I am an Addict, now in Detox, Day3

[DayaraLee]

Good news

   

Ditto from me! Glad to hear that your doctor was able to offer that as an alternative.

[Charlie B53]

I haven't gotten high on purpose since Sept 1981.    That's a long time to be 'clean'.    I really do not need to have that 'altered' feeling any longer.

I understand people using and getting 'loaded'.   But I don't need that any longer.

Constant pain can be a serious problem.   I have found that for me, the synthetics, used responsibly, can actually make a huge difference in reducing pain without altering my perception.

I was very surprised this last time in-patient with that peritoneal infection.  The pain was soo intense, the Dr's had me on regular morphine IV injections.   I really didn't want it at first.  I was afraid if the sickened stomach and fogginess of perception that I've had previously using morphine pills.   So I was very surprised that the injections DID ease the pain somewhat and WITHOUT the sickness.  Maybe there is a big difference between those taking the drug for fun and me taking it for serious pain.

Whatever, when Dr wanted to start me on the morphine pills again I respectfully refused, afraid of the side effects same as last time I had them.   I did not know methadone could be used as a pain medication.  without side effects.

I am getting by O.K. so I'll just keep on at where I am now.

[Fabkiwi06]

Wow Charlie... just reread this whole thread and you deserve major kudos for tackling this head-on as you have. I've had friends end up in bad situations due to narcotic abuse - and both of them "started" because of needing pain management for surgery or old injuries. It's such a slippery slope to go down and it seems to go from "under control" to "out of control" very quickly. I'm glad to see your doctor has been working to make sure you're safely off those meds while still managing your pain. Hope it continues on that path.

Keep it up! You're doing great!

[Charlie B53]

I remember well, and still miss the old days.

I was at the curtain alongside the stage in Frankfurt when Pink Floyd did Comfortably Numb.   And Yes, I was.

No more.

[Athena]

Charlie, I've just seen this and want to let you know that this has moved me quite a lot. I have seen people suffer from chronic pain and it is truly a most horrible thing to have to endure. It is so easy for anybody to become addicted to painkillers. I remember coming down with shingles once and remember how all too well how much I needed painkillers to get through that, it would otherwise have been unbearable! I also recall that I when I had surgery in the past, I was really dosed up with oxycodone (?) and was also given morphine injections. I think they really went overboard with this, to be quite frank (that's from my present self's perspective) and I was the one who eventually refused the drugs by the 3rd day post surgery. I don't recall any high as such, just a bit of temporary nausea, light-headedness and being very sleepy.

You are incredibly brave to have endured in this fight in the way you have.

One question that I had when reading through the posts here is why - considering that you are on dialysis & hence dependent on a great deal of medication - would a doctor suddenly declare that 'you are an addict'. You've been on those painkillers for years under the supervision of MDs ... It sounds like there's been a sudden change in medical protocols more than anything else. If so, it kind of sounds a bit arbitrary from a medical point of view. Yes, we have a wider societal problem with drug abuse and addiction but in my mind, medical patients should have more special consideration as a category in view of the pain and suffering that they have to endure.

I don't have any experience with regular use of painkillers but I now do have to rely on a cocktail of pills to manage my CKD, including Ambien to get a good night's sleep. My attitude is: what we need, we need. I don't enjoy being dependent on pharmaceutical drugs but I have no choice in the matter. If I suffered from pain, I no doubt would want/need medication to alleviate that.

I'm sorry Charlie if I'm sounding like a bit of a Devil's Advocate here in some way. I don't mean to be. I really am a novice with painkillers so therefore find it a bit hard to distinguish them too much from other classes of pharma drugs. Just my 2 cents worth, for what it's worth.

Keep up the good hard work you're doing in fighting for your health Charlie.

[smartcookie]

Way to go, Charlie! I just read this thread and you are so inspirational. 

I had my first back surgery at 26.  I went through multiple steroid injections in my back and a cocktail of naproxen, muscle relaxers, vicodin and lyrica before the doctor agreed to surgery.  Turns out, I not only had a herniated disc, but a bone spur growing over my sciatic nerve.  Coming off the pain medication was hard.  I had been on it for four months before surgery and then about two weeks after surgery.  I couldn't sleep and my back hurt as I got used to how to move differently through physical therapy.  I relied a lot on Benadryl and melatonin for relief.  In fact, I have never quit using melatonin since that first surgery.  The pain medicine messed up my sleep cycle and I can't sleep without the melatonin. 

I started having pain again a little over a year after surgery.  My repaired disc fell in height a little and caused a lot of problems.  Again, doctors put me through back injections and physical therapy.  I even did chiropractic care, message therapy and acupuncture.  It took me about 9-10 months to find a doctor willing to do a spinal fusion on a 28 year old.  Finally, I got on xlif fusion in my lumbar spine at L3-4.  Now my back structure had changed and I had to learn how to move without catching ligaments on screws in my back and just the general pain of getting over such an extensive surgery.  At that point, I had been on vicodin and muscle relaxers for about 10 months.  I was supposed to spend only  one night in the hospital after surgery, but spent three because the doctors had a hard time controlling my pain.  Finally, I went home on a high dose of vicodin and muscle relaxers.  It took me a year to get off pain medications.  I took the vicodin just at night for months and then switched to tramadol. 

It is so hard to come off pain medicine.  And then when you need it again, it is hard to sleep and sometimes harder to come off it.  Depression can set in and make it even more difficult.  I am impressed you came off the medicine in the amount of time you did.  I know what it is like to be in pain and have pain down your legs and up your back.  I am so glad you have found something that works and makes you feel better!