one, there are three of them on the ground raising hell. Len grabbed Willie and I went to bend down to get Winnie and these two same idiots that came after me earlier were coming for me again. Winnie and I made it in the house and I started a new list of things to do. CUT DOWN THAT BUSH. So much for trying to be nice, at least for today.

I just want a clam, uneventful day. Damn cat, dam birds.

[boxman55]

wow what a day crazy crazy...Boxman

[okarol]

LMAO 

Ain't springtime grand??

[thegrammalady]

you poor dear. but i really am trying not to laugh. just remember the baby birds will soon fly away and the bush will again be safe. and you're too nice a person not to try to do nice things.

[flip]

Why do you think I keep my cats in the house?

[del]

Those birds certainly didn't appreciate help!!  Hope tomorrow's a better day!!

[The Wife]

 

I know it was probably rough on you but you had me laughing.  I can just imagine this.  These animal adventures of yours make great stories. 

[alrightstill]

Oh, dear.  I was trying not to laugh too reading your story but I couldnt help it.  You calling the birds two fruitcakes was great.. something my mom would say.   

On a serious note, and this may seem trite, but that is one of my biggest fears --- BIRDS.. And oh man, if they were to attack me like that, forget it!  I wouldve had a heart attack myself!  It's something about that sound they make when they flutter their wings.. ehhh.. I get chills just thinking about it!

Anyway, good luck with them fruitcakes!!

[flip]

They may have been Blue Jays. They are the most aggressive and most protective of their young. I've seen them actually divebomb cats when they felt threatened. This is hatching time for birds and the young will soon be gone.

[Ohio Buckeye]

 

[xtrememoosetrax]

Bad day, great story. Thanks for the laugh.

[kitkatz]

I have seen blue jays dive bomb one of our cats on purpose. He would wait for them to get cocky and land too close then lunge up at them.

[monrein]

Your stories always make me think of a book we read in school called "My Family and Other Animals".  I have slightly guilty pangs like I'm laughing at your bad day but it's really your good storytelling that gets me cracking up. and stay away from the bushes today.

[thegrammalady]

keep the cat in the house today kathy. may you have sunshine and smiles all day long.   

[Hawkeye]

If your serious about cutting down the bush so you don't have to worry about being attacked again I have an alternate solution.  We had a similar problem and dealt with it for that season but we bought a couple of large fake spiders at halloween time and put them in the tree.  The birds have not come back to nest there since and neither have any others.  We enjoy the wildlife in our area and even feed the birds, squirrels and other various outdoor animals but that was a bit much to get attacked every time we would leave the house.

[willieandwinnie]

Hawkeye, are you serious? A plastic spider, hell my granddaughters birthday is near Halloween and they always decorate with spiders and stuff. I going to get one or two from my son and give it a try. Thanks.

[Hawkeye]

Yep it has worked for 2 years now and we haven't had to replace the spiders or anything.

[lola]

 

[Romona]

 

[The Wife]

When I woke up this morning and heard the birds, I couldn't help but think of you.  My mind clicked into gear and I remembered a time when the crows had built a nest in one of the trees on the street we lived on.  They were dive-bombing anyone who walked along the street.  One of my neighbours was attacked to the point that blood was oozing out of his head.  Holy moly.  That was freaky.  And so....I came up with a plan.   I decided that it would be a good idea to protect myself and that spring, whether rain or shine, I walked with an umbrella over my head.  As soon as I'd see a crow fly toward me, I'd start swinging and circling the umbrella above my head. 

Good luck!

[willieandwinnie]

Thanks a good idea The Wife. But I think I might look a bit strange cutting my lawn and swinging an umbrella. Luckily it is raining today, so I'm not planning on going outside and those crazy birds can have the backyard.   

[paris]

Ok, I admit it---I was laughing out loud! The visual was too funny.  I am sorry you were attacked by the birds---sounds just like the movie!   I hope the rest of the day was uneventful.  You deserve some peace and quiet.

[flip]

Alfred Hitchcock would have loved it.

[The Wife]

I can just imagine...pushing the mower with one hand and swinging the umbrella with another.  Who cares if you look strange.  The neighbours might be impressed with your co-ordination.  Oh, and don't forget to kick back a foot like you see the women do in the movies when they're kissed.