Think I am experiencing burnout or anxiety

[del]

For the past several months I have not been feeling like "me".    I know I am probably going through menopause but anxiety has really kicked in too and I really don't understand why (maybe hormonal??)  .  My husband has been on dialysis for 16 years and is doing really well.  He basically looks after himself except for me setting up the dialysis machine and putting his needles in.  I have this terrible dread that something is going to happen to me - heart attack etc!!  I have heart palpitations, shortness of breath ,feels like I can't get a deep breath sometimes, yawning to try to get a deep breath, trouble swallowing, feeling of dread, knot in my belly, tingling feelings all over, not able to sleep, tired, dizzy spells and probably I few other things that I have forgotten. If I am busy and forget about the symptoms they go away. The worse is at night when the feeling of dread hits me in the stomach. I have been to my doctor and have not had much satisfaction.  Was sent for an EKG because of the palpitations and it was find.  She did refer me to a heart specialist but that could take a year before I get an appointment. She checked my hormone levels for menopause and they are all low but won't give any HRT treatment.  She prescribed ativan and a sleeping pill.  I refuse to take the sleeping pill.  I am a teacher and don't want to be a zombie during the day. I have been taking the ativan at bed time and it has helped a little. 
I don't know if it is from dealing with dialysis for such a long time with no break and knowing that there is not going to be a break. Hubby does nocturnal home hemo which we really like. Going back to in center would be even more stressful for both of us.  I do not feel like I am stressed from the dialysis or school though. It seems like I am more stressed from not feeling like "me".  I am going to go to another doctor to see if I can get some answers.  The doctor we are seeing now does not seem to be on the ball.  She even asked me the other day if I was the one on dialysis !!!  And she had my chart in front of her!!
Just wanted to rant for a bit.  Thanks for listening.

[glitter]

Holy smokes- I hope you can get an appointment sooner then that! That's a long wait.
The symptoms you describe sound much like my own-when they determined my issues were not cardiac related (I also get this buzzing in my chest at night- very scarey) my Dr gave me an antidepressant- Prozac- and its a fairly low dose and it has helped quite a bit. I still get it, but not every night now and not as bad. Maybe it could work for you? Recently another Dr told me I should consider switching to wellbutrin because its better for women, I have not had a chance to talk to my doctor about that though. I hope you find some relief.

[del]

Thanks glitter .  I have been thinking about asking to try an anti depressant.  I'll try anything right now. 

[willowtreewren]

Oh, Del, that sounds AWFUL! I had no idea you were having so much trouble. 

Rant away, though. We all need to do that at times. I hope what ever doctor you see, they can get to the bottom of this. 

Aleta

[Zach]

 

[smcd23]

I'd try to get an appointment with a psychologist/psychiatrist if possible. You deal with a lot like many of us here, and I find it helpful to talk to someone else. But where you are also possibly going through some menopause, I am sure hormones going out of whack combined with even a minor chemical imbalance could cause your anxiety. My niece is on the other side and for a few years had a number of anxiety issues due to hormone imbalances from being a teen combined with stress and a little depression. And many times anxiety is a symptom of depression.

Feel free to rant away anytime! Just remember this too shall pass. 

[okarol]

  I hope you can find some answers del.

[MooseMom]

If you don't feel like your anxiety is due to dialysis or school, you're probably right.  You've been at this game long enough to know if this was the source of your problem.

If you are not sleeping well, then your anxiety will only be exacerbated.  It is very important to right your disrupted sleeping pattern.

I'd be interested to know...what is different today from the time before you started feeling this way?

I hope you feel better soon.  Please let us know what helps, OK?

[Jean]

Sorry you are having these problems Del. I agree, taking an anti depressant is probably your best bet. I take one every day myself.

[del]

Thanks   
Moosemom, nothing has changed in my life recently - just the same old , same old.  I do have a totally different workload at school this year(my last year teaching because I retire in June) but I am enjoying it.  I taught grade 2 for 13 years and this year I have Kindergarten for half the day (4 students) and I teach 2 of the "easy" subjects in grade 5 and art in grade 5 and 6 , as well as look after the library.  I find none of it stressful though.  This seems to have hit me like a ton of bricks in early Oct.  Seems like every week it is a different symptom and some that I had in the beginning is now gone.  I was really scared at the beginning that I was having a heart attack but I can talk myself down from the palpitations (they don't happen as much now either) .  I do have sinus problems as well as allergies so that could be some of the breathing issue (but not all of it).  I have been using my neti pot and a puffer for the past couple of months and the breathing seems to be a bit better.  It is the feelings of dread now and the tingling feeling.  Some days I feel really good and then it all comes back the next day.  I am trying to get an appointment with a different doctor soon.  Because I mentioned I though it was menopause symptoms that's all my other doctor looked at.  I am going to ask to have my thyroid checked and ask about chemical imbalances.  I HATE feeling like this.  I really wish I could get outside and walk but being winter here the roads are terrible.  There is slushy snow on the road with ice underneath.  Last thing I need is to fall and break something and hubby would NOT want to live with me  LOL.   I have a treadmill but hate using it.  I find it boring . I really like to get out in the fresh air - Most nights before bed I open the patio door and stick my head out for a few minutes - couldn't do that the few nights it was -15 celcius with a windchill of about -25!!

[natnnnat]

Hope you have a good day today Del.  And another good one tomorrow.

[MaryJoe]

I'm so sorry to hear that you've been feeling this badly for so long.  I can relate to that feeling of dread and tingling feeling, Sometimes at night I get this horrible fear that if I go to sleep I will not wake up.  My heart races, my chest tightens up, I feel like I can't get a full breath and break into a sweat.  I think if I can just stay awake I'll be okay, if I don't go to sleep, I won't die.  Crazy, right?  I mean, who so you call at 3:00 AM and say "Talk to me so I won't die"?  This all started after I found out about my kidneys - just one more thing to worry about healthwise and apparently the one that pushed me over the edge.   My doctor put me Wellbutrin for depression and Ativan for anxiety.  They've helped tremendously.  He also gave me a sleeping pill,but I rarely use it.  I still have occasional "breakthrough" attacks, but overall I'm doing so much better.  I hope your doctor is able to figure it out and help you with whatever the cause is.

Funny side note: (funny in retrospect!) My husband said I should wake him up when I felt that way, so one night I did.  He patted me on the shoulder, said"I'm sorry:, and was snoring again in about 10 seconds!     I'll never let him live that down - "My hero!" LOL

[del]

LOL , MaryJoe same thing happened with my hubby one night!!!  Maryjoe what you describe is exactly like I feel sometimes!!!

[CebuShan]

So sorry to hear that you aren't feeling well!   
When I went through menopause, I didn't have the "normal" symptoms, (no hot flashes, mainly) I did have dizziness, trouble sleeping and anxiety.
I don't like to take drugs or pills of any kind so rather than put me on HRT, my Dr. had me take rose hips vitamin C and black cohosh. It really helped. You might ask about something like that.
Hope they find the answers soon and you can get back to feeling "sane & normal"!

[MooseMom]

del, I know just what you mean about fresh air being so helpful in calming a tortured mind!  Here in Chicago, we haven't really had winter yet, so I've been able to get out and walk daily as usual, and I wish you could do the same.

I agree...mention "menopause", and most docs will use that to explain EVERYTHING.  Keep pushing your doctor to think outside the box. 

[brenda seal]

del , sorry you are feeling so bad . The main symptoms I experienced during menopause were not being able to sleep , although I was constantly tired and feeling anxious and a sense of doom . As I am high risk for breast cancer I decided not to have HRT . It took a good few years for this to pass and even now I get the butterflies in the stomach expecting something bad to happen . I do not wish to take medication as I need to be alert to look after Laurie . I have devised distraction techniques that work for me usually . You will probably think me crazy if I tell you and I have never told anyone before but here goes . I deliberately think of mindless things , like going through the alphabet and thinking of 5 boys names beginning with A , then 5 girls names and so on until I reach the end of the alphabet or have fallen asleep . You just have to  find what works for you . I relive pleasant times in my head , like family holidays and special celebrations and plan what I would do if I had time or money . I have built many beautiful houses and furnished them in spectacular style ! I love jbeany's posts about her house .
I told you crazy but it works for me and I have managed to stay off medication and face up to my responsibilities . I hope this passes for you soon or you can get a doctor to take you seriously . I went to GP on Friday to get scripts for Laurie on Friday and whilst I was there told him I had a very sore arm , I think I have pulled a muscle lifting Laurie and was hoping he would give me anti-inflammatories but he just told me to put ice on it !

[del]

You aren't crazy  .  Sounds like a good coping plan to me.  I have made many plans in my head as well and travelled to many places. LOL

[The Noob]

del: not to be a wet rag. but all the symptoms you are describing go right along with perimenopause and the menopause.

this is not to say other situations can't excerbate it though. they sure can.

the month DH was dx and started pd at home, i had 8 periods back to back, one week apart each. then they stopped altogether. thats been 3 years in april. i had all the same symptoms. but i had no insurance. i was able to tough many of them out but it was rough. now almost 3 years later, they all mostly subsided though they do flare up at times.

yes, caregivers work hard and try hard. after awhile, they start to break down too. i have a badly torn rotator cuff. it has gotten worse with no treatment and about once a day i land on the floor screaming. i wear the sling, do the ice, whatever i can do. it all helps a little.

we have been at home with Nxstage for over a year. if he had to go back to clinic, i would have to drive him. in the winter. it can be anywhere from 45 min to 2 hour drive each way, depending on weather. then i sit in clinic all day in a hard chair, or try to find something to do.
then the drive back. and he would feel so bad he would go straight to bed till the next trip, leaving me to handle the farm chores and housework.

i have a free clinic i can go to, but they don't do much.

the antidepressant is a good idea. the black cohosh will work, but it can take 8 weeks before it does, and then you can only take it a few months, have to get off, wait and then start again.

there are other things than can be the culprit here, but everything i've read  and tried for myself, it was mostly menopause. then of course life events made it all worse.

most of the symptoms settled down after about a year and half. by the 2 yr mark, most were gone except once in awhile would flare back up.

16 years at this, you know the drill. i wish sometimes the docs and nurses would not look at the caregiver as an appliance to get the work done. even appliances wear down, need maintenance.

[del]

I am feeling better. When I get some of the symptoms I talk myself down by telling myself it is just menopause!!  I am sleeping better (for now) and hopefully that will keep up at least until I retire in June. The doctor prescibed a sleeping pill for me but I haven't taken any because when I read the side effects it can cause you to get up and do things in your sleep.  Not the thing when your husband is hooked to a dialysis machine!! I did take a 0.5 ativan for a couple of nights but have stopped that now since I have been sleeping better. The breathing problems have settled as well.   I know things will flare up again but at least now I know that other people have the same symptoms!!  Seems like every couple of days there is a different symptom.  I have switched to decaff tea after 6 in the evening.  I only have a coffee and a green tea earlier in the day anyway.  I have really cut back on diet pepsi as well.  I started taking a multi vitamin and a vitamin D supplement last week and that seems to have helped.  Doctors recommend a vitamin D supplement here at least in the winter because UV rays don't even reach here in the winter. 

Thanks everybody for your comments and help!!

[brenda seal]

I am so glad you are feeling better .

[thegrammalady]

glad to hear it's a bit better. by all means get a second opinion. i've had trouble sleeping for over 10 years. especially since starting dialysis. since i no longer work i gave in and slept when i could and didn't worry about it when i couldn't. now having to take care of william has put me in a pattern and things finally seem to be getting better. hang in there and keep on truckin 

[The Noob]

SAD's can be a factor also in winter for some of us in the north. it can hit in other seasons too, but most common in winter. symptoms are like depression ones, but added to it are the cravings for carbs.
i've had it off and on every winter i've lived up north. only thing that helped me was more sunlight and of course vitamin D. this is hard to do when its -8 outside, ice and snow. but if i can stand/sit in front of window or go outside as much as i can tolerate, it does improve in a week or 2.

also, i quit the pop few years ago. diet stuff with the common sugar substitutes can be a culprit and cause alot of these symptoms.