How many of you have depression?

[Bungarian]

I have been feeling really depressed the last few weeks. Have not said anything to the doc about it. Is it common among dialysis patients?

[obsidianom]

DEPRESSION is very common all across all parts of life.  I cant give stats on dialysis but it is so common out here in the world. If it is causing issues than consider meds and /or therapy. It isnt worth suffering in silence.

[cdwbrooklyn]

Bungarian, are you in-center? 

[Bungarian]

Bungarian, are you in-center?

Yes

[Jean]

Yes, I do, off and on. Mainly when I have t take another step, like vein mapping I get anxious and depressed.

[jeannea]

Depression? All the time. I don't have any official statistics but I bet it's most of us. If it gets really bad so that you never want to see anyone or you don't want to eat, seek help.

[cdwbrooklyn]

Bungarian, usually when patients first start out in-center there is a depression moment because your life will no longer be the same and things you are use to doing are no more or limited.  However, you will build a new life with Dialysis and things will fall in place again.  It’s okay to feel depression but try not to stay there.  I use to feel depression often when I was in-center. There was so much going on in-center that made me constantly feel depression.  Here are some things:  I hated the fact that the machine was not ready for me and I had to waiting ½ - hour to get on.  I hated the fact that I could not hang out with my friends because I had to go in-center.  I hated when the tech made mistakes and starting laughing as if it was a joke.  I was more depression leaving the center than I was going there.  What I use to do is surround myself with people that would make me laugh and were happy to see me.  I would keep myself busy when I didn’t feel too tried to do anything.  Also, I would try not to let my situation keep me depression and most of all I would try to have a positive attitude.  Not easy but I took it one day at a time and before you knew it 11 years when by.  Now, I’m home doing my treatments and feeling  much better.   

[Angiepkd]

Bungariun, depression is very common among people with ESRD.  I would imagine it is also common for anyone dealing with a chronic illness.  I am one of the happiest people I know, but when I found out I had cancer and then that my kidneys were going to fail before I was cleared for transplant, I was definitely depressed.  I take a low dose of Zoloft every day and it has really helped me deal with things.  I am not a fan of anti-depressants, or any medication, but it truly helped get me through.  I was having trouble getting out of bed, crying a lot, not wanting to leave the house.  All things that weren't like me at all.  Therapy may have also worked, but I am not sure I would've made myself go.  I cried in the nephrologist's office and he prescribed the Zoloft that day. He said many of his patients take it.  I no longer think people are weak who need a little help dealing with problems.  Talk to your doctor and see what he suggests.  Best of luck to you!   

[pagandialysis]

I deal with depression everyday. You just have to learn how to deal with it and not let it ruin your life. I suggest doing things that make you happy and finding someone to talk to that knows you're depressed.

[Wildrose]

I deal with depression too. Matter of fact I let it get the better of me recently and I skipped two days of dialysis in a row. I just couldn't bring myself to go.
The best I can say is to not sink into it... I think it would be hard to avoid it all together, but try to stay positive and do things you enjoy. Make a point to laugh every day, spend time with friends or family, etc. And if you believe in God, pray.

[jeannea]

Last night my depression was so bad. There was something that happened, long story. But I can take a dive so fast.

[kristina]

It is quite "normal" to suffer now and again from depression because of our dependant situation...
...  One of the main problems as an ESRF-ler is to compare our situation to other people, people who are not in ESRF....
...that alone causes depression because people who are not in ESRF seem to have a much fuller life... and many more chances...
...they don't have to think about their diet or their kidney function... they have the luxury to get on with life...
...whereas we have to think about all sorts of details and risks about our diet etc...
...and that often causes depression ....  but the best thing is to get on with it...
and just to try and accept ESRF as "the norm" for us... the earlier we accept our ESRF-situation... the better for us...
... because we can't change our situation anyway... it is better to accept it as it is... ESRF and all...
.... that might give us a chance to get on with it and to accept the ESRF situation as it is...

[estonb]

I've been a dialysis patient since 2001, and I was seriously depressed for the first 7 years or so. I saw a therapist regularly during that time, as well as a psychiatrist for about 2 of those years. My psych did put me on an anti-depressant, which actually helped a lot, but I think I got the most help out of going to therapy regularly.

I do remember how horrible being as depressed as I was felt. It wasn't to the point where i didn't want to get out of bed, or didn't want to do anything at all. I just remember not feeling up to doing much other than what was necessary (going in for my tx, going to my doctor visits, errands ... that sort of stuff). Any free time I had I usually spent it watching a whole lot of TV. I'm a huge computer nerd and I completely lost interest in all things that required me to turn on my computer. That lack of interest in my computer was probably the hardest part for me.

Eventually, I came out of it.

Looking back I really think my depression was due to the fact that i hadn't really accepted that  my life was no longer "my life" anymore. It seemed like I was forced to live someone else's life - someone that had to be stuck to a chair for 12 hours a week (plus the typical 20 minutes of take on/off time as well as the driving time to the clinic), someone that couldn't work anymore (I was a workaholic before dialysis), someone that had restrictions placed on their diet and fluid intake, someone that couldn't travel as spontaneously as I could before... I'm sure we all get the picture.

I guess it just takes time for a dialysis patient to REALLY come to terms with the strange life of being a dialysis patient. For me, it took many years. For others, it may only take a short amount of time, and for others it may never end. Every person is different so every person deals with the depression that can be brought on by dialysis differently. My suggestion for any dialysis patient suffering from depression is to GET OUTSIDE HELP! Talking to you partner or to friends about your depression will help, but it is not the same as getting help from someone trained in dealing with depression.

[A.everett81]

I recently started speaking to a therapist for my depression. I put it off for the last year because I refused to believe that I could be suffering from depression. I thought I had accepted and dealt with the the mental and emotional stress that my kidney failure had brought on but I was sorely mistaken. I didnt realize it until I just broke down one day for no reason at all. I was driving home from a treatment and just started to cry. Its been a rough year to say the least. My depression is what finally convinced me to come here and register an account. It helps to have people to talk to who are going through the same thing and understand what life with kidney failure is like. I would definitely recommend speaking to a therapist or counselor, it really helps.

[jeannea]

I have to agree. Seeing a therapist can really help. Some charge on a sliding scale if you are broke.

[komomai]

Yes, I get depressed at times, like when stuck in a hospital for 40 days, fighting a rare infection.  But with the support and help from groups like this and my O'hana (family) and especially my loving wife who takes care of me even while in the hospital it gives me hope and I want to take charge of this illness and try to live as normal a life as possible. 

I also have 2 brothers back in Hawaii who are willing to donate a kidney and my Okinawan wife, my feelings on this is I got myself into this situation and I don't want to mess up any one's life by taking one of their kidneys and they run into medical problems in the future, that's just my feelings.

[talker]

If you can check out my blog at:

http://www.thetalker.org/archives/424/3-talker-on-seniorteenarmed-forces-depression-and-suicide/

Did a piece regards depression  and I believe its still valid today.

talker

[gothiclovemonkey]

my therapist calls it "situational depression" or something like that, its the crap we go through thats causing us depression, we have a 'reason' for our depression, so its technically not an illness, it wouldnt be there if we werent dealing with what we have to deal with....
I have clinical depression, ive had it long before the kidney issues, but i dont think it effects me like a normal person either. the meds dont really seem to do THAT much for me (unless i stop taking them!!) but of all the people i am around on a regular basis, I am the happiest, and most rational, and I am also the most easy going... which is odd because from what i know they dont have health problems, or any other big life issues to speak of, so technically they should be mentally better than me, so personally, i believe each person expeirences things so differently, that a paper cut to one person no big deal, a paper cut to another person is life changing...
the reason i say this, dont let the fact you have depression right now deter you an.y. I have dealt with it on and off all of my life, and while there are days i want to end it all, because im tired of hurting, or tired of dealing with the stupid drs.... i tend to get through those day by thinking of the good stuff, taking one day at a time.

Im sorry if this doesnt make much sense, i read it a few times and revised, i am on pain meds right now for this darn graft surgery i had, and its making me loopy!  But i hope you take something from what ive said. and if anyone who reads this ever needs an ear, please speak up. either to me, or someone here, or a friend, or call a hotline, something. i know that when that feeling of deep dark depression hits, sometimes it seems theres no light, but grab someones hand to help pull u in. scream yell smack something, break something, do something. it WILL pass.
ive had to tell myself that every single day this month, it will pass.