Feeling lonely.

[Rain]

I  am having a bad day emotionally today. I just feel so alone.  It usually happens around the holidays.  Since I got ESRD I pushed some friends away since they liked to party and go out and other then that we had nothing in common.  I kept a few friends but over the years they moved away, we keep in contact thru email and over the phone and we visit afew times a year. And the couple friends i have left in town are busy since they work an go to school and we are on oposite schedule do to my dialysis so we tend to get together every few months. The only people  Isee on a daily basis is my boyfriend ( whom I love) and my co workers. My boyfriend left this morning to go home to his parents for easter. I couldnèt go cause his mom is sick with bronchitis and they didnèt want  to get me sick.  I couldnèt go home to my parents cause they couldnèt get dialysis at the unit there, so Ièm leaving next week for a long weekend. 

I guess this is rant, on how much I hate how my disease as isoloated  me.  Does anyone else feel the same way some times

Ièm going to head out for a walk maybe exercise will make me happy again.

[cariad]

Oh, Rain, yes, I've felt that way before. I isolated myself a lot before transplant because I just did not feel up to most things, and it's hard to be happy for people who are out living life when your own is restricted.

It's tough to be alone. You are doing the right thing in trying to stay active and do things to distract yourself. I am glad you have your own long weekend to look forward to. Be nice to yourself and be sure to at least connect by phone with your parents and your boyfriend over the next few days. 

[Lillupie]

yes me too. Well somewhat before dialysis. I too really hate the holidays. I cant be with my husband, he is on active duty in the army.

Im 29 years old and I rarely go out. Im on Facebook a lot because that is my connection to the outside world.

[Riverwhispering]

Well I'm going to join you all in this lonely club.  I have no family here and no one to spend the holidays with.  Since Sept I've been totally alone as far as holidays and it's awful.  I belong to TOPS (a weight loss support group) and always after a holiday they go around the room and everyone shares what they did for the holidays.    I just say "pass" and have them go on to the next person.  It  is very depressing for me to be alone.  At first I was hoping someone would ask me over for dinner on holidays but now I feel it just wouldn't be right.  I don't want a pity party for myself but it really sucks.  I'm going to get a mini pizza and enjoy hanging out online.

[deniferfer]

Yup I know how you feel. I have been feeling very lonely lately. I don't get to get out much or do what I want. Unfortunately I kinda got nasty last night I took some of my frustration out on my little sister. Lucky she understood why I have been feeling the way I have been and she was able to make me laugh to help me feel a little better. I know a lot of it is jealousy that I see others go out, hang with her friends, go where they want and I'm stuck. 

Lillupie  I know how that it is..I'm 30 and I'm on facebook or here it seems all the time and just to have some kind of connection.

I'm sorry you guys will be alone for the holidays. That's hard for anyone to have to do.   

[Cordelia]

                    

[WishIKnew]

Hang in there.  I suggest that you do something very nice for yourself.  Maybe make yourself up an Easter basket or a special breakfast for Easter morning.  Watch a favorite movie or better yet, get a whole season of a show you love and give yourself a marathon on Easter day - I LOVE the series Switched at Birth and have treated myself to watching season one on several occasions!  And remember, you are not alone!

[Riverwhispering]

I just called Pappa Johns and will get my Easter Dinner pizza tomorrow and I'll be online having fun.

[Rain]

My plans for tomorrow is to go out to the movies to see th Hunger Games.

And then come home and try to attempt the 8km walk.   

Today I plan on getting groceries and then going shoe shopping.. :-)

[WishIKnew]

Sounds like a good plan.  We loved The Hunger Games.  Have you read the books?  Hope you find great shoes, enjoy your movie and your walk!

[bleija]

this disease does suck, i understand the jealousy part too, i am almost 22 so all my friends from school are getting married and having kids and graduating from college. I got married 2 years ago, and we both want kids, but thats not an option right now bc of dialysis... my friends are graduating with their 4 year degrees this year, and I am finally finishing my AA. In comparison sometimes i feel like i havnt accomplished much, but when i think about all the hurdles ive jumped and surgeries and issues ive had with dialysis im proud of myself. My husband tells me all the time that for the hand ive been dealt, Ive played it well. My nurse tells me every month that he is impressed with all i do, especially when i was working 2 jobs and going to school full time all while on dialysis. i am happy for all my friends that are graduating and having kids but part of me wants that for myself too and i know in time, but yeah I feel ya

[Rain]

WishIknew-  Yes I did read all 3 books.  I read a lot because of dialysis.

bleija-  All my friends are getting married and having kids now also.  So it's hard.  I feel like we have nothing in common any more.  I thing being sick has it's own hurdles and we should get medal for dealling with it.

[Whamo]

Sometimes I wish I was lonely.  My mother wants me to drive 70 miles to visit her for Easter, and my wife wants me to go to her brother's house for lamb.  I can't make both of them happy.  Today I wasted most of the day preparing for a tax meeting on Monday.  I did get in a 30 minute walk, about half of my usual routine.  Friday night's dialysis took a lot out of me.  I haven't felt so washed out for awhile.  If you're out there, lonely, I send you good vibes and aloha.  Jesus was alone, too, on the cross, for three days.