Stranger donates kidney to save Owensboro nativeBy DARIUSH SHAFA
Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer
Oct 27 2007
OWENSBORO, Ky. --
In a philosophy class at the University of Kentucky, Erik Roby once argued that he didn't believe that true altruism - doing good for someone without expecting a reward - exists.
Then a stranger donated a kidney to Roby and saved his life.
"I remember defending the opposite position, that it can't ever exist," Roby said. "I was the naysayer."
Roby, 28, was born in Owensboro but now lives in Lexington. He was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease when he was 16. This disease, which is genetic, took the life of his mother in 2002 and had degraded the function of Roby's kidneys to the point where he was relying on dialysis every day.
Enter Larry Smiley, who is a regional training manager with the T.G.I. Friday's restaurant chain. Smiley, based out of Lexington, was visiting the Owensboro restaurant when he overheard Roby's father, Larry Roby, talking about his son's disease and that his son needed a donor with O-positive blood.
"For some reason, my first response was, 'I've got an extra one. He can have one of mine.' I didn't say anything at the time, though," Smiley said.
He thought about it on the drive home, prayed about it and talked with his wife and friends. Then he called the Owensboro restaurant, where Larry Roby is a regular, and asked them to help him get in contact.
"To me, it just seemed like common sense, in a weird way. It didn't seem like a big decision. It wasn't like any angels singing or any weird experience," Smiley said. "It was that this guy really needs one, it would mean a lot to him and his family and so I've got to do it for him. It was just something that needed to be done."
At first, Erik Roby said he figured it was too good to be true.
"I told my dad not to get too excited about it," he said. "This is some random guy off the street we don't even know who only overheard the conversation. I was just so skeptical about the whole thing."
But skepticism got the boot, and hope moved in.
"The next thing I know, I'm getting a call from UK Hospital telling me this guy was interested and was coming in to get tested," he said. "The next week I get a call telling me he's compatible. I'd never even talked to him."
On Oct. 2, Roby went in for pre-operation procedures. The next day, doctors transplanted the kidney from Smiley to Roby.
Days later, Roby went home to his girlfriend, his 4-month-old daughter and a new shot at life.
"A whole new world has opened up to me since this," he said. "I didn't know if I was going to be around or not."
What especially scared Roby about that possibility was the chance that his daughter might grow up without a father.
"That chance of me dying was there, and it made me think, 'What do I need to do for my daughter now?'" he said. "Now, I don't have to worry about that as much. It opens up a whole new world for me and allows me to look at her in a new light."
Smiley's act of generosity has changed Roby's outlook, too.
"It really did change my mind on the whole altruism debate," he said, adding that he has trouble expressing his feelings about it. "Words don't really do enough, how much I appreciate it.
"Thankful isn't even enough," Roby said. "There's not words to describe what this man has done for me."
But Smiley insists he didn't do something special. He just did what he felt he had to, he said.
"I'm no more different or special than the average guy. I think there's a lot of other average guys and women who could do this," Smiley said. "If anything, this process isn't about me. It's about Erik getting a kidney, feeling better, growing up healthy as a son and a father with someone he loves. It's about him getting better."
What Roby said amazes him most is that Smiley put absolutely no pressure on him.
"He expects nothing from me in return, not even a thank you," he said. "It brings tears to my eyes, thinking about what type of person he is."
http://www.kentucky.com/471/story/214399.html
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