Maybe it's a cliche but life is a struggle. It was a struggle before I got sick and it's a more daunting struggle now that I'm on dialysis. That's just life. You have to find the small joys that make it all worth it to struggle and endure. Best of luck.
Also, I cannot help but notice you are a parent and therefore in my personal opinion your life does not belong to just you anymore, at least until you have ushered that child into adulthood (the exact age is up for interpretation) and discussed this decision with the significant people in your life. It sounds to me like you are in desperate need of change in several areas of your life right now. For your daughter's sake, I would say you should exhaust every option you can think of before turning to an irreversible solution like stopping dialysis. Hope this helps a little, or at least gives you food for thought.
I am not on dialysis so my thoughts may not be what you are looking for, but I can understand why you are so fed up with your situation and I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling so much. However, in these scenarios, death is often aptly described as a "permanent solution to a temporary problem". Judging only by the bit of information you've given, I would say these all sound like fixable issues - the job wearing you down, clinic difficulties, and hopefully the feeling that you keep getting sicker. I believe these all have solutions, but you have to find the energy and fight to tackle them, which can be overwhelming and seem impossible. Also, I cannot help but notice you are a parent and therefore in my personal opinion your life does not belong to just you anymore, at least until you have ushered that child into adulthood (the exact age is up for interpretation) and discussed this decision with the significant people in your life. It sounds to me like you are in desperate need of change in several areas of your life right now. For your daughter's sake, I would say you should exhaust every option you can think of before turning to an irreversible solution like stopping dialysis. Hope this helps a little, or at least gives you food for thought.
CW, I personally understand what you are feeling. It's okay to feel that way because everybody needs somebody. Being on D is not easy and there are days you will have ill feelings. When I start feeling that way, I think of the possitive things in my life. What makes me want to stay alive? I think about the things that God blessed me with and it usually put my mind back on track. I do feel like giving up somedays because I just don't want to do D. There are times I fight with myself but at the end of the day, I'm happy I did D. I feel a lot better and can continue to live my life. Also, I can understand people complianing about minor things that is just a walk in the park. However, we have to understand that their insecurity as well as D is our insecurity. Nonetheless, you are a strong person and when those negative feelings start to invade your mind, fight them with your positive feelings. Sometimes we have to learn to change the way we think because the mind do play tricks. Anyhoo, vitamins can help you feel a lot better after D. Look at some overthecounter vitamins that can help and talk to your doctor to see if it's safe. I take overthecounter vitamins and it does wonders. My doctor approve of it. It helped me through D for 14 years. Anyhoo, hang in there.
Dear CW, I can only agree with the posts above. Just starting to look for those solutions will make you feel better. It will, cos it did for me. Making a start is half the work. Your avitar is just too funny, too sarcastic, and for years I thought it the funniest avitar I had seen since I started losing controle over my body (17). I hope to see it regularly for quite a few years yet. I understand you I think, but try the 'easier' options first. The things you can, at least, try to change.We are going to be such a loooong time dead.Take care my darling, and lots of love, and strength Cas
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
I Hate Dialysis Message Board
Author
