Anniversary of my Fistula

This was my reply to a woman who's husband had a hematoma after a dialysis session and was experiencing pain and swelling and someone mentioned that techs were human.

Nobody is perfect and techs are human. You need to find out what woks for you and find out as much as you can on the process that is best to save the life of you access.

I have had all sorts of problems with techs sticking me. First it is an unnatural process and a man made life line that the body is trying to reject. Fast and heavy blood flows on a manmade vein I have had a lot of infiltrations and it doesn't matter who the tech has been. One tech actually told me I was the most difficult person he had ever stuck and it became so bad that several techs refused to stick me and they were afraid of me. There are many patients that have had their access messed up over time, many have had surgeries and I see some pretty bad scarred and mutilated arm and people who access has been blown out redone or destroyed all together where the chest cath had to be re inserted. The pseudo aneurysms (large bumps) freak me out. Every three months I go to the Vein Clinic where I have had procedures and surgeries an angioplasty to keep my access healthy and clean. I use to resist this but I am happy to go.
What I have learned is you need to be in control of the health of your access and even the way the techs stick you. I have been asked about button holes and self cannulation and home dialysis and I am satisfied with staying at the clinic I am at because it is convenient for me within walking distance from my house. I do not and cannot look at the techs sticking me and with a pencil in my mouth to bite on I turn my head away, I just can't look at the size of those 15 gauge needles being inserted in my arm. No way I am going to stick myself. Lidocaine is out because the clinic and doctor has told me it destroys the access area and in my opinion how would you know they have done something wrong if you can't feel it.
I do know after time how I need to be stuck and I demand each and ever tech do it right. Shallow and horizontal and a bit to the left and not where the nerve rides and if they do it wrong I will moan and scream. I don't care about my reputation and what the tech thinks you know your arm and what is best for you and you need to figure it out and demand that they do it right. It is the only way you are going to save the life of your fistula.

After I told the dietitian that this was the anniversary of my fistula surgery she asked me if this was the first one as a matter a fact as if it has worn out before. I told her that was rather ominous and she replied well they don't last forever. I told her don't you think that is left up to me. Well maybe, but they can last for awhile but in time they just wear out. This got me a little depressed. Is this what I am looking forward to. There is one patients arm who has been long term and he looks like Frankenstein and obviously I don't want to look like him and I have done my own research and have sought as much information as possible so this does not happen to me. Very scary none-the-less. The faster this nightmare is over the better.
So anyone have some experience on this subject?
Larryg

Edited: Moved to proper section - okarol/admin