Working after transplant

[-Lady Noir-]

Mike was told that he could now return to the workforce, about 2 months ago..
He resigned from his job 18 months ago, and the owners of the buisness said they would hold his job. Unfortunately, they have sold.

He looks for jobs, sometimes, will not apply for any! [Says he can hardly read for long due to medication side affects] and just seems uninterested, though he says he wants to work.

Am i being too harsh in thinking he should apply for jobs? 

[Poppylicious]

Not too harsh no.  Apart from the reading for long periods does he give other reasons?  Is he worried nobody will employ him?  Nerves?  Worried about taking on a full-time position? Worrying about what will happen if it all goes pear-shaped? Or has he just got used to not working?!

Could he make a slow return?  Perhaps do some voluntary work for a few hours a week, maybe even go into your daughter's school and help out there.  Just something to get him used to having to be responsible for his time again. 

Sorry, that's probably something you've already talked about.

We've been very lucky; Blokey has continued to work full-time and talks about getting back to work asap after a transplant.  I can't imagine how he would feel if he'd had to stop working and then had to find his way back in months later.  It must be hard for both of you.

I hope he finds his Oompf soon.

*huggles*

[bette1]

I think it's very hard to go back to work if you've been ill for a long time and have not worked.  Also, everyone with a transplant is not in the best health.   Making that leap is very difficult and I understand.  How is his overall health?  Does he feel good most of the time?

[cariad]

I can relate to this and agree with everything that's already been said.

For me, this is very hard to talk about, so it may also be difficult for him to have an honest conversation with you. Volunteering to get back into some routine and feeling useful again may just be the way to ease back into it. It must be quite a blow to him that the job he thought he could just walk back into is gone. The drugs that I suspect he is on can really play with one's emotions, and that can be debilitating at times. Also, post-transplant can be much like pre-transplant in that he may have his good days and bad days physically. I wish I could explain myself better, but I really understand this problem of paralysis when it comes to work. It is hard to put yourself out there, and I don't know about New Zealand, but in America we hear all the time how it is such a terrible time to look for work.

Hugs to both of you. Keep talking to him, and see if you can find some solutions together.

[-Lady Noir-]

Thanks for the feedback guys.

He feels fine most of the time. The worst side affect is probably the eyesight, he can read for 10 minutes or so, and his hands are incredibly shaky.
He gets out in the garden quite a bit, mows the lawns, trims the hedge, washes the car, willing to go for a walk anytime, but just will not apply for a job. Maybe he thinks no-one will hire him? His work history before he resigned was brilliant. Hard worker since he left high school, worked 6 days a week, 13 hours a day, would basically do anything at his job, but he now feels as if there is ALOT he cannot do now hes had a transplant. To be fair, he is pretty unfit, hes slim, but will puff out pretty quickly, which is very normal for after all the surgery he has had over the last 2 years. And it wont take that much to get fitter will it?

I am very patient because it's not me in this situation directly. Hes been through so much, so i just basically let him live his own life. I encourage, but not push. It would be unfair of me to keep mentioning it to him. As some of you would know, nobody likes to feel pressured into anything, especially after the transplant. 

[RichardMEL]

I must have missed that Mike was having eyesight problems too? Due to the bloody preds??? Since this has started affecting me(or so it seems) I'm getting very annoyed as it IS impacting MY ability to work.

Anyway since I mentioned the "w" word and that's what this topis is about I'll get back onto it....

I feel I shouldn't really comment here because I am coming from a different perspective - because I worked right through being on dialysis and started back around 5-6 weeks post transplant, and have thus been working now for nearly 4 months with no real problems apart from this eyesight thing which has bugged me lately. I can read for more than 10 mins, but the cloudiness of vision is making it difficult to read the computer(which I do all day) let alone other things.

Does it seem like he's being lazy by not applying for work? Maybe it's more of a "can I do this?" psychological thing rather than a physical one. Having to give up his job 18 months ago must have been very difficult, and a huge hit to one's self-esteem and confidence. Maybe there's parts of him that feel if he tries to go back he might not be able to handle it and have to quit again so why go through all that again? Maybe he feels it's too soon, plus with the shaky hands and eyesight it would cause more problems that it's worth, and he might not want to go back to work any kind of job with those being issues he has to deal with (I can relate - I get the shakes every so often).

I guess at this point all you can do is support him since you can't force him. It's a difficult situation even though probably having the routine of a regular job (not to mention income) would be the best thing - specially to get over that prolonged downtime that dialysis gave him. Maybe looking for part time work or a volunteer position where he could be more flexible and not feel like he's taking on too much too soon might be a good idea.