Never truer words spoken, "in sickness and in health". Andrea, it is not easy and it may not be what you thought you signed up for, but imagine how scared he must have been to not to tell you. You love him. Diabetes & kidney disease suck. Depressions sucks. But all of these things can be managed. If your relationship can survive these initial shocks, then you can survive almost anything. Think of it like seasoning a frying pan, once it is well seasoned, it is better than teflon - nothing sticks to it.Give yourself some time - now is not the time for rash decisions, you can have a life that is not ruled by disease. Just don't expect it to happen overnight. Finding your pathway is a slow process - especially when you are walking down that path hand in hand. The enormity of today could easily be a survival story for the future. Meltdowns are great, and highly recommended - that is why we have the Rant icon. IHD has helped to give me back my sanity in the 10 months that I've been reading the boards, and I hope that it can help you. We're rooting for you.Best,Anna