Keefer don't beat yourself up over something that you no longer have control.
I also look at Amanda's photos and grieve for what might have been.
I have a similar family history to Amanda, although mine is not so lucky. My dad was on dialysis for ten years (due to PKD). He was a very compliant patient but his body just did not respond. After two failed transplants and ten years of dialysis he died due to complications at the age of 42.
We just have to roll with the punches
and keep our heads above the water.