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Author Topic: An Apology to my IHD family  (Read 3476 times)
gothiclovemonkey
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« on: January 20, 2012, 08:05:16 AM »

I would like to say that I am sorry for the past few days. I have not been in my right mind at all. I am taking a break from posting on days i dont feel "normal" because I dont even remember posting some of the things i did.
I went to the hospital, because of the memory loss and headaches, they said they didnt see anything life threatening (Thank goodness!!) but want me to see a neurologist to sort this out. It may be seizures apparently.
Anyway, I am truly sorry if anything I have said was taken wrong or made you see my in a bad light. Im not usually so emotional, and Im not sure whats wrong right now.
I really care about you all, and consider you family.
Thank you for being there for me, for everyone. You guys are amazing. <3
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"Imagine how important death must be to have a prerequisite such as life" Unknown
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willowtreewren
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My two beautifull granddaughters

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« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2012, 08:06:39 AM »

Sending you  :grouphug; :grouphug;

It sounds like you are going through a tough time and you need them.

Here are some more:

 :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug;

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
Rerun
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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2012, 08:15:09 AM »

Don't worry about it.  More hugs your way....

                  :grouphug;
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Riverwhispering
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« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2012, 08:39:03 AM »

No need for an apology.   Been there done that almost daily.   I'm an emotional mess myself so I see it as a strange type of secret club we're in.   :grouphug;
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monrein
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Might as well smile

« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2012, 10:55:18 AM »

 :cuddle; :grouphug; :cuddle;
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
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Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
MooseMom
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« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2012, 10:56:39 AM »

I have a lot of pent up emotions due to my illness; the anxiety and the fear of the unknown, the days I feel unwell and the resentment that this is happening to me for no discernable reason whatsoever.  For years and years I have had to stamp down on these feelings so that I can lead a somewhat normal emotional life, but there have been many times when I just did not have the energy, and all of these emotions would explode to the surface.  I try to contain the explosion to make sure I hurt no one, and so far, no injuries have been reported.  If someone had been hurt, I would have fallen all over myself to apologize.

But I will not apologize for my emotions.  They are what they are, and if you don't want to see them or don't want to read about them, no one is holding a gun to your head, forcing you to witness the fiery eruption.

So, glm, you don't need to apologize for expressing raw emotions.  No one died as a result.  We all understand that each of us have our own personal war to fight, that we all are battling a formidable foe.  If we are offended by an emotional eruption on a webpage posted by a beloved member who is struggling just like we all have at some time, then perhaps we should secondguess our membership.

 :cuddle;
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"Eggs are so inadequate, don't you think?  I mean, they ought to be able to become anything, but instead you always get a chicken.  Or a duck.  Or whatever they're programmed to be.  You never get anything interesting, like regret, or the middle of last week."
billybags
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« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2012, 11:44:30 AM »

Goth, there is no need for apologies, we are all at one time or another under stress, not feeling well, not being on top of things. So stop feeling like you have let your self down, you have not.
What is causing your memory loss and headaches? Have you changed any of your meds recently, have you stopped taking any lately. Why do they think it is seizures. Hope you get on top of this soon.I hate to think you are suffering,. You take care now and post when you feel like it. Sending lots of hugs./
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CebuShan
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« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2012, 01:12:38 PM »

Glm... If we, of all people, can't understand the occasional outburst! I have days I want to lay on the floor and kick and scream. I think I would, too, but it scares my dog! Sort when you want. You have my #, call he you need something,   :cuddle;   :cuddle;
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okarol
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« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2012, 01:24:42 PM »

 :grouphug; No worries. Hope you figure out what's going on!  :cuddle;
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Admin for IHateDialysis 2008 - 2014, retired.
Jenna is our daughter, bad bladder damaged her kidneys.
Was on in-center hemodialysis 2003-2007.
7 yr transplant lost due to rejection.
She did PD Sept. 2013 - July 2017
Found a swap living donor using social media, friends, family.
New kidney in a paired donation swap July 26, 2017.
Her story ---> https://www.facebook.com/WantedKidneyDonor
Please watch her video: http://youtu.be/D9ZuVJ_s80Y
Living Donors Rock! http://www.livingdonorsonline.org -
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Traveller1947
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« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2012, 01:52:14 PM »

With such worrisome symptoms, how could anyone be his/her best self?  I hope you can get this sorted out quickly, for your own peace of mind, but don't stop posting, even if it's a bad day.  You contribute so much to this forum!  All the best to you, gothiclovemonkey...
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Ladystardust24
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Keep Calm, Carry on.

« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2012, 02:43:16 PM »

Sweetheart, you know what's awesome about family?

We love you no matter what. (the real meaning of family) I'm so happy to hear it's not something life threatening.

 :cuddle;
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Dialysis 99-01
transplanted 01-04
Dialysis 04-10
Currently Transplant 10-22 +!

Very grateful for my Ziggy Bean.
gothiclovemonkey
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« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2012, 01:06:50 PM »

Thank you all!
I dont know whats going on with me, im getting ahold of some kind of doctor monday morning.
Its just so damn embarrassing to be like this, when its not something you ever do. im usually really self controlled, laid back.

Yep, the true meaning of family is that, but in my family, it isnt, so im not used to it! I love it, but def. not used to it!!!

LSD i love the new pic!
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"Imagine how important death must be to have a prerequisite such as life" Unknown
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lmunchkin
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"There Is No Place Like Home!"

« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2012, 03:34:15 PM »

You take care of yourself, GLM!  You are not the only one to say or do something Korny!  Just get yourself better, but please continue to post!  I need you!  We all need you!  Your posts have really helped a lot of people here!

Love to you &  hugs,
lmunchkin
 :kickstart;
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11/2004 Hubby diag. ESRD, Diabeties, Vascular Disease & High BP
12/2004 to 6/2009 Home PD
6/2009 Peritonitis , PD Cath removed
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2/2010 BKA rt leg & lt foot (all toes) amputated
6/2010 to present.  NxStage at home
jbeany
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Cattitude

« Reply #13 on: January 21, 2012, 03:36:18 PM »

 :grouphug;
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galvo
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« Reply #14 on: January 21, 2012, 11:20:10 PM »

Love ya, Gothy!
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Galvo
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« Reply #15 on: January 21, 2012, 11:35:49 PM »

I didn't even bother reading this thread, cuz I figure you don't need to apologize for anything.  We're all screwed up in one way or another, and this place, at least for me, is a safe place to show off our screwed up sides.  If you are having black outs, I'm glad that you're getting yourself checked out.  I'd be really worried if you weren't. *hugs*
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Dialysis - Feb 1991-Oct 1992
transplant - Oct 1, 1992- Apr 2001
dialysis - April 2001-May 2001
transplant - May 22, 2001- May 2004
dialysis - May 2004-present
PD - May 2004-Dec 2008
HD - Dec 2008-present
big777bill
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« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2012, 02:53:01 AM »

 GLM I'm pretty new to the site and I do much more reading than posting. I have read some of your posts lately and you don't have anything to be apologetic for. All of us on here are going through things that would bring most to their knees so the occasional emotional venting is expected. You have to get it out sometimes. Wishing all the best for you. :)
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liver transplant 3/22/2005
CKD 2008
 
fistula 11/17/2011
 catheter 2/07/2012
 started  hemo-dialysis in center 2/07/2012
 fistula transposition 3/08/2012
 NxStage at home  3/29/2012
 Using fistula at home 6/25/2012
 Using new NxStage S High-Flow cycler 3/04/2014
looneytunes
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Wishin' I was Fishin'

« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2012, 03:40:58 AM »

 Goth...if I had a nickel for every time I have said something that was outside of the "mainstream" of acceptable social conversation, I'd be richer than Warren Buffet!  And I WOULD share!   Sending you a huge cyberhug!  :grouphug;
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« Reply #18 on: January 22, 2012, 01:50:45 PM »

*huggles* for my lovely ...

 :flower; (< and a flower too)
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
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Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
chook
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« Reply #19 on: January 22, 2012, 05:30:20 PM »

Hope you get some answers - I imagine memory loss would be very scary.  :cuddle;
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Diagnosed PKD 1967, age 8
Commenced PD June 2010
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Transplant March 2011 - so lucky!
"To strive, to seek, to find...and not to yield!"
rsudock
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will of the healthy makes up the fate of the sick.

« Reply #20 on: January 23, 2012, 09:14:33 AM »

Goth thinking of you!! Hang in there friend!!!  :cuddle;

Please update this thread as you know what is going on with your neurological symptoms!

xoxoxo,
R
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Born with autosomal recessive polycystic kidney disease
1995 - AV Fistula placed
Dec 7, 1999 cadaver transplant saved me from childhood dialysis!
10 transplant years = spleenectomy, gall bladder removed, liver biopsy, bone marrow aspiration.
July 27, 2010 Started dialysis for the first time ever.
June 21, 2011 2nd kidney nonrelated living donor
September 2013 Liver Cancer tumor.
October 2013 Ablation of liver tumor.
Now scans every 3 months to watch for new tumors.
Now Status 7 on the wait list for a liver.
How about another decade of solid health?
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