Transplant or Dialysis?

I had a transplant in 92. It lasted about ten years. I have had kidney disease since i was born. I knew in my head that i would always have it. I was lucky though because it didn't fail { I say IT cause i was only born with one } until i was in my thirties. I have wrote about this in another thread. When i was faced with dialysis the first time i had a wife and two children. One was just a baby. My ex and her family and some of my friends told me i was crazy not to go on. " If you love us you will do this." Things took off. There was dialysis. I worked at the time and went to dialysis. My ex couldn't stand it. Other than her i had the support of everyone else. She found the whole thing a burdon on her and where she wanted to be with her job. My brother came into the picture and spoke of a transplant. The way my brother is and the people he knows the whole thing became a media event. Two fund raisers were done and around $30,000 was raised. We were in the paper and t.v. and even the radio. I remember seeing him right before they took him down to get his kidney out for me. I wasn't used to someone loving me that much. Afterwards there was the initial media attention then i was by myself. I was told the following: I was cured of my "disease" i would never have to worry about dialysis again. The transplant would last forever yes i was told forever. I believed them. I felt so much better after i woke up from the transplant. I was ready to live again. I had a new baby and my wife and daughter. We moved to another state a year after the transplant. She met a healthier man and divorced me. I wasn't even over the transplant. My mind couldn't fathom that. What about the "If you love us you'll do this crap?" At the time i made some decisions that I'm not sure were correct. Once i was separated she took me off the medical insurance. At that time around 93 or 94 my job couldn't insure me cause i was a high risk. I struggled for four years before i was able to get it again. I went on the antirejection meds again. My kidney lasted till 2003. I came back home to nothing. No more fund raisers. No more media. WTF? they lied to me man. I wasn't able to enjoy the gift of love my brother gave me. It was destroyed by greed and selfishness. I came home because family is better than nothing. I waited though when my kidney failed again. I did things i know i wouldn't be able to do. It was hard to face my brother. Now i am on dialysis again. The first time i had the catheter and went through seven of them. This time i went through six of them and finally agreed to a fistula. My old transplant coordinator told to take care of my new kidney. She said; "Keith you will not be able to handle dialysis again." Well i have. There is some reason i guess i am still alive. I have a woman in my life now who has been tested and is a match. No more promices. No more media. Just me.