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Author Topic: Intro caregiver to My Beloved Hubby Joe who passed on Friday  (Read 3578 times)
abondanzamama
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« on: April 17, 2011, 05:40:06 AM »
Hi, All. I've been lurking at this site for months. Grateful for the perspective. My Beloved Hubby Joe, whose AV Fistula operation was performed 12/14/2010 just passed away on Friday. He had been diagnosed with Stage 4 last year, and his lab stats were holding steady on the fence between Stage 4 and ESRD. He was 84 according to legal chronology, but he was ageless -- ask anyone who's ever known him. Obviously, this is my emotional roller coaster time. My Joe would approve of (and insist on) my emotions running freely no matter what. I was gaining INVALUABLE insight from IHD, ever since I found it online the day My Joe was informed of his Stage 4 status. He was never formally told "Hey, you have CKD," but our doc did let him know he was "spilling more protein."  (Joe used to be a medic during the Korean War in England), and was a former lab tech for Shell Oil Development and Raytheon, so he kind of knew what was going on. I asked the primary care doc and the nephrologist what to do differently for him, diet-wise, and they advised me to maintain the best diabetes instructions, they would be the same. We did attend Kidney Care Classes, and Frankly, My Dear, My Joe didn't give a damn. (Well, he kinda did for my sake). He had not yet needed to use the fistula, and apparently it wasn't quite fully developed yet. But the hospital neph said he would probably be starting it during his hospital stay. We never got that far, and I consider it a great blessing not to have had that added aggravation.
Like I said, I have been lurking for months. I feel like I know so many of you. I always felt that I woulda, shoulda, coulda joined in earlier, but I was prioritizing quality time with Joe. I would have brought him around to the pc and y'all once dialysis began. We had attended an orientation at WellBound, and were going to go for self-dialysis at home. I was going to take state disability (approximately half pay for a limit of 6 weeks paid leave per year in California). Lots to share on the caregiving board when the time comes, if I am still welcome there.
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Caregiver to My Joe Stage 4/ESRD w/av fistula
US Merchant Marine, US Army, US Air Force Reservist, Original Scientologist/Sea Org (long retired)
"He always done his damndest" an Old West Epitaph Joe heard about and quoted. It fits Joe.
Spared the need for dialysis by the grace of God
End of Watch 04/15/2011
AguynamedKim
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« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2011, 06:02:36 AM »
abondanzamama, I am so increbily sorry for your loss.  It sounds like you got the right information and were doing the right things.  Joining or not isn't what was important at all - your time with Joe is what was important.  I'm glad the site was here to help answer your questions and hopefully provide a little hope and comfort.  Hopefully we be there for you now - you are always welcome here.  Allow me to start with a:  :grouphug;
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Pre-dialysis - Intro: http://ihatedialysis.com/forum/index.php?topic=20344.0
willowtreewren
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« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2011, 06:20:30 AM »
You will always be welcome here. In fact, during your emotional roller coaster, we are here to support you.

You need some  :grouphug; :grouphug; :grouphug; right now!

And since you already "know" us to a large extent, I'm glad we are getting the chance to learn more about you!  :waving;

 :welcomesign; :welcomesign; :welcomesign;

And more  :cuddle; :cuddle; :cuddle;

Aleta
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Wife to Carl, who has PKD.
Mother to Meagan, who has PKD.
Partner for NxStage HD August 2008 - February 2011.
Carl transplanted with cadaveric kidney, February 3, 2011. :)
peleroja
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« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2011, 10:10:21 AM »
You will always be welcome here.  Condolences on your loss  We are here for you if you need to vent or cry or whatever.  Please don't feel you have to leave. 
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Rerun
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« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2011, 10:20:46 AM »
Dear abondanzamama, like all the others have said, you are always welcome here.  I'm so glad you finally joined.  Joe sounds like a very smart man, and I think he probably knew to check out right before going on dialysis.  You have to admire him for that.  Although, leaving you was probably very hard on him.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  He is in a much better place.

Rerun, Moderator    :welcomesign;
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Darthvadar
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« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2011, 12:22:58 PM »
As others have said, the welcome here is always warm for any member of the kidney 'family', however connected!...

May your husband rest in peace...

I'm thinking of, and praying for you...

Love...

Darth....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
monrein
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« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2011, 01:29:46 PM »
So sorry for your loss  :grouphug;  and I would have liked to get to know Joe here also.  You are of course welcome here, any time and for whatever you  need. 
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Pyelonephritis (began at 8 mos old)
Home haemo 1980-1985 (self-cannulated with 15 gauge sharps)
Cadaveric transplant 1985
New upper-arm fistula April 2008
Uldall-Cook catheter inserted May 2008
Haemo-dialysis, self care unit June 2008
(2 1/2 hours X 5 weekly)
Self-cannulated, 15 gauge blunts, buttonholes.
Living donor transplant (sister-in law Kathy) Feb. 2009
First failed kidney transplant removed Apr.  2009
Second trx doing great so far...all lab values in normal ranges
carol1987
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« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2011, 01:34:46 PM »
Please accept my deepest sympathies..... may your Joe rest in peace and you find comfort an peace at this difficult time....  :grouphug;
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Diagnosed with  PKD July 2002 (no family history)
Fistula placed April 2009
Placed on Transplant list April 2009
Started HD 10/6/10
Transplanted 1/6/11 (Chain Transplant My altruistic donor was  "Becky from Chicago" , and DH Mike donated on my behalf and the chain continued...)
aharris2
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« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2011, 04:06:40 PM »
Abondanza, I am so sorry for your loss. As others have said, we are here for you at this awful time. I certainly do hope to see you in the future on the caregivers board and anywhere else you feel like posting.

R.I.P. Joe
 :grouphug;
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Life is like a box of chocolates...the more you eat the messier it gets - Epofriend

Epofriend - April 7, 1963 - May 24, 2013
My dear Rolando, I miss you so much!
Rest in peace my dear brother...
Cordelia
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« Reply #9 on: April 17, 2011, 04:08:15 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss :grouphug;
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Diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease at age 19.
Renal Failure at age 38 (2010) came about 2 hrs close to dying. Central line put in an emergency.
Began dialysis on Aug 15, 2010.
Creatine @ time of dialysis: 27. I almost died.
History of High Blood Pressure
I have Neuropathy and Plantar Fasciitis in My Feet
AV Fistula created in Nov. 2011, still buzzing well!
Transplanted in April, 2013. My husband and I participated in the Living Donor paired exchange program. I nicknamed my kidney "April"
Married 18 yrs,  Mom to 3 kids to twin daughters (One that has PKD)  and a high-functioning Autistic son
billmoria
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Living life to my max
« Reply #10 on: April 17, 2011, 06:31:14 PM »
May Joe rest in Peace!
I wish you all the best.
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WMoriarty
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« Reply #11 on: April 17, 2011, 10:35:14 PM »
I am sorry for your loss, your Joe sounds like he was a wonderful man-  :grouphug;

you are definitely welcome here! I look forward to hearong any stories about you two that you want to share!

Julie
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Jack A Adams July 2, 1957--Feb. 28, 2009
I will miss him- FOREVER

caregiver to Jack (he was on dialysis)
RCC
nephrectomy april13,2006
dialysis april 14,2006
looneytunes
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« Reply #12 on: April 18, 2011, 04:57:43 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss.  Your Joe sounds like a gem of a man.   :grouphug;
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"The key to being patient is having something to do in the meantime" AU
chook
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« Reply #13 on: April 18, 2011, 04:59:50 AM »
Am so sad for you. Please accept my sympathy. Wishing you strength and courage through this difficult time.  :grouphug;
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Diagnosed PKD 1967, age 8
Commenced PD June 2010
Commenced APD July 2010
Transplant March 2011 - so lucky!
"To strive, to seek, to find...and not to yield!"
billybags
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« Reply #14 on: April 18, 2011, 07:33:40 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Poppylicious
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« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2011, 10:36:12 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss, abondanzamama.  But welcome.  I'm pleased you've de-lurked.

*huggles*
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- wife of kidney recepient (10/2011) -
venting myself online since 2003 (personal blog)
grumbles of a dialysis wife-y (kidney blog)
sometimes i take pictures (me, on flickr)

Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt.
paris
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« Reply #16 on: April 29, 2011, 03:08:46 PM »
Oh, my heart aches as I read your introduction.  I wish I had met Joe. He sounds like a special guy.  I am so very sorry that you have lost him. Please keep posting and share your thoughts.  Other caregivers can learn from you, too.   When we share our sorrows, others can help us carry the load.  I am glad you introduced yourself and look forward to reading more posts from you.   

My deepest sympathy to you.   :cuddle;


paris, Moderator
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It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.
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