Where I Think I'll Be Going/Doing

[MooseMom]

Ah, PT, I wish we could be of more help to you.  All we have are "platitudes" and good wishes to pass on to you through a computer screen.

Thank you for keeping in touch. 

[PrimeTimer]

MM:  I consider the replies and well-wishes here from the ihd family very meaningful. Never platitudes. I know you guys understand a person's pain and sorrow.

[MooseMom]

You are in our thoughts, PT.  Love to you.

[kristina]

Thinking of you and sending my best wishes.

[PrimeTimer]

Well, I'm still at the "House Of Cuckoo" but the good news is that I'm on a waiting list for an apartment. The waiting is 3-6 months. So long as I've got something to look forward to I ought to make it out of this place because conditions have certainly detiorated. Guns, drugs, felons and crazy people. So I pretty much keep to myself here in my tiny room. But doing so hasn't done me any favors; now I'm starting to lose the use of my legs and have a whole lot of pain. I should be mobile and up and moving around more. It's my fault that I'm not but I've been too scared to go out for a walk by myself in this neighborhood. But I think I am just going to have to do it because losing my legs and falling isn't so fun. I haven't started the Humira yet but am eager to. I see my Rheumatologist next month for more tests...he is thinking that in addition to the Pulmonary Sarcoidosis, that I may have Neurosarcoidosis and/or Sarcoidmyositis. I don't care what it is so long as I can still do things for myself and live independently.  I so desperately want to leave the House Of Cuckoo and get away from all the drama and hate here. The place is filthy and so are the characters. But I absolutely must remain in survival mode if I've got any sort of future. It's been nearly a year since losing my husband but I don't think I've properly grieved yet. I had a dream where he appeared and said he can still help. That was very comforting so I hope for more dreams. He was truly a very special man and what we had together was "once in a lifetime". I consider myself fortunate for the time we had together and hope we will be rejoined. Right now, I just have to do one day at a time. If I think any farther ahead than that I feel overwhelmed. I guess I'm lucky to be breathing. I don't care what I look like with all bruises from the Prednisone or how much the Methotrexate makes me gag or what the oxygen tubing up my nose looks like. People try not to stare. In fact, they look away. I'm sure they mean well but I'm the type of person that smiles at everybody and I miss seeing people smiling back. Heck, I miss people for that matter! But seriously, when I can get put I want to show that I still consider myself fortunate in this world and wish to exchange smiles. It's free, no harm in it and can make you feel better. I highly suggest it. 

[MooseMom]

It is very good to "see" you, PT, but I do regret that your living arrangements is still so difficult.  I can't believe things are worse than before!  That seems impossible!  I commend you for just putting one foot in front of the other until your name comes up on top of the waiting list. I sure do hope that day comes soon. 

I hate to hear that you may have more "conditions" than the ones you have already been diagnosed with.  Life has not been particularly kind to you lately, has it.  I hope you keep smiling.

 

[SooMK]

Hi PT, So good to know that you are still hanging on and managing to keep a little hope. It all sounds so grim but you seem to have come up with a way to focus on getting through what you must. You have to choose between getting enough exercise to stay upright and your safety. Ugh! Thanks for checking in. Wishing for your own little apartment to become available soon. Thinking of you!

[kristina]

Dear PrimeTimer and many thanks for your update and I do wish you good luck on the waiting-list for an apartment. 
... One day at a time ... and please take great care of yourself and again, I send you my best good-luck-wishes from Kristina.