I'm a bridesmaid

[jeannea]

That's what the lady from the transplant office told me when she called early this morning. They might be getting a kidney. If they do then I'm one of the backup people to come in for antibody matching. I wasn't expecting any calls for about 2 more years. And I know for this one it's very unlikely I will be the match. I have 97% antibodies and they weren't going to start treating that for a while yet. But I guess I will end up driving to the center and getting the blood work done. The weird part is I don't even know if I'm prepared to go through with it if I am the one they pick. I've had a transplant before so it's not fear of the unknown. But I'm spending all this money suing my long term disability company because they say I'm not disabled and if I get a transplant I know I won't win that lawsuit. Plus I feel like I have my life stable right now finally and this will upend things again. And yet I would really like to be off dialysis. Such mixed feelings. It's giving me a lot of nausea.

[MooseMom]

Would you believe that during the IHD weekend meetup in Vegas, I got TWO calls, both as a backup!  Anytime I go out of town, I email my coordinator, but I guess this particular weekend, my message didn't get any attention.   I was "the bridesmaid" for both kidneys; the first one I turned down because it was midnight and I knew I just couldn't get home in time, and the second one went to another recipient.  But yes, I know what you mean; you steel yourself to wait years, and then suddenly out of the blue, a call comes, and while you want to grab the chance, you also know that suddenly your life will be turned upside down, and there is just no way you can be completely prepared for that year after year after year.

In these cases, I just tell myself that what will be, will be.  If I am meant to have that kidney, then I will get it.  If it goes to someone else, it was not the best kidney for me.  I hope that whatever happens, you will find some peace.  Good luck, and let us know what happens.

[jeannea]

So after 8 hours of fasting, and a lot of waiting, the coordinator finally called to tell me that the kidney went to someone else. It's probably for the best. I don't think I'm ready yet if the idea of it made me that sick to my stomach. I guess part of the problem is I got myself so ready to wait for 3 years that 1 year just seems weird. But I guess the kidney was at least sort of a match for my 97% antibodies or they never would have called me at all.