'Nothing could be better'

[okarol]

Sunday, June 20, 2010

News Columnists / Michael Platt
'Nothing could be better'

By MICHAEL Platt, Calgary Sun

Some can expect neckties, a few might anticipate breakfast in bed, possibly even a card.

Brian Stewart knows exactly what he’s getting for Father’s Day this year — it’s a gift he’s literally dying to receive.

On June 23, Stewart will join his 30-year-old daughter Stephanie Stewart under a surgeon’s blade, and hours later, he’ll emerge with fresh stitches and a new kidney.

It’s a gift of pure love from a daughter who obviously cherishes her dad.

Nobody has to remind Brian.

“I agree one hundred per cent — there’s no greater gift a daughter could give her father,” said Brian, a 61-year-old diabetic.

“Nothing could be better.”

A life-long diabetic, Brian had managed to control his disease while leading an active life with his wife Linda — together, they adopted five kids and foster many more.

They travelled, played sports and kept very busy, Brian working as an appliance salesman.

But six years ago, Brian’s health started to fail under the ravages of diabetes and it became apparent a donor would eventually be needed if he hoped for a life independent of machines.

“My kidneys were losing about 10 per cent of their function each year,” he said.

Last August, his ailing kidneys finally gave up.

He’s now kept alive by a dialysis machine, which cleans his blood three times a week in five-hour sessions at Peter Lougheed hospital.

A modern medical miracle is keeping him alive, but an even more impressive act of Hippocratic wizardry will see Stephanie’s donated kidney doing the work currently performed by the hospital’s blood-cleaning device.

If the surgery is a success, Brian can expect to get his life back — no more planning his existence around tedious hospital trips, or feeling tired and listless.

“They tell me things will be pretty close to normal,” said Brian.

He says the day Stephanie announced her intent to give him her kidney wasn’t so much a surprise, as confirmation that his generous little girl had grown into a caring woman.

And he never tried to convince her it was too risky, or too big a sacrifice — Brian says his daughter wouldn’t have listened anyway.

“She’s always been generous, since she was little, so doing this wasn’t out of character at all,” said Brian.

“I was just very proud of her and very thankful.”

He says his daughter’s decision, combined with Stephanie’s need to lose weight before the surgery, has made the months leading up to the donation more difficult for her.

“She’s done a lot more than I have,” said Brian.

“I think the hardest part for Stephanie was going through this alone, so far away from me and her family.”

Now Stephanie is back from Toronto and both Stewarts are focused on making the transplant a success.

Brian says there a few jitters, but high hopes.

“I’m a bit nervous, but from what I’ve been told, these things are generally a success,” he said.

“I’m feeling fairly confident things will work out.”

As he lies in bed recovering, Brian knows he’ll have a big problem to solve — how to make it up to Stephanie.

“What she’s doing for me is amazing,” he said.

“I’m going to have a pretty tough time this year choosing what to get her for a Christmas present.”

Chances are, a healthy, happy father will be gift enough.

— Michael Platt

http://www.calgarysun.com/news/columnists/michael_platt/2010/06/20/14452881.html

[okarol]

News Columnists / Michael Platt
Father-daughter well matched

By Michael Platt, Calgary Sun

Last Updated: June 19, 2010 11:52pm

Stephanie Stewart will never see the gift she’s giving her father this week — she only hopes he sees the benefit of what may be the greatest present a daughter can give her dad.

On June 23, just after Father’s Day, Stephanie is scheduled to join her 61-year-old dad Brian in a Calgary operating room, where anesthesiologists will place both patients in a deep sleep.

Surgeons will then remove a kidney from the 30-year-old woman and transplant it in the father, who lost the use of his blood-filtering organs to diabetes.

When the dad and daughter awake after the five-hour dual operation, they’ll probably both feel worse for wear — but Stephanie knows her heart, at least, will never feel better.

“I’m doing it because I want to see him back like he was before, able to do the things he likes to do,” said Stephanie.

“He used to umpire softball, he used to curl a lot and travel with my mom — and I’d like to see him to feel well enough to go and see my niece and nephew play hockey, without being run down and tired.

“I just want to give him a little bit of his life back.”

In a perfect world, it’d be a perfectly simple decision — but like any gift worth giving, a kidney for her dad meant significant sacrifice for Stephanie.

A book publisher now living in Toronto, Stephanie laboured over the idea of giving her father the kidney he needs to get off dialysis, but her doubt wasn’t out of fear or any concern over having one kidney left.

She wondered if she had the willpower to save her dad.

To give up a 150-gram internal organ, Stephanie would first have to shed more than a quarter of her own body weight: As a heavier woman, she didn’t have a low enough body mass index to qualify as a donor.

She knew the day her dad would need a new organ would come as long as six years ago, when Brian started seriously struggling with his life-long diabetes.

As her dad grew more ill and the need for a kidney donor reached a critical stage, Stephanie decided to change her life, to change her father’s.

“It took me a good 3 1/2 years to decide to go through with the donation because I had to lose a significant amount of weight to do it,” Stephanie said.

“It was last year when I was back for Christmas, I finally decided — when I called to say I was ready to donate, they said, ‘we closed your file, because you said nothing for so long.’ ”

They confirmed there was still an obstacle with Stephanie’s weight: At 217 lbs., donation was considered too dangerous, with too many potential complications.

And so, the now-determined daughter hit the gym.

“I walked down the street, reactivated my gym membership and got a personal trainer and I lost 65 pounds,” she said.

The next stage for Stephanie was a battery of tests, to determine if she was compatible.

Stephanie is adopted, but with kidneys, being genetic kin only lowers the chance of rejection and the need for immunosuppressive drugs.

What’s more important is blood type and overall health of the donor — and Stephanie was given the green light to give away her kidney.

And so her decision to donate was suddenly more than a mission, it was a reality.

Days away from her date with the scalpel, she admits she is nervous, but not about losing the kidney.

“It’s not the kidney, it’s the surgery‚ I’m chicken about things like that,” said Stephanie.

“I’m nervous about it, because I’ve never had surgery before.”

There’s been a few emotional moments, she confesses — “a meltdown and some tears” — but she has no doubts about her gift to her dad.

“He’s my dad and these are my parents and I would do anything I can for them — they raised me,” said Stephanie.

“To me, it’s a no brainer.”

And she’s right — this is clearly a gift straight from her heart.

michael.platt@sunmedia.ca

http://www.calgarysun.com/news/columnists/michael_platt/2010/06/20/14452851.html

[Jean]

What an awesome adopted daughter and what a lovely and heart warming story. Thanks for sharing Karol.