Offers of Donating a kidney

[Cordelia]

Has anyone here had someone close to you, i.e. family member or friend who offered you a kidney when you went into renal failure and then after awhile backed out for any reason after offering the kidney to you- whether by their choice or by doctor's recommendation? If so, how did it make you feel?

[rsudock]

this happen to a close friend of mine. a stranger offered my friend's husband a kidney. he was on dialysis a year prior to the offer. as they were going through the transplant testing he kept having to jump through different hoops. ie-had to get both native kidneys out, some tumor in his throat removed, and then they told him he would have to get a pacemaker put in. that is where he drew the line and said "no once i get a new kidney my heart will recover." after 3 years of this they finally got to the point of surgery and the donor said , "sorry too much time had past." they were sad but just chalked it up to it wasn't God's will...he has since had a cadaveric transplant and is fine.

[Cordelia]

I'm really glad that he was able to get a transplant and is okay, thanks for sharing your story with me

[Rerun]

No one in my family has ever offered, and two friends have but have not been tested.  I say to them "no, I don't want you to donate'....  But if I were them and really wanted to I would do it anyway to show I was serious.

Right?

[Riki]

A friend offered me a kidney before Christmas, but she hasn't said anything about it since.  She has bronchitis, so I'm thinking that she'd probably be denied as a donor anyway.

I asked my brother and he turned me down flat.  My mother thinks he'd still do it if I was really sick, but I don't think he would.  That's his choice.  I was mad at first, but there was no real point to dwelling on it.

[paul.karen]

I think it is easy to say you would donate a kidney.  Many people may say it thinking nothing will come of it.  They say it (maybe) to look good or look like a hero.  If they are serious they will bring it up again and again i would assume asking lots of questions.  If not serious after the inital i will donate they never bring it up again.

Everyone wants to be a hero or look like one.  But a real hero is the one who follows through with the offer.  And gets upset if for a medical or other reason cant donate.

We need more heros............

[carla13]

This has been an issue that has come up more than once I believe. My brother offered but backed out pretty much after the first blood test. I think people often offer without thinking the process through thoroughly. As soon as the first tests start and they experience the dreadful reality of hospital treatments (that we know Oh too well!) they become scared.

It's a hard thing to have your cosy world interrupted by the sudden realisation of your own mortality and I think that a lot of people simpl ydon't want to deal with it. And who can blame them? If we had the option - wouldn't we?

Unfortunately we have to deal with it on  a daily basis...

[Cordelia]

Omigod, I see what you all are saying, I very much agree with you all!  No one warned me what kind of a rollercoaster ride of emotions this would be!!

[Chris]

I have seen a post on here awhile back that has had this situation. When the sister finaaly agreed to do it, she put stipulations such as pay for the money she will loose off work, pay for a home health nurse, blah, blah, blah. I'm sure there have been other post about this topic, but are a few years old.
 
My dad flat out refused even before I thought about transplant and that's the clean version of what he said. Mother couldn't do to different blood type and paired donation was not available and I needed/wanted the pancreas too to kill 2 birds with one stone after I found out that was possible.

[Cordelia]

I'm so sorry your Dad right flat out refused.

[Chris]

Eh,
We are not a normal family, not even one of those so called nuclear families.

[Cordelia]

I know what you mean Chris, I understand completely

[mike22]

I'm in a situation like this with my cousin. When i first told her I'm going back to dialysis, she quickly said she want to do it. I didnt ask or hint she want to. She even mention that she would bug me until i let her do it. So she called them and they told her they want her within a weight range. I guess i kinda gave up on her. But everytime  we talk she always bring it up and how she is losing weight. I saw her this summer and she did look slimmer. I've been talking to her recently and she still  talks about donate and her weight. They wanted her between 180 and 216 pounds. She says she is at 216 pounds but want to slim so more. So, i think she is serious. I do have one concern and it is her edema caused by a thyroid problem

[Chris]

The transplant center should be aware of that and address your and her concerns along with theirs.