how much sleeping?

[texasstyle]

I'm wondering how much sleeping does everyone need. Do most just take a nap after dialysis, sleep the whole D day? My husband sleeps most of the day everyday for the last few weeks. I think it's a little depression from winter and some other things too. What is your experince like? Is there anything you do to get you "motivated"? It seems at my house where are having a hard time even getting motivated. He's so tired, and his body over all seems so broken down. I wish there was something I could do. I'm feeling  some what pulled into the depression myself too at the moment. Always feellike I have to tip-toe around. I know..get myself out somewhere! lol but I don't have the motivation either this morning. Some words of encourgement sure would help!

[rsudock]

TexasStyle it is easy to be pulled down mentally with this disease...I am sorry you find yourself struggling along with the hubs. I don't know what to really tell you to do. I know some people say excersise or take sleeping pills. I found that I have tried to push myself to stay awake all day and then sleep all night. I was having some real trouble with insomnia but somehow it seems to be getting better. How about a sun lamp? I heard that is suppose to help with insomnia and depression.  I agree with you it is probably he's mental health that causes him to sleep so much. Even though it is understandable maybe you could try doing things together even in bed. For example when I am tired Aaron and I stay in bed and surf the internet together. We watch videos, listen to music, facebook....we found this new website called "StumbleUpon" brings up all these interesting website according to your likes and dislikes. Pretty hilarious stuff.....hang in there TS....thinking of you.

xo,
R

[BillSharp]

I don't think him being chronically tired and sleepy is unusual. Myself, I sleep about an hour during hemo, then a good 7 - 8 hours at night -- and I'm fatigued and tired most of the time. Of course, I am 72 years old and have been fighting CKD since I was 14.

[boswife]

It's not for everyone for sure but have you considered  home hemo??? (sorry i just dont remember) We have only been home now 2 months and  hubby is now running circles around me..  Im not kidding.  It's good, and bad..lol  He had gotton into the sleep mode as well after only a year and a half of dialysis.  WE were both in quite a slump and couldnt fight our way out of it.   It is quite a load on caregiver at first for sure, but it is so worth it when you see your life getting back to normal...  I loved my few hours of non cargiving when he went to the center, and i really liked where he went, but when he seemed so tired all the time, this is what we thought to try.  It's really hard being in your shoes TS.  I feel for ya.  The exhaustion is rediculous, mental and physical.  I feel better now though, and my mental is lots better.  Sending hugs, best wishes, and hope for something good for you...

[WishIKnew]

I sleep a lot but I do know that I sleep much more when I'm depressed and when it's dark and cold outside.  I recently started seeing a counselor and it is really helping me.  Just a place to unload all of my fears and fruatrations for an hour each week and not have to feel bad for dumpinmg it all on my friends and family.  It might help you and your husband to have someone like that.  He has also got me thinking forward and not backward, making plans, etc. 

Just an idea!!!!!  Hope tomorrow is a better day for you both!!!!!

[yliebert]

My husband naps every day, but never for more than 2 hours.  If yours is sleeping 24/7 I think you should speak with the Dr. about meds for depression
YL

[boswife]

Been thinking about you all day TS..  I dont really think my post was appropriate for what you were asking and i kind of felt bad about it.  I know that when hubby was at his worst, or even just bad off,  i could have in no way even thought about keeping him home for D.  And there are MANY reasons for that.  It is so hard when they're out of it, or not helping, or just so sick that it really wasnt even an option.  soooooooooo, i just want to send you hugs, and prayers, and all the well wishes for health and rest for you.  Im so afraid of 'being there' again and i fight it off with every thing in me to even emagine that we will once again have 'our' downs.  I just have no strength for that part of this disease and im so sorry that you are going through the hard parts.  I hope tomorrow brings you a better day, with better health, and lots of rest and peace...   

[RichardMEL]

TS hun sorry to say but I don't think you can apply "normal" (whatever that is anyway) dialysis "standards" to your husband. Remember he's non compliant in a number of ways, and increasing the toxins in his system, which he is doing by the junk he eats, the sessions he misses, the fluid he's carrying etc are ALL going to contribute to tiredness and need for sleep.

I'll answer anyway for my experience - usually washed out to varying degrees after D and would get home and have a cat nap (including cat ) for an hour or two when I'd get home. Next day I'd be fine and work a full day etc, walk/exercise, and so on. That's just me though. As others have said it can vary - some need to sleep a little bit every day(more than usual overnight sleep) and others are more OK.

Again I think Mike's situation is partly of his own doing and if he is depresssed and in ddnial then that doesn't help. I was motivated to get up to go to work - he's not working so he doesn't have to *be* anywhere so that doesn't help.

Didn't you post a few weeks back that he also wasn't sleeping much at night? Maybe that was something else?

I wonder if his labs are showing lower hb and so on which may be causing more severe anaemia which would also make him more tired?

If it was *me* I'd speak to the neph, or at least to his clinic... from what you've said this is a change over the past few weeks, and whenever there's such a notible change like that it should be investigated in my view.

Finally as others have said this is heartbreaking for you and dragging you into this black hole. *I* wish I knew what I could say or suggest or offer.

 

[texasstyle]

My daughter usues that STUMBLE web site and WE GOT A VIRUS FROM THERE. Please be careful with it like all sites.

[rsudock]

thanks Tstyle how r things?

[texasstyle]

today a little better, but I'm sure things will change again tomorrow. I hate the not being able to plan anything anymore. I feel like my day revolves around how he is. I hope that doesn't sound too cold but it is truth. If he's sleeping all day I try to be very quiet all day etc...

[Poppylicious]

I feel like my day revolves around how he is. I hope that doesn't sound too cold but it is truth. If he's sleeping all day I try to be very quiet all day etc...

That doesn't sound cold at all tx; it sounds normal to me ... 

Now that Blokey is getting far better dialysis with the fistula he isn't half as tired as he once was.  But then, he doesn't really have time to be tired.  He works full-time and then three times a week he goes straight from work to haemoD and then has a forty-five minute drive home.  He does sleep (fairly) well at night now that he takes clonazepam, which he was prescribed for his restless legs (and I've just looked it up and discovered that it's not what I thought it was!) Richard mentioned the motivation and I think that's a fair point; not only does Blokey have his job to concentrate on but he's always finding other things to concentrate on too, and they seem to get him through.  At the moment he's excited about his brand new car and counting the days down till he can pick it up.  Today he focused on the aquarium and he's thrown himself into helping his brother buy a second-hand car.  I've just realised that he has a lot more oompf than he used to have!  We need to think of some ways to get the oompf! back into your hubby, find something for him to focus on .... hmmm.

It probably is worth mentioning to someone, if possible.

*huggles*

[looneytunes]

TS..you are NOT cold and unfeeling.  If you were, you wouldn't be here at IHD trying to cope with all this. 

My hubby also has times he sleeps 14 to 18 hours a day.  It seems his need for sleep has a direct connection to his level of compliance.  When he has been bad (which is almost daily) he sleeps quite a bit more over the next few days and says he doesn't feel good.  When he has been good for a day or two, he seems to have more energy and less complaints.  But then he's bad again and the cycle goes on.  He says he thinks part of his problem is the winter and since he gets SO cold now (he never used to even wear a coat) he doesn't want to be outside because he freezes.   

In our case, as far as motivation goes, during his last hospital stay (November) I told him that if he was not able to help take care of the cattle this year, they have to go.  I think that was a great motivator since a farm without cattle is not worth having to him.  So, this winter, he has been helping more than he did the year before.  There are still days I have had to go it alone, but not near like it was the winter before.  But, I know he has really been pushing himself to try and be more active.   Now that the weather is getting warmer, he is getting out a little more though he is very tired afterwards. 

Just keep taking care of yourself and don't be hard on YOU.  The feelings you have are normal to all of us.  Sending you lots of hugs!   

[texasstyle]

Poppy, but remember what our "normal" is lol. Looney, ou rhusbands are so much alike. I think they're brothers from a different mother lol. Mike is cold all the time now too. You really have cattle? Wow! You must putting up a video of you lasoing them! lol. Seriously, that must be hard work.

[looneytunes]

TS...yes, they DO sound much alike!    I read your posts and sometimes it sounds like you are in my house.      And, yes, we do have cattle.  We don't rope them though.  Just herd them, normally from the seat of a 4-wheeler into the corral or a feed pen.   But, yes, it is a lot of work.  It'll either make me old before my time or keep me young from being so active.    

We caregivers all have our thoughts and sometimes actions/words that make us feel like we are cold, unfeeling bi#@hes.  But, I don't believe that andy of us would be where we are if we really were cold and unfeeling.  I have my times that I SO resent this whole thing and struggle to beat back the negative thoughts.  I wanted life to be about "us", not just about "him".   Don't you think that a little of our feelings come from being helpless to change things or make him "better"?   

[billybags]

Tex, I wish I could help, but I am going through the same thing at the moment. Hubby had heart attack 4 weeks ago, he is no further forward.He has chronic pain in his knee and does not sleep at night, they will not operate because of his heart. Had to rush him in hospital last Saturday night, chronic stomach pains as-well, he now has ulcers and needs a colonascopy, probably due to all the frigging pills he takes. He is so tired all the while, I know where you are coming from, mine does not sleep at night, hooked up to machine, gets up does his shaving stuff has a little breakfast and then drops to sleep in the chair and this is him on and off all day. I feel awful because it is a slow job at his age getting over a heart attack but it seems like one step forward and 10 back, so I really sympathize with you. We should get together, I love reading and I escape for half an hour to the charity shop and look at books. I like you go around trying not to make noise.When I feel like SCREAMINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG This decease has got a lot to answer for. I really do hate dialysis for what our loved ones go through and what us carers go through. Thinking about you both, when I am not doing any thing if you know what I mean.

[texasstyle]

Hey Billy, how about you & I  (and anyone else who needs it) let out a big, long, loud, giant scream together? You see, I have the greatest idea. We can go out to Looneytunes cattle pasture and doit there. Looney won't have to drive the cattle in that day becuase scream will do it for her! lol. Everyone's happy in the end. (that tip toeing is crazy.I feel what you mean)

[billybags]

Tex, that sounds good to me, pity looney does not have a winery, I am getting to love wine.It relaxes me. Excuse me while I have a quick tipple.

[looneytunes]

Oh... Looney may not have a winery but she has a very large wine rack with very few open spots.  You are all welcome to come and help me create more open spots but I have to warn you...I can fill them back up pretty quick!     And...the cows would love being screamed in.  If they see my pickup headed to the barn, they come running!  Any and all of you...come right on!  That would be a day to remember. 

[texasstyle]

Looney: growing up my Uncle had a bull and in New Jersey, well youj ust don't see that around. We were not aloud near that fence though. So of course one day we had to go upto it. That big bull saw and a came chargin'! They are huge! My cousin from that house now has a cattle ranch in Oklahoma. That kind of thing is not comon around my parts. I'll never know what inspired him to start doing that but apperently he likes it.

[ODAT]

Mom sleeps when she gets home from dialysis for about an hour. The days she doesn't have dialysis and is home all day, she may take three or four one hour naps. She says she'll just be sitting there watching tv and the next thing you know it's past lunch or supper time. It's very disorienting for her sometimes. She won't know if it's early morning or late at night.

She told me she likes to sleep because it's the only time she's not in pain.
 

[texasstyle]

ODAT: that sounds so sad. Like sleeping cause she's not in pain.. *hugs*