It's been a rough few days

[del]

Hubby has been very depressed and anxious for about the past week (much more so than usual!!)  He is always very concerned about his health9 sometimes tot he extreme) and takes really good care of himself.  It all came to a head a couple of days ago.  He had to have day surgery on Monday to have a polyp removed from his bladder and he was scared to death of having it done - no cut or anything for it just done with a scope.  He had a fair bit of bleeding after which is common especially for a dialysis patient because you can't flush your bladder out if you don't pee.  He got a bit concerned on Tues and called the surgeon who did it - he said it was perfectly normal and to drink lots to flush it out.  Hubby hasn't peed in 10 years!!  He told the surgeon if he did that he would blow up like a balloon and the water wouldn't make it to his bladder LOL!!  He called his dialysis nurse then because he was really concerned with using heparin with the bleeding. She told him not to give himself any bolus and to do saline flushes during the treatment instead of using heparin.  He is doing short daily (4 hr) treatments for a while until he can go back to heparin. 

The bleeding has really slowed down -almost stopped (only when he sits on the toilet anyway - not running out of him!!)  He is a worry wort and worries about everything and it has really gotten to him. He worries about dialysis, the bleeding, me leaving him because he is feeling like this ( I'm not going anywhere - I'm here for the long haul!!) He has broken down and cried several times in the past week or so. he is on meds and the family doc gave him ativan yesterday as well to calm him down. He is hooked up now and has about 2 and a half hours left and having a nap.  Of course his blood pressure is up now as well because of the stress and he is worrying about that as well.  It has gone down some since yesterday though!!   He was too scared to come home last night from the town (1 hour drive from us) where his doc and the hospital is because of the bleeding and we were having a snow storm so we stayed there in a hotel last night.  We came home this morning and he is feeling a lot better.

He is doing a LOT better today but I am really worried about him.  Hopefully I won't get too stressed out!!  At a couple points yesterday we were both crying!!!

[looneytunes]

Oh Del, I do hope things are on the upswing for you and Hubby now.  As a caregiver, I can only imagine the thoughts that our guys must have.  Sometimes they share them and other times they might not.  But it sounds like your hubby is getting close to having a breakdown or at the least, some type of anxiety issue.  Maybe the docs need to consider changing his meds for this to something different or stronger.  And my heart goes out to you for being there for him.  It's sure not an easy ride, is it?  Many hugs to you my friend.             

[okarol]

  BIG HUGS! Hope he's doing better. Love you guys!

[billybags]

Del, I hope things are a little better for you both to-day. Having kidney failure is sh** enough with out having to have other operations for different things. I go in panic mode if things are not going right for my husband. It is so frustrating. It is so stressful and I am not the patient. When I read your post I wanted to cry with you but to-morrow is another day. When I get up in a morning I always say "LET THE STRESS BEGIN". Thinking of you both.

[monrein]

Big hugs to both of you Del.     I think the stress can creep up on us and make a sneak attack when our defenses are at their lowest.  Even little surgical procedures can trigger the stress...as for the crying it's not so bad since we supposedly release harmful toxins through the tears but that's only so long as the streaming does eventually stop.
Hope Walt feels better soon and you can both get back to your more familiar routine.   

[del]

He is feeling much better today!!  No tears from either of us!! 

[monrein]

   so glad to hear this.

[Poppylicious]

I actually DID cry when I read this post. I'm a soppy wee thing (I'm highly emotional, but thread posts NEVER usually make me tearful.) It's horrid to see the person you love feel so down.

I'm so glad that things have perked up.  Bless you both!

*huggles*

[rsudock]

 

[boswife]

Oh Del, im so glad to be reading this now when things are looking upward.  It brought me to tears as well and even set me into a bit of a downward spin before reading things are looking better.  The dearness of our partners is behond compare and is the most painful thing i've ever experienced when mine is down.  I pray that today is even better for the both of you and that your given the strength to pick up and go on with a healthy outlook.  Bless you Del. 

[del]

Along with all the other things that are going on in his life I really think he has SADS (seasonal affective disorder)  I am very tempted to buy one of those light therapy lamps for us.  He gets depressed every winter but this spurt has been worse than normal!!   He is a worrier too and every little thing seems to  be something to worry about evn though he knows worrying is not going to change anything.  2010 was a very difficult year for him - his mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and had to go to a nursing home, him and his sister ere on the outs because of that ( seems to be a bit better there now) , we have had terrible weather, he had food poisoning over Christmas , had the surgery to have a bladder polyp removed and even though the doc said he didn't think it was anything to be worried about because he thinks it was just scar tissue it has to be checked for cancer cells.  Hopefully 2011 wil be a bit better. He did say this morning before he hooked up to dialysis that he is feeling a lot better!!  I really thought Tuesday that I was going to have to take him to the hospital and have him admitted because of the way he was feeling. 

Thanks for all the kind words!!    It is very much appreciated.