Swampscott man takes unique approach in search for a donor

June 10, 2010
Asking for help
Swampscott man takes unique approach in search for a donor

By Cate Lecuyer staff writer

SWAMPSCOTT — Most people in the library are looking for books. Mark Wolper is looking for a kidney.

He'll usually approach the front desk at an area library, poster in hand, and announce he's in need of a new body part.

"It does relax people," he said of his joking manner. "I've been using humor all my life, so I figure why should I change now?"

But the reality for Wolper, 65, is nothing to laugh about. He has one kidney left — that's functioning at just 16 percent — and is searching for a live donor before he goes on dialysis in anywhere between 10 and 20 months, according to estimates from doctors. A transplant is much more likely to be successful when done before dialysis, he said. He's also on a wait list for a cadaver kidney, but it can take two to six years to find one, and he's not sure he has the "luxury of waiting that period of time."

Wolper lost his other kidney 12 years ago to cancer — soon after being diagnosed with Crohn's disease.

"Doctors told me I would live a normal life," he said. But about a year ago, his other kidney started failing, and he was told he needed a transplant. He believes the medication that keeps his Crohn's under control was a major factor in the deterioration of his kidney.

"I'm at the point where my family and friends have been exhausted, either because of health problems or their age," he said.

So his hope now is tied to the posters he's been putting up in libraries, banks and stores around town — including the billboard on his front lawn — and the kindness of strangers.

"At this point, that's just the kind of person he needs to reach," said Gary Kaplan, a friend who grew up with Wolper in Chelsea. Kaplan and his wife, Joan, encouraged Wolper to be proactive.

"Asking for money is one thing," Kaplan said. "But to ask someone for a body part? We had to push him to do it."

The picture on his poster is of him making sushi at a cooking class.

"What I admire most is you can't tell he's sick," Kaplan said. "He puts on a good front."

It's not painful, Wolper said, but the failing kidney affects his energy.

"It's the physical stuff," he said. "Like raking the lawn will take me two days, instead of 20 minutes."

Wolper has always been the type of person to go with the flow, traveling and enjoying life. When he was younger, he got into yard sales and eventually opened Marblehead Antiques, which he owned for 10 years. Sometime after that, he asked a friend to help him build a deck for someone and wound up running a restoration carpentry company for the next 10 years.

"Throughout my life, I've never said, 'I'm going to be a doctor when I grow up,'" he said. "I never had a path."

But now, he's decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Everything has sort of come to a halt," he said. "Now I need to make decisions that determine how my life is going to take shape."

His full-time job now is finding a kidney. He's been networking through social media sites and medical organizations, and has been plastering the posters around the community.

"I try to get up every day and go further and further out of my region," he said. "I realize you can't just sit and wait for it to happen."

So far, he's gotten one response from a local firefighter.

"When someone calls, you can't get all that excited," Wolper said. "There's a lot they have to go through."

It turns out the firefighter is not a match for his O positive blood type, but it's possible his kidney may match someone else's, and Wolper could do a trade through a kidney-sharing program.

"He'd be a bargaining chip," Kaplan said. "But people are more apt to give a kidney to someone they know than to go into a pool."

Regardless, Kaplan said he's impressed by anyone's willingness to consider such a donation.

"That to me is amazing," he said. "It reinstates my faith in humanity."

Doctors are incredibly picky about who can actually give up a kidney. Wolper jokes he's looking for "someone who can dance well."

An ideal candidate is between 20 and 60 years old. Gender and ethnicity don't matter, but health is a major factor, along with family history, a psychological evaluation and other criteria. Wolper's insurance pays for all the tests, he said.

"Why God gave us two kidneys, I don't know," he said. "It must be so we can be donors."

If anyone is interested in simply thinking about it, or has questions about the process, Wolper says to give him a call.

"I've already had one kidney out, so I know," he said.

He also won't have any hard feelings if someone changes their mind.

"Let me stress that at any point along this continuum you could choose to opt out," he said in a letter. "I would certainly accept and understand this. But if you went ahead and provided me with this life-giving kidney, I would, literally, be eternally grateful."

For more information or to consider donating, contact Mark Wolper at 781-883-5854 or mwolper@comcast.net.

Staff writer Cate Lecuyer can be reached at clecuyer@salemnews.com.

http://www.salemnews.com/lifestyle/x1910032619/Asking-for-help