Wits end

[vcarmody]

I know looneytunes, It's so hard.  I just look around his recliner area and there is mixed nuts, marshmallows, M & M's, Rasinetts, pork rinds, beef jerky and lots of other candy.  I try and bite my tongue to.  It would be so much easier if he would keep the junk somewhere else and have to ask for it, out of site out of mind.  It's hard for me to, I am trying so hard to stay away from junk food and it seems to be everywhere in this house.  Glad I have pretty good will power most times.  He has cut back quite a bit, but a little more and I know he would melt weight off like ice in the sun.  I'm not pushing him.  After taking a day off yesterday he was right on his dry weight, I told him I'm sure we can off 2 with no problem because he has lost weight (I can see it in his abdominal area), he was afraid to go for that much so we are only taking off 1.5.  Hopefully when he realizes he IS losing weight he will be motivated to try harder!  Oh, and his biopsy was fine no cancer, so that is a big relief.

[murf]

I am no psychologist, but it seems to me that he is in a state of denial. From what I have read, anger comes next followed by acceptance. He may need professional help but in the meantime, there is plenty of reading material on the issue.

[looneytunes]

VC...I got a big grin out of your description of "his recliner" area.  It sounds SO much like my hubby's recliner in our living room.     

[karrye]

Vcarmody:

Believe me when I say, I know how you are feeling 100%! I read your post and was wondering why someone would almost copy my post word for word almost.  No, I know you didn't girl, but if you have read my post "Caregiver and hating it!", you will see our post are almost identical and I am quite sure that there are a number on here that are 'identical' as well.

I found out that Lee was over medicated that led to alot of his problems, but like your husband, Lee does what Lee wants.  He eats and drinks what he likes and regardless of the problems to leads to, he still lives the life he was raised with. 

Lee was a huge man too, but so far, he is loosing weight like no tomorrow and from what I read, you hubby is a diabetic.  Lee is as well, plus he had a bout with colon cancer/chemo, huge bsl and bp problems.  So, the odds for my husband getting on a list is zero to none.  Pretty bleak odds.  Maybe it will take a 'wake up' call in order for him to see what he is doing to himself.  It sounds like he is on the cruise ship "Denial" and deciding he likes sailing on her.  Well, when "Denial" hits the iceberg "Reality", I do think you will see a major turnaround, but it takes time.  OTOH, he might just decide enough is enough and is going with the flow.

Grats on putting your foot down!! Very proud of you in that regard.  Since Lee is becoming more 'himself' as the days go by, I have been being more forthwith on some of his food choices and exercises.  He takes it with a grain of salt, but he is coming to see, that sometimes I am right...abet about 100% of the time, but I let him have his delusion that he is!  LOL

Hang in there.  You have hundreds of friends on here to lend out a shoulder or ear as need be.  Be strong and don't give in!! Its hard, but we women have to all stick together and keep our men folk in line, especially RichardMel....hehehhehehe Sorry RichardMel, I get the feeling you love being 'picked' on....lol

Take care of yourself, first and foremost, and let the rest fall in line as need be.  Prayers to you my sister in arms.

[chatrbee2]

NO advise, just my sympathies it sucks when you feel on a sinking ship.  My father doesn't help much but he doesn't understand what they want from him and what he needs and it is left to my mother and I and quite frankly I admit I don't "get it"  I do the best I can and I try to help as much as possible but his center and hospital are no help at all with me figuring out what to do.