coping well

I started dialysis in January of this year I had no idea it was coming and like anyone would be was completely devastated. I didn't know how to live my life around it and hated, despised and f***ing detested dialysis. I couldn't even look at the machine at first it terrified me. I was extremely anemic with it and had no energy and thought that's the way it was always gonna be. It took a while for my body to get used to it but as the months have passed I've grown stronger. When I got the original diagnosis a renal councillor came to talk to me I told her about my personal life and that my mother and brother passed away a few years ago. She put it to me that she wasn't worried about how I'd cope because if I could cope with that this would be no problem. That gave me a bit of strength and me some fire in my belly. Then what gave me the survival instinct (for want of a better word) was thinking of my Dad(and brother and sisters) I couldn't bare the thought of them losing somebody else. So I promised myself I'd haul my sorry butt out of the sorry state I was in and you know what I can proudly say I have. I have a wonderful family and friends that helped when times were tough. I have transport to dialysis and travel with a great bunch even the driver is a great guy. Which helps a lot. I still hate dialysis with a passion and always will but there's no getting around it I need it. I'm starting to ask questions now and I'm not so terrified of it all. I started a new clinic in July and there was only an evening slot available but it seems to suit me I'm not as tired. When I get off I can come home to bed. When I was on early morning slot I was tired all day. So all in all in the few sort months I'm on dialysis I think I'm coping well and If I'd to give anyone advice that's starting on the horrible road of dialysis it would be try to stay positive (I know its hard). Also do what suits you (dialysis times, and an opinion on your care) and don't let anyone bully it's your body you know it best. Medical expert are there to help so listen to them sticking to the guidelines they give you keeps you healthy.