Facebook history: 'Friended' for life - Tweeting for a kidney? R U kidding?

Facebook history: 'Friended' for life

Tweeting for a kidney? R U kidding?

Chris Strouth did just that, and it
worked out pretty well for him.

By KRISTIN TILLOTSON, Star Tribune

Last update: March 8, 2010 - 4:58 PM

William the Conqueror defeated Chris' arch-
enemy Harold, but he never could have done
it without Scott.

Sounds like a weekly soap-opera update
from "As the Medieval World Turns," but it's
actually the tale of two guys, a traveling
kidney and saving lives through social media.

Chris Strouth needed a kidney transplant.
He'd been on dialysis for months after B
erger's disease (which he called "Harold")
wreaked havoc on his renal system. So he
tweeted about it, casting a wide electronic net
with a plea to anyone he was even remotely
connected to online. He got an impressive 19
offers, and one match -- casual acquaintance
and Facebook friend Scott Pakudaitis of St.
Paul, whose left kidney, "William the
Conqueror," was transplanted into Strouth in
December. Both are doing well, and the rest
is Facebook history.

"Part of my culture growing up was to be
involved and help people," Pakudaitis said. "A
friend of mine had gone through being a
donor for a relative of his, and he was just
fine afterward."

Before agreeing to become a donor, he
checked with his own family to make sure
none of them anticipated needing a kidney
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someday.

"Oh, sure, so I was your second choice,"
joked Strouth.

A study in contrasts

On a recent afternoon in Strouth's northeast
Minneapolis studio, the two men sat down --
in front of a coincidentally kidney-shaped
table -- to talk about their unusual
connection and respective experiences.
Aside from both being culture vultures, the
pair are a study in contrasts. Strouth, a
musician, filmmaker and teacher, is a
gregarious wisecracker and extremely
nonlinear thinker who seems to know
everyone. Pakudaitis, a research and data
analyst for St. Catherine University and
freelance photographer, is a self-described
introvert with an endearing, eccentric
passion: He adores squirrels.

As is common in Facebookworld, Strouth,
41, and Pakudaitis, 44, were only slightly
acquainted, but have overlaps in their friend
circles.

"We'd never had a beer or lunch together or
anything like that," Strouth said. "But I was at
a party at his house once."

The occasion marked the first time the two
men had seen each other since the hospital.

"Through the entire course of putting this
together we never spoke on the phone or in
real time," Strouth said. "The whole thing was
through Facebook and Twitter. I would send
long messages to which Scott would not
reply for a while and I would feel panicked
that he didn't like something I wrote. Then
he'd answer and I'd think, 'Good, I'm still
getting the kidney.'"

Social media have been used to advance
worthy causes since MySpace logged its first
few members, but actually finding a donor
organ via Twitter or Facebook is a newer
phenomenon. It may not technically be more
personal than a targeted mass mailing, or a
flier on a club bulletin board. But it feels
more personal, allowing us to communicate
with huge numbers of people in a very
efficient, yet also very emotional way.

Social media and organ donation

Pakudaitis remembers feeling calm pre-
surgery, even joking with his doctor about
making sure to take the right kidney. Strouth
said he was vomiting with nervousness -- a
natural reaction, but he was in experienced
hands.
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The University of Minnesota Medical Center
has been performing organ transplants since
1963, longer than any other place in the
world, and also holds the record for the
highest number of living-organ transplants,
including more than 4,000 kidneys. Cathy
Garvey, a transplant director and
coordinator, has seen firsthand how
Facebook is being used to connect with
possible donors.

"Typically, it's been people who need a
second transplant, who already know they're
not compatible with family or friends, who
push the search out farther," Garvey said.
"Church bulletins, workplace newsletters,
approaching TV stations to put it on the
news. Social media is the logical next step."

Some would-be donors have the best
intentions, but don't pass a required
psychosocial test, she said: "Some people
can't handle the stress. If they have financial
worries or a long history of mental illness, we
don't want anything to upset the apple cart.
We did take an extra look at Scott because he
and Chris have a looser relationship."

Pakudaitis knew they had to make sure he
was doing it for the right reasons, he said,
adding they looked closely at his attitude

toward volunteering. He's been a longtime Big
Brother, has given time to Habitat for
Humanity and even cares for injured baby
squirrels at a wildlife conservatory.

Pakudaitis did a one-week countdown on his
Facebook page before the operation. Because
he knew he wouldn't be very spry for a while,
he went out dancing the night before,
gathering a crew of friends to join him by
putting out a call on ... Facebook, natch. He
began tweeting about the recovery from his
hospital bed that afternoon.

Internet as cocktail party

Social media also helped support for both
donor and donee grow exponentially.

Chris: "I got a thousand Facebook messages
the week of the surgery. We had numerous
Catholic churches praying for us, a Buddhist t
emple, a bunch of Lutherans, a pagan sect
and at least two Satanists that I know of, so
we were pretty much covered."

Scott: "That was my experience, too. Every
faith was represented. I said, 'Pray for the
surgeons, that they've got steady hands and
are well rested.'"

Chris: "Oh, I wanted them to pray for me."
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Scott: "Well, you needed that; I didn't."

Chris: "The Internet is a copy machine, but
it's also a cocktail party. The magic of
Facebook is seeing all the different people
from my universe interact. A friend of mine
would make a comment, some German
technomusician would do a follow-up, then
someone I went to high school with, and then
some weirdo who I don't know how I know
them."

Since his transplant, Strouth has given the
Roseville-based regional division of the
National Kidney Foundation a Facebook-page
tutorial.

"This is a way to throw a need out there to a
world of people you wouldn't normally talk
to and see what comes back," said Jill
Evenocheck, regional division president.
"There are 83,000 people nationally waiting
for a kidney today, and social media is one of
the ways we can help that number can go
down."

Pakudaitis is now Facebook friends with
Strouth's surgeon, Dr. Ty Dunn. (Strouth
isn't, because Dunn has a rule about not
"friending" patients.) Would he recommend
his donor experience to others?

Scott: "I see the impact it's made on Chris' life
and I feel great for helping make that change.
And my own recovery went great, less painful
than I expected."

Chris: "Yeah, but would you give it five stars
on Yelp?"

Scott: "Five stars."

Chris: "I never told you this, but you were the
first person to send me a friend request back
when Facebook was really new and I was just
using it to communicate with my students. I
thought, how am I going to handle this,
should I accept everyone, or just family and
close friends? Then I thought, anyone who
wants to be my friend who I know is not
some kook I'm going to let in. People
recommend limiting who I add and I say,
really? Because you never know what you're
going to miss."

Strouth handed Pakudaitis a belated
Christmas gift -- a nutcracker in the form of
a squirrel.

"You've already given me mine," he said.

Kristin Tillotson • 612-673-7046

Watch Chris Strouth talk about his kidney
disease and transplant here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-KSC-cRmrQ

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