Hi everyone, Im new here but not new to Dialysis XD

[ceb3370]

Hi just call me jAn, not so young not so old

i been on dialysis for almost 4 years.
At my first year was the worst and most painful of all. Those were the times where i can't accept what just happen to me. Of course im still young, and have a good paying job, having a beautiful girlfriend. But after the illness, everything is taken from me, well except for the girlfriend, its me who ends our relationship because i know deep inside i will just hold her back, she was a registered nurse when we were in a relationship, she don't agree my decision and she says she don't understand at all. But those were the times that my mind were like a ticking time bomb, suicide was my very option that time, where my relatives never leave me alone where ever i went. The most depressing moment of my life is when the doctor announce that dialysis is for a lifetime.

Those first two years keeps me admitted to ER for almost every month because of Edema, i can't control my thirst at first, It was never easy, never!, thirst is what i feel most of the time. I gain a lot of weight and it keeps me hard to breathe.

i can't count how many nights i cried, sometimes the people around me will just cry with me too. sadness is all Around our home, so my family really gives me the full support that i need. so years have pass, suicide is out of my mind anymore, why commit suicide, i will die anyway sooner or later so whats the rush, right guys? so i will just savor every moment that i spend with my family as long as i still have the will to live.


By the way: Is it just me or its hard to find the Forum link in the main page. I have to type it manually from the address bar if i will go to this forum, because i dont know where to find it.

[boswife]

   And glad you stuck around to share with us and let us share with you.  Its a very hard time to get 'usedto' this kidney failure crapola for sure!!  And im 'just' the wife of D man. 
As far as finding your way around, someone else can better explain, but what many here do is,, when you just open up the page, and you see your name etc at top left of page,  well, right there it will say "show unread posts since last visit" and if you click there, you can read all the new posts that you havent read.  Or, go to where it sais "home" and that will take you to where you can go to sections to post into. 

[okarol]

If you go to www.ihatedialysis.com you can then scroll down and click the button to enter the forum.

 

Welcome!
okarol/admin

[ceb3370]

thanks so much okarol, im getting use to it now.!


 

[Rerun]

ceb3370, I'm so glad you found us.  You have so much to give people who join us, and are at phase one of your journey.  Lots of people come here who are so scared of the future. 

If your girlfriend was a nurse then she had the compassion for a lifetime of dialysis.  But, I understand letting them go because you are injured and the enemy is fast approaching and the hill is steep and you just scream "leave me and go".

You are not elegible for a transplant?  What's up with that?

Hope you stay tuned to IHD.  Looking forward to your posts. 

Rerun, Moderator      

[ceb3370]

hahaha nice metaphor..

I am, but transplant here is so expensive, im 26 years old so im still young for transplant, but that cost much money.

well just see for the next few years (that if i still survive) if we can make a way for transplant.

for now just taking my dialysis regularly.

[lmunchkin]

Welcome Ceb.  I hate that it had to be under these conditions, but glad you came here!  Lots of good people here full of support.

Again welcome & God Bless,
lmunchkin