Just got word

[donnia]

Just got word that my husband is not a match for me   I guess maybe it is for the best.  But, damn, I just want to scream and punch something.  Why can't I get some good news for a change?  So what now???  I just sit and freakin wait for the phone to ring???

Sorry, just had to let it out.

[thegrammalady]

rant all you want, you are entitled. i'm so sorry for the news. hopefully some good news will be coming your way soon.

[livecam]

We all have major frustrations trying to get to the transplant finish line.  I had a donor who didn't match, one who did but backed out, and several that I wouldn't consider because I felt it was too much of a risk for them.

Hang in there.  Other donors will come out of the woodwork or an unexpected phone call will come along and you'll be on your way.

It is dfficult and frustrating but it will work out.

Feel better.

[angellady07]

I'm sorry that your husband isn't a match for you Donnia. My thoughts are with you.

[stauffenberg]

Just be glad you don't live in Canada, where the average wait for a cadaver kidney to become available is 8 years, which is a longer wait than many of the sub-classes of patients on the transplant list are expected to survive!  My wife turned out not to be a match for me, and two friends who offered also both turned out not to be matches.  Since I had type 0 blood, as do 60% of the people in Canada, the odds that all three donors would turn out to have either A, B, or AB blood were quite small.  So I had to wait and endure the mounting complications of dialysis from December, 1996 to August, 2003. 

Because the number of people on dialysis around the world is increasing dramatically, while the total number of kidneys becoming available for transplant is stagnant in most countries, it will soon be the case that unless you have a friend or relative who is a donor or you buy a kidney in a foreign country, you will have to wait until past your life expectancy for a transplant.

[goofynina]

Aww Donnia, sorry to hear that, but please try to look at it as a blessing in disguise, ok... No worries, your turn will come  

[skyedogrocks]

Just be glad you don't live in Canada, where the average wait for a cadaver kidney to become available is 8 years, which is a longer wait than many of the sub-classes of patients on the transplant list are expected to survive!  My wife turned out not to be a match for me, and two friends who offered also both turned out not to be matches.  Since I had type 0 blood, as do 60% of the people in Canada, the odds that all three donors would turn out to have either A, B, or AB blood were quite small.  So I had to wait and endure the mounting complications of dialysis from December, 1996 to August, 2003. 

Because the number of people on dialysis around the world is increasing dramatically, while the total number of kidneys becoming available for transplant is stagnant in most countries, it will soon be the case that unless you have a friend or relative who is a donor or you buy a kidney in a foreign country, you will have to wait until past your life expectancy for a transplant.

Gee, it just amazes me how you tend to look on the bright side of things.  Nothing like making her feel better.   

[skyedogrocks]

I'm so sorry, sometimes life just sucks.   

[donnia]

I'm so sorry, sometimes life just sucks.   

LOL... thanks!  Yes, sometimes life does just suck.  I guess I have to look at it as for the best.  Now when I do get my new kidney, hubby can wait on me hand and foot   

I was kinda worried about him anyways.... when they tested us they took 5 vials of blood from him and he said he felt light headed... I told him what a wus he was!  When Baylor first started all my tests they took 17 vials from me.  I don't think he would have made it out of the lab! 
 

[Krowbar]

Even though your husband may not be a match for you, you can still do an "exchange" with a donor for another transplant patient if the other donors kidney is a match for you and vice-versa.  I don't remember the exact name of the program but thats the gist of it. You should contact your transplant unit to get more details about it if your state supports it. I know at least NJ does it.

[BigSky]

Just got word that my husband is not a match for me   I guess maybe it is for the best.  But, damn, I just want to scream and punch something.  Why can't I get some good news for a change?  So what now???  I just sit and freakin wait for the phone to ring???

Sorry, just had to let it out.

Sorry to hear that. 

[donnia]

OMG!!!  I forgot about that!!!  Thank you so much for reminding me!!!  I will call my coordinator tomorrow.  Meanwhile I will do some searching on the net!

 

[Slywalker]

Sorry to hear about the non-match with your husband.  But Krowbar is correct - if your husband donates a kidney that is suppose to move you up on the list.  My donor checked this all out because if she wasn't a match she was going to do that for me. 

Good luck and hang in there!!!!

Sandyb

[Amanda From OZ]

Sorry to hear that. That really sucks. 

[livecam]

Sorry to hear about the non-match with your husband.  But Krowbar is correct - if your husband donates a kidney that is suppose to move you up on the list.  My donor checked this all out because if she wasn't a match she was going to do that for me. 

Good luck and hang in there!!!!

Sandyb

I think what Krowbar meant was a simultaneous swap.  Lets say you have two couples where one person in each wants to donate to their spouse but in both cases there is no match.  Now lets say that the donor in each couple does match with the recipient in the opposite couple. 

Now you have a 4 way swap.

They do these at the same time in the same hospital.  They use 4 operating rooms with 4 surgical teams removing and transplanting kidneys at about the same time.  In the end the two recipients walk away with new kidneys and everybody is happy.

[skyedogrocks]

Sorry to hear about the non-match with your husband.  But Krowbar is correct - if your husband donates a kidney that is suppose to move you up on the list.  My donor checked this all out because if she wasn't a match she was going to do that for me. 

Good luck and hang in there!!!!

Sandyb

I think what Krowbar meant was a simultaneous swap.  Lets say you have two couples where one person in each wants to donate to their spouse but in both cases there is no match.  Now lets say that the donor in each couple does match with the recipient in the opposite couple. 

Now you have a 4 way swap.

They do these at the same time in the same hospital.  They use 4 operating rooms with 4 surgical teams removing and transplanting kidneys at about the same time.  In the end the two recipients walk away with new kidneys and everybody is happy.

Both Livecam and Krowbar are correct.

You can do the 4 way swap that Livecam is referring to if you have another couple to match with.

or

You can do the swap that Krowbar refers to.  You can have someone donate to the person at the top of transplant list for that blood type and then you move to the top of the list for your blood type.  This can only be done once though.  The good thing about this is that the transplant team can be very picky on who the deceased donor is. 

Good luck!

[donnia]

Wow!  I didn't know there were 2 different kinds of "swaps".  I have called my coordinator.  I am waiting for her to call me back.