Question?

[kitkatz]

Hypothetical question and I do mean hypothetical (so do NOT freakout.)  These things weigh on my mind sometimes.
Would you want to know if you had cancer or another disease on top of renal failure?  What would you do?  Would you fight it? Or is renal failure enough to handle already?  Would you want to know if there was nothing anyone could do for you medically? 
Can you request that the doctors not tell you about it and allow you to live as normal a life as possible? 

My answers:  I do not think I would want to know about it if there was nothing they could do for me medically.  I think I would tell   the doctor thank you, renal failure is enough for me to deal with right now and when I feel bad I will let you know.  Otherwise I do not think I would be able to handle it.  I would just do dialysis and try to live each day to its fullest.  If pain came I would ask to be medicated.

[Sluff]

I would want to know. I'm nosy that way. I'm always in pain somewhere in this abused body of mine but I'm in tune when something doesn't feel right so I would need to know what it is.

[nextnoel]

(VERY GLAD the question is only hypothetical!)

Yes, I would definitely want to know - I deal with scary medical situations by learning as much as I can about them (that's how I found this site!), and getting familiar with the details, no matter how strange and terrifying they are to begin with.  Then as I read/learn/hear more and more, the situation feels more and more manageable, even if the eventual outcome can't be good, because I feel less like I'm going to be blindsided.  That is true for both things I can do something about and things I can't, because if I don't know what's going on and I am in pain/distress/discomfort, my imagination can come up with things WAY scarier than whatever the truth is!

I would especially want to know as much as possible if the doctors could do nothing for me, because I would want to line things up to make myself as comfortable as possible, making sure the "little things" were taken care of, old friends chatted with, old love letters shredded ( ), closets cleaned (but not necessarily by me  ), and making sure my daughter was prepared to take in my 2 cats when the time came.

As to whether or not I would fight it, I won't know until the actual time comes for the decision.  I'm 61, I believe in an afterlife, more of the people I love are dead than alive (and I bellieve if I live a good life, I can see them again), and I'm not afraid to be dead.  (However, I strongly agree with Woody Allen, who said, "I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens!")

I have a very precisely worded Living Will, and my family all knows about the details of it and are onboard with my wishes.  I have a DNR code that my doctors agree to follow.   And I'm coming from a somewhat different angle than you are, because I already have loads of stuff wrong with me, and it's dialysis that I'm going to have to soon make the decision on accepting or declining!  (And yes, from what I've learned from this site, I think I will almost certainly go for it!)

Interesting question, kitkatz, and one I think should be considered ahead of time, while calmer, less rushed thoughts can prevail.


 

[paris]

Nextnoel, we are very much alike. I feel the same way. Let me have all the info so I can get things "ready". Because if I am going to die, people will be in my house, so I need to super clean, bake and cook!!  I think renal failure was a good wake up call for me. My thoughts are all written out, papers signed, even funeral plans are together. Put it all on paper, then put it away and now I am just enjoying living!!   

[nextnoel]

Paris, you've got it exactly right!  Congrats!

[mallory]

I'm with nextnoel and paris, I need to know what's going on with me.  My renal failure was caused by Microscopic Polyangiitis, which has also affected my lungs and caused a lot of other problems.  When I was diagnosed with MP in January of 2005, the doctor came in and told me, "You can look this disease up on the internet, it's very rare and very, very bad.  There's not much we know about it and not much we can do about it."  I was stunned.  But, I started doing my research and now I know what I'm up against.

I know what my chances are, and I know what my chances are of getting a transplant, but I'm not giving up.  However, I have made some decisions about what's going to happen in my life, my will is being finalized, my sister knows what I want to happen, and I cleaned out all those closets and drawers.

If it happens, I'm ready to go, but I'm not ready to go yet.

[jbeany]

I want to know every last detail, especially if the doctor is saying it's untreatable. 

And then I want a second opinion!

[kitkatz]

  I am bumping this thread up.

I think we think about these things because we have a disease that will eventually kill us.  So when something else comes along we have to either cope with it or decide not to deal with it.  Dialysis kicks butt first, then to add something else just seems to kick butt worse. I know I posted what I am going to do if something happens somewhere else on the site.  If you hear me say I hocked the house...

[thegrammalady]

never say NEVER!!!!

there is a guy at my center that has prostate cancer as well as kidney failure. when he was diagnosed he was told he had about 6 months to live. that was 7 years ago.

i try never to give up. hell, yes, i want to know, and whatever it is i'm going in kicking and screaming!!!

[okarol]

I don't have renal failure (again, never say never) but I wanted to answer anyway.
I really don't know what I would do. I am a fighter I guess. I think I'd rather face whatever it is head on, eyes wide open.

However, i can appreciate why ignorance is bliss. My husband's grandmother was 90 years old and having occasional stomach pains.
She went to the doctor for a diagnosis, but told him "If it's bad news, I don't want to know."
Later he called her, and I asked her what he said. She said "nothing really." So I asked "So is that good or bad?" and she said "I don't know, but I told him if it's bad not to tell me, so I guess it's not bad." She was so funny, she didn't want to deal with any serious illness or treatments as she had been healthy most of her life, never even taking any medications before. The stomach pain got worse and worse over time, but it never stopped her from driving and playing bridge til she was 92 years old. She passed away at home. She did it her way and I think for her it was the best choice.

So I guess if I was 90 years old, I'd rather not know.

But my husband has had chronic pain for 9 years, and he's in pain all the time. I don't know if he could take another surgery, or cancer, or any more bad news. It wears on him.

[Sara]

Not being in the situation myself, I still think I would want to know.  I would want to be able to make in-depth preparations for after I'm gone.  Things you always mean to do but never get around to doing them. 

[glitter]

my husband-losing his 2nd kidney to cancer,and reading what we have about RCC,it being very hard to treat if surgury is not a cure-(they dont even do chemo for RCC)-would hate to waste whatever precious time there is-(his was surgically cured)-we both would like to plan our own end--hard question this one.

[bluedove57]

I would want to know as to make sure I would spend quality time with my kids. I feel with God on my side.....I'd deal with it.

[livecam]

Gotta know as soon as possible.  Bad diseases can be fought more successfully the earlier you know about them.  Would I be pissed if something was wrong, they knew, and didn't tell me?  Hell yes and bigtime!

[Rerun]

I'm with you Kit!  I would not want to know.  If I did know I would not seek treatment.  I don't want to be sick with chemo and dialysis the rest of my days.  When the pain got to much to bear I would check into hospic and check out. 

That is "one" thing I like about dialysis.  I have some control of my destiny.  (maybe)... It helps me mentally to think I do anyway!

[mrhecht]

I would definately want to know so that I could pray and fight like hell. Still have too much to do!

[Joe Paul]

Both my parents died from cancer, my Dad, within 2 months of being diagnosed, Mom lasted 8 years. I would fight cancer, or any other disease till I couldn't fight no more.

[goofynina]

I would fight cancer, or any other disease till I couldn't fight no more.

I'm with you on this one JoePaul,  I aint going nowhere without a fight dammit

[Bajanne]

I would fight cancer, or any other disease till I couldn't fight no more.

I'm with you on this one JoePaul,  I aint going nowhere without a fight dammit

I'm for fighting too!

[st789]

This is a great topic.  When I was on dialysis, I thought kidney failure is my only problem.  Wrong, in addition I have liver problem also like I did not have enough problem already.  After kidney transplant everything is cool, but still you need to see many other specialists in addition to the two mentioned above.  At what point, can one be so tired of seeing so many doctors.  Just my take on it.