Why does she hate me ?

[KICKSTART]

My Aunty is a complete B***H , ..sorry, but she is. We are not a big family but its the same every year. I have a brother and every year my aunty (my mums sister) buys him a nice present ..what do i get ? Nothing. I have never fallen out or done anything to her to be treated like this but every year she does it. My mum rang me tonight to say 'she' ,(my aunty) had invited all the family round for a meal tomorrow night , am i invited ..NO In fact one year she had everyone round for xmas day dinner ..everyone except me AND she knew i was sat at home on my own. I have told my mum not to expect me to even bother to be civil to her any more , but my mums soft and doesnt want me to say anything. I wouldnt care but my aunty is a nurse , a highly qualified one at that , does she ever ask me about how i am ..yes you know the answer ..NO. Sorry rant over, but its like im not even part of the small family we have the way she treats me.

[Sluff]

Don't go to her functions. We loves ya.  Don't invite her to your home either but invite everyone else.

[skyedogrocks]

Well that is just horrible.  I'm sorry about that!     Have you ever tried confronting your Aunt?  Your Mom should tell her that you need to be included, that just isn't right.

[angellady07]

Kickstart, I'm sorry you are going through so much with your aunt. Keep your distance from her. I know it's hard because she is family. She better than most should be sensitive to your needs and feelings because she is a nurse. You deserve better. I have a similiar situation with one of my sisters. When she offered me a ride home from the hospital recently, she told me and the nurse I'd better be waiting outside with my things . My things included my wound vac and a huge box with supplies for the vac. She too works in health care. Next time, I'm calling a friend. I just want you to know you are not alone and we care.

[Falkenbach]

Gosh, some people can be horrible. I'd say keep the peace (and by that I mean no more than just avoiding having an out-and-out screaming match with her) but there's no reason why you should make any extra effort such as being polite or inviting her to anything that is ever held at YOUR place! I second the "just keep your distance" advice.

[del]

I can't believe that your mother and brother would even accept her invitations when she is being so awful to you. It is terrible.

[willieandwinnie]

  I'm so sorry KICKSTART,

I only have a brother and we have not spoken for years. I wouldn't want to be around someone that treated me like that and being a Mom, I can't believe yours hasn't stood up for you. I just don't get people anymore. 

We are always here for you, so your never alone.

[KICKSTART]

Thanks everyone you are all fantastic. My mums problem is she doesnt want to upset anyone , she has always let her sister walk all over her (from young) even though my mum is the older sister. Me .. i can take my aunty or leave her , luckily we dont really bump into each other much. It just annoys me that she doesnt include me in family things. Not to worry i wont be wasting any money on a card for her this year ....unless you know of any tasteless ,tacky ,insulting ones  thanks again everyone , i hope your christmas is everything you want it to be   

[Ken Shelmerdine]

Send her a picture of you sticking pins in a VOODOO DOLL!

[Sluff]

Send her a picture of you sticking pins in a VOODOO DOLL!

That looks like her... It is terrible but I have the same issues with my family and I wrote them all off. My Brothers in the Club I belong to and my IHD family and of course my wife and son are all I have.

[kidney4traci]

That stinks.  I have an aunt that way, shw won't even talk to me.  She lived with my grandma and I wanted to go and see her (they lived in another state) and she told me she would be out of town that weekend.  (Grandma was like 83 at the time - where was she going to go??)  Unfortunately, I beleived my aunt and never even tried to check on her when I visited that weekend.  I found out after that that she past away the next month!  My kids never got to meet her and I have deep anger for my aunt because of that.   

[okarol]

I have a sister like that - she's nuts. Have your own family gathering, pot luck if necessary to delegate the prep of food. Don't invite your Cranky Aunt. Invite only the people that make you feel special. Celebrate YOUR life with family members you love and make your own traditions. Life is too short to waste on someone who isn't a positive energy!

[paris]

I guess we all have strange relatives.  I have a brother that ran away at age 18 and we didn't know anything about him for the next 35 years!!  After lots of research, we found him and we all got rejected again.  He truly wants nothing to do with any of us.  He is not a lunatic; actually was a captain with the New Orleans fire department. We really don't exist to him.  And my older sister talks to no one anymore. Really, no one. Never visited Mom during the 6 years of Alzheimer's. She did show for the funeral (the brother didn't).  There seems to be a certain gene in our family that lets people walk away and never look back.  My other sister's son doesn't contact his mom and dad and my younger brother's son is the same way.   I have a stone with a saying carved on it  "Friends are our chosen family".   Isn't that the truth?

I am sorry your Aunt is being so rude.  I agree with Okarol. Have people around you that make you happy. You don't need her if she brings such bad feelings. Be selfish and gather those around you that adore and support you.  Your poor Mom must be miserable trying to keep your Aunt happy!

[TynyOne]

I know I have not been on this site in quite a long time but I actually forgot all about this site because I have found more and more websites and forums to do with kidney disease; however, when I read this, I HAD to respond.  I think the first thing that popped in my head is that you are a far better person than me because I for one, would HAVE to speak out to the Aunty.  Heck, what have you got to lose?   She already does not speak to you anyway.  You don't even have to do it face-to-face or even on the phone, you could send her a letter along with a NICE card (guilt) and express how you feel.  The second thing that popped in my head is basically what everyone said, I can't believe your own Mother will not speak up for her own daughter.  Its one thing for your Mama to let this Aunty run all over her but to me, it would be another thing to allow my sister run all over my kid/child and make her feel so unloved.  But yeah, like I said, I would HAVE to tell Aunty how I feel in one way or another.   Thanks for letting me share!

Tammy from Alabameeee   

[karen547]

My Grandma is similar- she does little to show she cares for anyone, and is just very cold.

[Chicken Little]

Ya can't pick your family.  If you could, most of mine wouldn't have made the cut.    

Love those that love you, and don't bother with those who don't.  Just because they are family, doesn't mean they are good people or ones that you have to put up with.