So sad!

[cariad]

This probably will not sound like a big deal to many, but I feel devastated right now. I phoned my GP's office to get DEXA scan results and his wife answered and after checking for the results told me that he has sold his practice and will see his last patients at the end of the month. I have mentioned this doctor repeatedly on here because I have always felt so lucky to have been randomly assigned to him by insurance. I am in tears over this, which is pathetic, but there you go. As I said to Gwyn, I hate going to the doctor, I have bad memories and bad experiences that haunt me even today, and yet this doctor made the intolerable tolerable. I feel like Laura at the end of The Glass Menagerie "You - won't - call again?"(a reference that may not resonate with anyone else here, but I was obsessed with the play from a young age).

His wife said it all happened really fast, and that he has an opportunity that never falls to "people like him" (her words, no idea). He will be a medical director with an insurance company or medicare, I was not clear on which, but I just wanted to ask him "So, why are you going over to the dark side, exactly?" From what I can tell, he won't be one of those directors that says yes or no to a procedure, so at least he has not sold his soul outright. Obviously, I wished them both the best and hope it works out for them. It certainly could not have happened to a nicer, more compassionate doctor. Still, I sit here positively gutted, and at the same time feeling silly for having this reaction.

[natnnnat]

Doesn't sound silly to me: this is a person who you have known a long time, in sometimes difficult circumstances, who you can trust and turn to when you need help.  Finding someone you can communicate with is hard to do on any walk of life, let alone one who can also help you manage your health.  And it takes time to "train up" a new doctor.

[YLGuy]

I am so sorry.  I do understand. 

[Rerun]

I'm so sorry you are losing someone you trust.  I hope he can recommend someone just as good.

                     

[Darthvadar]

I fully understand, Cariad....

I've been in your situation.... My previous GP was a gem, and I still miss her two years later.... I have a really nice GP now, but he's just not Hazel...

Below is a review I wrote about Hazel on a profesional site... You'll understand the sentiment.....

I hope you get a really great doctor...

God bless...

Darth....

I was a patient of Hazel's for many years... I have nothing but praise for her... Petite in stature, but with the biggest heart you'll find in any healthcare professional!...

Hazel is one of this world's givers... Generously giving of her time, her professional advice and assistance, and herself... Nothing is ever too much trouble to her in the care of her patients... I cannot speak highly enough of her...

I have a disability, and am a wheelchair user.. It can be very difficult to get a GP who takes the time and trouble to truly empathise, and understand their patient... When that patient presents with a significant , and very rare disability, and multiple complex conditions associated with it, that difficulty becomes almost an impossibility... Hazel never once made any issue of the extra time, and effort required to treat me... Any aditional effort was just swept under the rug with a wave of her hand, a huge smile, and a comment such as "It was nothing"...

Sadly, when Hazel moved on from my GP's surgery, I wasn't in a position to go with her... (transport issues)... I miss her terribly, and I wish to extend my heartfelt gratitude to her for many years of wonderful care...

This lady is one in a million... There are very few people who could be considered as born healers, Hazel is one such person... Speaking from my experience, I very highly reccomend her to others who are searching for an excellent doctor, with a wicked sense of humour, and a heart of pure gold...

Hazel, I wish you all the very best... Being your paitent has been a real pleasure...

C...

[okarol]

  Good doctor's are a Godsend and losing one without being given a choice is tough!

[monrein]

Cariad, I totally understand your reaction and will feel the same way the day my neph tells me he's retiring.  Those of us lucky enough to have found really good medical professionals understand because we've usually had to deal with the truly awful as well.  I hope you'll be lucky again.   

[chris73]

Its great to have a GP or any Dr that you look forward to going to see.I too lost my neph 2yrs ago that called me at home to make sure my blood pressure was normal  and how i was doing after he made a medicine change.When he left his practice it seems like i had lost a best friend.Hope you find one that makes you feel comfortable as the one you lost.Not a silly reaction at all,just too bad everyone dont have a bond like that with their DR.

[cariad]

You all are the best!

Oh, Darth, I cried when I read your review of Hazel. It hits the mark perfectly. I remember the first day I met my doctor, I was so fed up with the medical care I had been receiving that I was just a witch to everyone in that office. The nurse asked me what meds I was on and I actually said "There's a lot. It would be easier if I just wrote them on the chart myself." I'll never forget the look on her face as she handed the clipboard over to me. When the doctor came in I told him that what I really needed was a nephrologist and I was only here because insurance was making me get a referral from him. I was expecting to be politely shown the door, but he listened to my story about one of the local hospitals and then said "That's why I don't work for them." He then suggested I come back to see him in a month when a lesser doctor would have said "Here's your referral. Good luck."

Nat, it does take time to educate them, doesn't it? I like my doctors exceedingly mellow (I can work myself up into a frenzy, thanks!) and willing to take advice such as "let's prescribe me this drug, shall we?" and it certainly does not hurt if they are willing to listen to me dish on other doctors.

Thanks, Marc. It helps to hear that others get it, and I know you do.

Thanks, Rerun. According to his wife, he is trying to match up all of his patients with doctors that he feels will be a good fit. In a weird way, it's a bit exciting, as if I'll finally learn what he really thinks of me.

Thanks for the support, Karol. Godsend is right. He came into my life when I needed a doctor like him most. I honestly believe I would still be ignoring my health, careening toward one heck of a crash, if it weren't for him.

Monrein, I always appreciate hearing that you can relate. I hope that day when you say goodbye to your nephrologist is a long way off.

Chris, I said the same thing to my husband, that it was like losing a friend. I keep saying that I feel like someone died or broke up with me.

Well, Gwyn and I go to our last appointment with him tomorrow morning. I doubt I'll ever see him again after, because although we've known him over six years, we have not once run into him on the streets. I'll let you know how it all goes. There's always a medical issue that either one of us could discuss, but in all honesty, we totally made this appointment just to have a chance to say goodbye.

A million thanks! 

[cariad]

 

He's gone. I'm heartbroken.

He spent an hour chatting with us this morning. Some of it was actually medical. He was explaining his new job to us (working as Medical Director for a private company that sells a Medicare Advantage) and right in the middle of how excited he was about this new opportunity, he suddenly said "It will be a lot less joyous without the two of you." Gwyn and I both started to tear up. He also said he hoped to run into us again, but I already told you the likelihood of that. I hope I can find him in a few years, wherever I am, wherever he is, and at least send him the journal article about the trial.

I mentioned how mean I was at our first ever encounter and he said "That's OK" before I could even apologise. I said I did not expect to be invited back. Then he said "I can usually filter out those who act that way because they're like that all the time, and those who are like that because they're angry." At the end, he gave me a hug.

He is going to phone to discuss referrals and tests for me. He said he really wants to place me with a few different people who can coordinate all in one centre. I hope I like them. Gwyn and I want to get him and his wife a thank you gift and card. The card is easy, but I have no idea what to give him. They don't drink (and he's South African - how can this be?) so there goes our favorite present. His staff says he likes chocolate, but that seems kind of lame, especially because that is what the staff is getting him. I was thinking maybe I would get him that anthology of headlines from The Onion, might appeal to his sense of humour. Or there are two beautiful coffee table books from South Africa (Shack Chic and Mud Chic). I have wanted them for myself for ages, but perhaps I could order them for him. I just don't know.

I feel subdued tonight. Nothing is really capturing my attention. My heart is heavy. I guess I'm in mourning, but I'll be OK.

[paris]

Anyone who references The Glass Menagerie is speaking my language.    I also understand.  I put so much confidence in my doctor that I can't imaging starting that relationship over again.  He knows about my life outside of the renal world and we talk about that more than the medical stuff.    I am sorry your's left so suddenly.  We will all hope you get a good doctor that you can relate to, but it won't be the same.   Go ahead and grieve.   

[YLGuy]

There is nothing I could say to make you feel better.   

[Des]

They don't drink (and he's South African - how can this be?) so there goes our favorite present.ng .

Not all South Africans  drink (we don't)

So sorry to here that he is leaving. It can be a very long time before you get used  to a new doc.
I would not buy him books on SA - he knows SA already. I saw the most beautiful framed thankyou "collage" with a picture and pressed flowers in my docs office. It had a beautiful thankyou poem as well. He place it in the middle of his wall......

Maybe you can do something like that.

[cariad]

Haha, Paris, it's so nice to know that there are at least two of us here who speak fluent Tennessee Williams. Thanks for the understanding. It's going to be weird the next time we need a GP. Just this morning my four-year-old was complaining about his eye bothering him and for a moment I thought "Well, I can just pop over to Dr.... oh, wait."

Marc, you DID make me feel better, just by letting me know that you read this and you understand. Thanks.

Des, I'm so glad you found my little joke funny and not offensive. I'm sure somewhere there are even Welsh people who don't drink, though I have never met one....  I love your idea of some sort of thank-you art. My older son is quite the artist, and then we could  involve the kids in the gift. Thanks for the idea!

We have also decided to get him a few Welsh gifts for a bit of humour. Since he and Gwyn often talk sports, we are going to get him a Welsh rugby shirt and a cheesy Tom Jones cd for his wife. (Tom Jones is Welsh and his music is a classic Welsh gag gift.)

I am feeling much better today, and ready to move on and meet the new guy or gal. Thanks again for all of the support and best wishes.

[Darthvadar]

Hey Cariad...

Believe it or not... Shock, horror... There are even Irish people who don't drink!!!!...

I know, I know.... A sober Irishwoman... I'm a disgrace to my nationality!...

Darth...

[cariad]

Hey Cariad...

Believe it or not... Shock, horror... There are even Irish people who don't drink!!!!...

I know, I know.... A sober Irishwoman... I'm a disgrace to my nationality!...

Darth...

 

You'll have to prove it, Darth. OK, I'm just going to leave these two pints of freshly poured Guinness right here....  

[Darthvadar]

Careful Cariad... Dougal loves Guinness!...... ... And YOU can wash his face afterwards... Getting booze out of his whiskers is VERY messy!... 

[cariad]

  Oh, dear! Much as I'd love to see that fuzzy face with a splash of Guinness foam, I think I'll just feed the pints to Gwyn. I (usually) won't have to clean him up after.

[Darthvadar]

Cariad....

Trouble with Dougal when he has a few drinks on him is his balance... When he needs a pee and lifts a leg, he just falls over!... 

[paris]

These posts have me truly laughing out loud!  You all are too funny today.

[Darthvadar]

These posts have me truly laughing out loud!  You all are too funny today.

Paris, it's even funnier when I have to prop the drunken dog up when he needs to pee... When he lifts the leg, and falls over on his back, there's a mini fountain because he forgets to stop peeing when he's on his back!!!... Oh boy!..... NOT a pretty sight... Thank God for baby wipes!!!!.....

[cariad]

Paris, it's even funnier when I have to prop the drunken dog up when he needs to pee... When he lifts the leg, and falls over on his back, there's a mini fountain because he forgets to stop peeing when he's on his back!!!... Oh boy!..... NOT a pretty sight... Thank God for baby wipes!!!!.....

What a sight that must be, the two of you! It all sounds so cute. Also revolting - but mostly cute.

Now, I do have to wonder who has such a grudge against you that they are slipping your Dougal Guinness. Or do you keep it on hand just as a treat for him?