Ten Things Not To Do In Las Vegas

Ten Things Not To Do In Las Vegas
by Juliana Shallcross
You often hear of travel guides telling you about things that you must do or see when you are in Las Vegas, but we're taking a different tack here. Our colleagues at sister site VegasChatter.com—riffing on our "Ten Things Not to Do in New York City" story—put together a list of ten things you shouldn't do in Sin City.

Yes, Las Vegas is the one last place in the free world where you can be drunk, provocative, loud, careless, lewd, and possibly adulterous—and yet your secrets are kept safe by the widely respected promise that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But mistakes that either cost you a lot of your money or a lot of your dignity are never fun.

Hopefully, these tips—garnered from personal experience—will help you on your next trip to Sin City. No need to thank us, we just want you to party with respect.

1. Don't Use the Casino ATMs
Most casino ATMs charge anywhere from $2 to $6 (plus whatever your bank tacks on) for the pleasure of spitting out more money for you to lose.
Instead: Do yourself a favor and either bring plenty of cash or hit the BofA and WaMu-Chase machines off the Strip.

2. Don't Dress Sluttily
Do not take your vacation in Vegas as an incentive to wear the sluttiest outfit you owned ten years ago or to buy a new hoochie outfit from Forever 21 that doesn't quite cover all your bits and pieces. You will feel and look uncomfortable and thus end up drinking more to stifle the insecurity. And God knows what that could lead to.
Instead: Dress sexily (there's a difference) in something special. Maybe even get your hair done, but don't wear anything that could get you mistaken for an escort. Also, if you plan on wearing something short, just remember that when you're dancing atop the go-go boxes, people will take pictures.

3. Don't Wear Painful Shoes
Do not wear your six-inch stilettos or brand-new Italian leather loafers for a night out on the town. Las Vegas casinos are bigger than they appear, and just walking from the Venetian to the Wynn can give you painful blisters.
Instead: Try to stick with three-inches or shoes that you've worn before. Also, we live in an age where flat sandals are cute again. The only exception might be if instead you wear those dangerous shoes directly from your room to the nightclub inside your hotel.

4. Don't Get Married at the Chapel of Love
The divorce rate in America is hovering at 50 percent, and if you treat your wedding day like an order of burger and fries at the drive-thru, then the odds of failure have to go through the roof.
Instead: While Las Vegas quickies are cheap (starting at $49), we say hit the craps table, make yourself 500 bucks, and elope in Vegas with dignity at one of the many new or classic wedding spots like Mandalay Bay or the famous Little White Wedding Chapel.

5. Don't Choose the Cheapest Buffet in Town
"Full Las Vegas buffet for $11 with over 50 items" sounds almost too good to be true, right? Well, it is. How is the food? Here is the opinion of one Web reviewer: "The 'scrambled eggs' seemed to be made of water and reconstituted egg yolk which had separated after sitting in the bin."
And that's not all. The buffet referenced above (which shall remain nameless) serves thousands of people a day, which means that not only can it get crowded, but it can also be teaming with kids. Kids are awesome and all, but a room full of hungry kids on vacation and a bit of a hangover don't always mix.
Instead: The Wynn's buffet is incredible. Or if you want classic-yet-cheap, try the Flamingo. Another option? Denny's is right across the street.

6. Don't Log On in Your Room
Do not pay in-room Internet charges. They are often expensive (starting at $12.95 a day), and the connection is never very good. Also, wireless is rare in rooms, meaning you have to use an Ethernet cable.
Instead: Try to hit up these free Wi-Fi spots. (article link below)

7. Don't Drink Before Your Massage
Sure, it sounds fun to spend the day by the pool drinking frozen daiquiris before heading off to an afternoon of relaxation at the spa. But massages are not good for drunk people. The rubdowns release toxins from your body, and—take it from us—you WILL throw up.
Instead: Book a massage for mid-morning (provided you aren't too hung over from the night before), which will loosen you up for the long day of drinking ahead.

8. Don't See Criss Angel's Believe
Trust us: If you buy tickets to the freaky magician's Cirque du Soleil show Believe, you will want your money back, and there's no way you can get it. Also, evil bunnies are scary.
Instead: If you want a Cirque du Soleil experience, you can't go wrong with LOVE, which is set to Beatles music. For a more classic Broadway show experience with a little bit of goth, try The Phantom of the Opera.

9. Don't Arrive at the Airport 30 Minutes Before Your Flight
Okay, maybe if you are a veteran you can pull this off. However, security lines in Vegas are legendarily long. Furthermore, once you check your bags and clear security, there is a good chance you are going to have to hop on the monorail to get to your gate.
Instead: While the Strip is only about five minutes from the airport, allow yourself one and a half hours to be sure you make your flight. Don't worry: There are plenty of Wheel of Fortune slots in the terminal if you happen to breeze through the security and monorail hurdles.

10. Don't Stay Up All Night, Then Catch Your Flight
Don't party all night with the excuse that your flight is at 8 am, so you might as well stay up through the night. There is nothing worse than a crowded McCarran Airport experience on a Sunday with a severe hangover. Not even the Oxygen bar in the Southwest terminal can revive you.
Instead: Book a night flight. That way you can continue the party on the plane.

For Concierge.com's expert recommendations on where to stay, eat, and play in Las Vegas, visit our Las Vegas travel guide.

Got your own list of things not to do in Las Vegas? Go to VegasChatter.com's original "Ten Things You Should NOT Do in Las Vegas" story and post a comment.

VegasChatter.com is your source for news, deals, gossip, and travel tips for Sin City.

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