I cant take anymore

[KICKSTART]

As i am sat here typing tears are streaming down my face and i am trying to find reasons to go on . Let me explain ..i have moved into hell. A brief explanation , after my husband walked out and left me , i had to leave our lovely place , 17 acres in Scotland , because he didnt pay the mortgage and i couldn't. Because of my illness i was moved back near my family (who i hardly ever see) onto a council housing estate and its the place from hell with no way out. Every night now the better weather is here , the people a few doors away spend the night outside on the front drinking partying with music blaring till 3 am .I am so tired and just want to go to bed and get some sleep. I cant talk to these people , most are aged between 14-16 and i cannot repeat what threats they make. Yes i can complain , but am terrified because of comeback , the police wont do anything , its a trivial thing to them . I feel i am going mad , i cant cope and i am so depressed that this is my life now, i cant move ,the council wont do it and i cant rent private as they want people who work (over here if you claim benefits ,you must be a lazy scrounger) Life is hard enough dealing with kidney failure on my own, i have no one to turn to or lean on. I havent been out of the house for 3 weeks now, i have nowhere to go or no-one to see. I have never felt so low , so down ,so lonely or so miserable and each day is becoming more of a struggle, i just dont know what to do anymore.

[jbeany]

You're not alone - you can come here to vent any time you need to.  We listen and we care.

On a practical note, having survived the dorms and college apartments with paper thin walls, can I suggest foam ear plugs, a white noise machine, hanging quilts/blankets on the outside wall facing the noise source, and lastly, fighting fire with fire.  By which I mean indulging in a passion for really loud opera at some crack of dawn hour the night after the party.  (Check with your quieter neighbors, to see when they normally get up and head to work - that way you only disturb the kids!)

Hang in there!

[boxman55]

Kickstart sorry to hear you are dealing with that crap. Do what is best for you if you have to change your lifestyle or place of living so be it. Dealing with ESRD is tough enough be a pest with the police write to the papers do what you have to too stop the madness. Boxman55

[glitter]

I am sorry that you feel so trapped-I don't really have any advice that can changes anything- except keep your chin up the best you can....

how about volunteering one hour at a time at a library or hospital? Nursing homes are great too- some of the people in them are desperatly lonely- you could make them feel so good.

[RichardMEL]

KICKSTART - *hugs* - it sounds horrible and it is shocking these kids have no respect for their neighbours. I wonder though if you could talk to some of your other neighbours to see if it annoys them as well.. perhaps a group of you could get something done - surely the council has regulations against extreme noise?

Also if the kids are teenagers partying, they must have parents or older people there that SHOULD be responsible.. I wonder if you could find out who they might be and approach them.

If there are no real options in that direction then yes perhaps you might need to find a coping mechanism such as - ear plugs, noise cancelling headphones (expensive I know, but possibly worth it for your sanity), heavy drapes over windows facing the noise and possibly like sleeping tablets? Although I am not sure if that is advisable when you're doing hemo (sounds like you're doing home hemo?).

I really hope things improve. I hate it when people are so selfish and insensitive to party like that with no consideration for those that might be around them.

good luck!!

[Bajanne]

This is really difficult situation that you have been given.   But it is not impossible.  I think you have been given some great advice so far by the others.   You are in my caring thoughts and prayers.  Hang in there!

[okarol]

Dear Kickstart,
I wish I could help. We have had construction going on at the house next door for 7 months and the noise is endless. It's not just the nail guns and cement mixers and truck deliveries and dumpster drop offs and port-a-potty service, but the yelling and loud radios are awful. The workers arrive early and stand out in the street laughing and talking and I sometimes open the window and tell them to be quiet. My husband who is disabled and home most of the time goes crazy. Sometimes he has trouble sleeping at night and just as he's drifting off in the morning, the noise begins. His solution was to put Plexiglas over the window frames for noise, and to buy those headphone things that you wear at a firing range (any gun store has them) which work great.
I pray you can change your living situation soon. Please let us know how you are doing. 

[KICKSTART]

Thanks for the kind words guys , been a better day today its been raining all day ( i never thought i would hate the summer months) I have had a good read of your ideas , some may work , some wont. I think what gets to me most is that its a bunch of kids , making ME change my lifestyle to fit in with them . As for the parents ..well its just one house where all the kids gather and the mother there is just as bad ! I keep hoping someone will stand up to them one day ..who knows. I dont know if its worth it , but i might mention the situation at my next hospital appt , my bp is already sky high , it might be worth it because it is affecting my health , see what they suggest ?

[goofynina]

Hang in there KickStart, dont let them little tyrants get the best of you.    I have a friend who sleeps with headphones on and listens to nature on her disk, she says it works until she nearly strangles herself with the damn cord,   her own fault for sleeping like  a wild woman,   I do hope you find solace in this and please keep us posted on how your doing with this... Good luck my friend 

[Sluff]

I do hope you are having better days. Thinking of you. 

[KICKSTART]

Short update ... Thanks to you all for listening to my rant .. i guess some days something just tips us over the edge and for me it doesnt take much nowadays! . Thankfully i have had 2 days of peace and quiet , due to it raining here, but ..just to be on the safe side i have been out (woohoo) and bought some earplugs . I  just love it now when it rains !!!

[Rerun]

Good, you hang in there.  You might save up your money for a TAZOR Gun!  HA

[kidney4traci]

Been out this weekend so just now reading your post.  Just want to let youknow there are others out here to help you vent.  Have fun while you can play in the rain!  And it is also darkest before the dawn.  Pray that God helps get you to a safer haven.   And show no fear!

[MyssAnne]

Here's hoping you've had another good day without the tyrants! Is it today you have your appointment, or tomorrow? By alll means, let them know what's a major cause of your bp going up like that. They may be able to do something for you. (Like move you out!!??) Hang in there!  Don't forget to come back and vent, and share with us how you're doing!

[Stacy Without An E]

Hey Kickstart, I have an idea what you're going through.  When I knew I was going to start Dialysis I rented a one bedroom because I didn't want any roommates that would have to deal with my condition.  Within a week of moving in I knew it was mistake because my neighbors would blast this techno non-stop at all hours of the day.  I brought this up to the landlord and she said she came by and it didn't sound loud.  Why she wouldn't hear it from WITHIN my apartment was beyond me.

When you're dealing with Dialysis and you have enough trouble sleeping as it is, noise can be a true, ugly enemy.  I eventually had the option to move, so I'm sorry that's not an option.  I run a fan in the background all night to provide the white noise that seems to drown out or mute any outside sounds.

And most of all, do know that it will get better.  It's over a year later and I'm doing so much better.  You'll be amazed what you can survive when you allow Hope to be your friend.

Take care and good luck.

[carolyn77531]

 

[Wattle]

   Hang in there Kickstart... use the ear plugs. Its ok to be emotional and find your situation hard to deal with. You have alot going on in your life. The last thing you need is stress from your home surroundings. I hope things improve.   

[kitkatz]

HANG IN THERE!

[anja]

Hope things continue to improve~ or the rain becomes constant...      ha!  Things are bound to get better maybe they will move or you will.         Wishing you peace!