Too many coincidences: She discovers identity of man who got kidney

Too many coincidences: She discovers identity of the man who received her brother's kidney

The Record
Sherbrooke, Quebec
May 11, 2007

Unless they come from live family members or friends, organ donations are anonymous and transplant recipients rarely get the opportunity to thank the families of the deceased donors whose gifts have improved or even saved their lives.

But thanks to a lucky coincidence, Reinhard Berger got a chance to speak this week with Mona Parent, whose brother's gift of a kidney changed his life.

The Ste-Catherine-de-Hatley resident was recently interviewed by The Record for a story written during National Organ and Tissue Donor Awareness Week in April. Berger told us he did not know from whom his life-altering kidney came, only that it belonged to a 54-year-old man who died of a brain hemorrhage in Montreal on Dec. 19.

Last week former Sherbrooke resident Cheryl Kouri, who works at Bonaventure Polyvalent School on the Gaspe coast, received a pile of recent Records in the mail. She sat in the staff room sharing them with another former Townshipper, Patsy MacDonald.

While leafing through the newspapers, Kouri came upon the story of Reinhard Berger. As she read it, she realized the man from whom Berger had received the kidney was likely the brother of a longtime colleague who works an hour away.

"She wondered if she should tell me. She was really afraid to open old wounds," Mona Parent told The Record. "But Patsy encouraged her to call me and I'm really glad she did."

Parent is 99.9 per cent sure Reinhard Berger had received one of her brother's kidneys. She was thrilled and wrote The Record to tells us so.

"I am the sister of a 54-year-old man who died of a brain aneurysm on Dec. 19 in Montreal. We were told that his heart, kidneys and liver were successfully transplanted.

"Although we know the issue of identities of donors can be a sensitive issue, there is a striking coincidence that offers no small sense of accomplishment for what my brother did," she wrote. "I appreciate the article as it reinforces some of the efforts we have been making here concerning the importance of organ donation. It made a difference."

"It's a good weird," Parent said when called the next day. "It made it seem so real. It's such a wonderful story. Such a wonderful gift."

When we interviewed him in April, Berger said the kidney transplant on the eve of the holidays in December was the greatest Christmas gift he ever received. Meanwhile, in the Gaspe SPEC newspaper, Parent's longtime friend Byron Edwards wrote about Parent's brother.

"Those who knew him would not have been surprised. It would be those that never knew him that would receive a Christmas gift that gave a whole new meaning to the idea of surprise."

"When Denis went quickly from a brain aneurism... the signature on his Medicare card may not have been the first concern to all those to whom he had connected," Edwards wrote. "As many tried to come to terms with the loss, other lives were about to be profoundly changed with a gain. At the Royal Victoria Hospital a process began in which Denis breathed life for four unknown people."

After her brother's heart, liver and kidneys were harvested, organ donor counsellors at the Royal Vic told the Parent family the gift would remain anonymous. That's what the transplant team here at the Centre hospitalier universitaire de Sherbrooke told Berger when he received his kidney - Berger had asked if he could contact the family of the donor.

"It's a most interesting coincidence. Who would have thought this would happen?" Berger told The Record when we called to tell him his donor had been inadvertently located thanks to the article.

Parent said she hoped to talk to Berger. "I want him to know he's got something that means a lot to us."

They spoke Wednesday night.

"We had a long talk," Berger said Thursday. "She wanted to know how I feel and she told me about her brother and what he did."

"It makes me feel good that he was very active and a strong, hard working man," Berger said.

Berger also learned he shared some interests with Parent, such as a love of fishing. Parent sent him pictures of her brother, including one of David fly fishing in one of the salmon rivers near his hometown of Miguasha.

The two also had a mutual affection for a particular brand of beer.

"She asked me if I drink and I told her a like to have a couple of beers. She told me: 'My brother used to like Molson'. I drink Molson Dry," he said, joking about how Parent's kidney was accustomed to that brand of ale.

"He said he likes beer," Parent told The Record in a separate interview. "I said Denis wouldn't mind."

"It's the perfect compatibility," she added, joking about their similarities and the fact that they were both English-speaking. "It's amazing."

Parent said she was glad to talk to Berger about the transplant and how much of a difference it made to his life. "It made us feel like it was worthwhile."

"I will take good care of it," said Berger.

The kidney changed Berger's life and made him more independent.

"One of the big things about having an organ transplant is afterwards you have so much energy," Berger said. "Before that, every little thing and you're exhausted. I had to take a two-hour nap every afternoon. Now I can't sleep in the afternoon. I have too much energy."

Parent said her brother Denis, who lost a leg to phlebitis in 1988, truly believed in the importance of organ donations.

"When he lost his leg he became aware of how important health was. He said the greatest gift you can give to someone is a gift that makes them healthier.

Parent said her brother signed his organ donor card and often talked about it.

"He used to joke about it... 'They'll never use my liver' he'd say," Parent said. Her sibling was a bon-vivant who enjoyed his beer, loved to play guitar and tell jokes. "Denis was a social butterfly. He didn't have a wife or kids, but he had pockets of friends everywhere."

By coincidence, Parent has another connection to the Townships. Her daughter has been studying at Champlain College and mom will be here this weekend.

Parent said she would like to meet Berger, but neither brought it up in their phone conversation. They both told The Record they were uncomfortable, and a little emotional.

But they may get the opportunity to speak face to face in the fall when Parent, who works at who worked at Escuminac School in the Gaspe, returns to the Townships on Oct. 19 to attend the annual ceremony of the Canadian Association of Organ Donors.

At that time, Denis Parent's name will be inscribed on the organ donor cenotaph in the park at the corner of Portland and Jacques Cartier in Sherbrooke. The granite memorial lists the hundreds of Canadians who have given the gift of life by donating an organ.