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Author Topic: Let's Offend Everbody  (Read 3369 times)
Mimi
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For any who do not like me I use - prayer.
« on: April 19, 2010, 07:13:50 PM »
Let's Offend Everybody

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. 


Q.  Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A.  A different bar. 


Q.  What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A.  Sum Ting Wong . 


Q.  What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A.    A speech impediment.   


Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
A.  Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. 


Q.  What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A.  The southern zoo has a description of the animal ... along with a recipe. 


Q.  How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'S' word?
A.    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!' 


Q.  What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A.  A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...' 
      A southern fairytale begins, ... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'


Q.  Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A.      Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, or swim are already in  the United States


  OH! shut up ... just pass it on!
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Death is not extinguishing the light;
it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.
galvo
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« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2010, 10:29:03 PM »
Delightfully, non pc, Mimi!!
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Galvo
murf
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« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2010, 11:20:43 PM »
True story. The Minister for Immigration (Australia), Arthur Calwell, made this comment in Parliament in 1948: "Two wongs never make a white". Wonder what would happen today if that comment was repeated'?
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Started Hemodialysis Anzac Day 2005
Patiently waiting for a transplant
Started PD New Year 2010
Taken off transpalnt list, Jan 211
billybags
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« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2010, 04:30:50 AM »
You two are encouragable.
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paul.karen
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« Reply #4 on: April 20, 2010, 04:31:11 AM »
LOL

Good Stuff Mimi  :thumbup;
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Curiosity killed the cat
Satisfaction brought it back

Operation for PD placement 7-14-09
Training for cycler 7-28-09

Started home dialysis using Baxter homechoice
8-7-09
Darthvadar
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« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2010, 04:35:14 AM »
Hee Hee!!!!!!....

LOVE the Irish one!!!!!!....

Q. Why did the Irishman use two condoms???... A. To be sure, to be sure!.....
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
Jean
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« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2010, 09:32:29 AM »
Good thread Mimi. A little laughter in the morning never hurts
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One day at a time, thats all I can do.
thegrammalady
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« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2010, 02:52:30 PM »
Quote from: billybags on April 20, 2010, 04:30:50 AM
You two are encouragable.

yes they are, and i think we should all encourage them!
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If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

Meddle Not In The Affairs Of Dragons
For You Are Crunchy And Taste Good With Ketchup
Bajanne
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Goofynina and Epoman - Gone But Not Forgotten

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« Reply #8 on: June 06, 2010, 09:16:48 AM »
Since we are in the non-pc mode: -

Why do the Welsh love the Gospel?  Because they can sing it.
Why do the Irish love the Gospel?  Because they can fight for it.
Why do the Scottish love the Gospel?  Because it is free!
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"To be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own ...but that which is based on faith"



I LOVE  my IHD family! :grouphug;
cariad
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What's past is prologue
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2010, 05:31:04 PM »
Quote from: Bajanne on June 06, 2010, 09:16:48 AM
Since we are in the non-pc mode: -

Why do the Welsh love the Gospel?  Because they can sing it.
Why do the Irish love the Gospel?  Because they can fight for it.
Why do the Scottish love the Gospel?  Because it is free!

Very cute. Gwyn will appreciate this one because for once, the Welsh are not the punchline. :beer1;
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria

People have hope in me. - John Bul Dau, Sudanese Lost Boy
Darthvadar
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« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2010, 03:45:15 AM »
Q.... How do you know a Scotsman's house on Christmas Eve???...

A... There's a parking meter on the roof!...
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Cared for my late mum, Elsie who had Kidney Failure... Darling mum died on July 15th 2014... May her gentle soul rest in peace....
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