What To Do With Myself

[willieandwinnie]

OK Guys,
  I feel lost. For over 6 years I have been a 24 hour a day caregiver. We did Len's hemo at home and were together 24/7. As many of you know he had a transplant on 9/7 and expect for a couple small problems that will work themselves out, I don't know what to do with myself  I love to cross stitch, read, quilt and work on miniatures but in all honesty, I just haven't felt like doing any of it. We still have all the hemo equipment and supplies in our spare bedroom and I don't even want to pack any of it up or make plans for the room. Maybe I think it will jinx things. Has anyone else gone through this? I have also felt more emotional in the last 2 weeks then I have in a long time. What is wrong with me?
 
  I know this great group will come up with some theories.

Thanks
Kathy
willieandwinnie

[paris]

Your emotions are probably very normal. For the first time in years, his care isn't your primary focus. Take some time to adjust.  Take some time for you. You aren't the same person you were before all of this started, so maybe you just need time to figure out the new you.   We are here for you and wishing you and Len good things.

[jbeany]

Close the door to the dialysis room and ignore it for a while.  All the hobbies you mentioned - quilting, minis, etc. are things best done when you are able to focus and are already relaxed, so they probably won't appeal until you've adjusted to your "new normal".  You've still got a bit of time when you have to be close to the hospital for tests and more tests, but can you plan a mini-getaway when the appointments aren't so close together?  Or at least do soemthing you haven't been able to do since home hemo claimed so much of your time.
I don't think anything is wrong with you - you just have to give yourself time to adjust to Len's new independence and your freedom from constant caretaking.
 

[Sluff]

I can't come up with anything new that Paris and JBeany hasn't already suggested but please understand that we are here for you. Thanks for coming to us with this question.  Nothing but good thoughts and prayers for you and Len.

[George Jung]

Not too sure what I would suggest but I do realize the importance of having meaning in life.  Six years of caregiving...sounds like it became your passion to me and I believe without something to be passionate about there is an emptiness in life.  I don't know what to suggest specifically but maybe try some things out that come across your mind from time to time.  Volunteer work is seems like it would be noble and rewarding, is there anywere you would like to dedicate some time and effort?  There are other people who need your help you just need to find your "cause".

[cev]

Hi Kathy,
I truly believe you are feeling the emotional and physical let down that comes after the "big event" that you worked so hard for, being a caregiver for 6 years is an awesome task.  I agree about closing the door to the room and take care of yourself, Can you talk with your husbands social worker? (assuming he had one while on dialysis, we do). Give it some time and the YOU that was put aside all these years will come back.  Best of luck to both of you

[Romona]

Kathy,  You should be proud of what you have done for the last 6 years. I don't have any suggestions, I just want to say "Job Well Done".

[kitkatz]

Can I tell you I understand completely your feelings?  I had amini breakdown a year after Victor's accident. Things were okay again and I just lost my mind for a few weeks there.  It is a strange feeling to have to change roles again in your life.  Let things go for awhile and just learn to live a new way again. Let the life changes come and you will adjust to them slowly.

[goofynina]

I say spend more time with us here on IHD 

[skyedogrocks]

What a wonderful woman, wife and caregiver you are!  I can totally understand how emotional it would be.  I think many of us have felt that way from doing something for so many years and then poof!  It's done!

How about joinining a woman's social group in town?  Getting together with friends and family more often?  Do you have a group of girlfriends you can meet up with once or twice a week?  Maybe start a walking club?  Once Len is feeling up to it, maybe you guys could go on a morning walk?  Maybe join up with folks at the mall in the mornings and do the walk?

You guys can also enjoy travelling now.  You have focused so much time, love and energy on your husband, try to focus on you now!

So happy your hubby is doing great!!!