Frustration!

I am so frustrated I could just scream! I had a fistula put in and after doing all the exercise etc for three months they were having a hard time getting the needles in right so they decided it was too deep. So I waited three months for a surgery date, and had a graft put in. It was clotted off the next day, but I can not get into my surgeon for two and a half weeks! IN the meantime my perma cath went out. It had been working fine and then just quit. I had a new one put in. it has worked ok but not super for a couple of weeks. Today it would not work so the stupid tech(This particular tech is the worst we have at our location) put my head down and then down more and then down some more, until my head was much lower than my feet. Toward the end of the treatment I had had enough of that garbage and asked her to set me up some. She said OK, but no because she was only getting a 250 flow. At the end of my treatment she asked if I was OK and I said "No!" She gave me a dirty look. Then I noticed she had her 7 or 8 year old daughter with her. The little girl had eyes as big as saucers and just stood there and stared at me. After four hours on my head, being taken off of dialysis and cramping the last thing I need is an audience!!I wanted to yell and scream about her being in there but just kept quiet instead. (Normally I love kids, I was a teacher for 20 + years and the little ones were my favorite.)
Now I thionk the graft incision sites must be getting infected because they hurt like hell!!!!! I am eight days post surgery, and had been off pain meds for four days even at night.

Also I have been playing around with this cancer in my kidney. That surgeon felt like I should keep the kidney because it was still functioning a little and my other one wasn't functioning at all. He treated it withlazers and chemo several times. Now the uretor(the tube from bladder to the kidney is blocked with scar tissue. they put in a neph tube. A tube out my back to drain the kidney. It was causing all kinds of problems infections and skin problems around the exit sight. Then it came out. Now they don't want to put it back in because there is not any fluid build up in the kidney. The problem is that I am at a super high risk for infection and have had infections with it. Thus we decided to just go ahaed and take the thing out. I have a surgery date of april 24 and am not looking forward to that surgery at all. But in the mean time I am at high risk for infection.

My Granpa's fuineral is tomorrow. (He is 99.5 years old) It is six hours away from here. None of that side of my family live around here at all. I am so very sad because tonight seven of my ten brothers and sistrers are gathering in a motel to attend the funeral tomorrow and I want to be there but I am too scared of getting an infection to make the drive. I am afraid of going into the hospital away from my drs. My case is very complicated, and I have had so much antibiotic and most of it either doesn't work or I am allergic to it.

EDITED: Fixed smiley-kitkatz,moderator