Hi

[hotnspicyazgirl]

Hi,
Im new here, not new to dialysis or transplant. I am 40 y.o, at 19 my kidneys failed due to chronic reflux glomneph. I started on dialysis and received a transplant a few short months later. Life was great, then 9 years later kidney rejected due to cyclosporine toxicity. Was put back on dialysis, wasn't getting good flow...surgeon put in femoral catheter and it caused a DVT that landed me in the ICU for months. I had to learn to walk again, and am on coumadin forever. Anyway, after delaying a transplant from mom for 6 months, I finally had my second transplant. This kidney lasted until 1 month ago...12 years of a wonderful life. Last year,2009 was rough. I spent literally 2 weeks out of every month in the hospital. I am now back on dialysis...I hate every single thing about it. I want to sign off so bad, but I don't want to leave my mom on this earth alone. Me signing off of dialysis would destroy her soul. We are incredibly close. I really have NOTHING good to say, as I am so incredibly angry at my circumstances....so I will end it here, and follow my moms good advice of not saying anything at all.
Please pray for me....I know I have been blessed, but I can't do this anymore. Im too tired, too sad, too angry, and too fed up..

[Hanify]

Hi Hotnspicyazgirl.  What can I say?  Welcome and I'm so pleased you found us.  Many people really feel it helps to let it all out here with people who understand - I hope it helps you too.
Look forward to getting to know you.

[monrein]

   to IHD and I hope that you can feel comfortable enough here to vent about your situation and know that others in a similar boat have felt and still sometimes feel the way you do.   

[galvo]

G'day. I think you've come to the right spot. If anyone can empathise with you, it's the people here. Have a good wander through the posts and you'll start to feel right at home. Keep posting.

[Harvey Wells]

Welcome, I think we've all been there and I hope you can find some help here going forward.  Are you eligible for another transplant?  I think sometimes it was more difficult for me to deal with the failed transplant than the initial kidney failure.  Dealing with a second transplant, especially from your mom would be tough.  Try and focus on the things that make you smile.

[kellyt]

    Sooooo glad you found us!  So glad.      I look forward to hearing more from you and about you.  Hang in there.

[RichardMEL]

phew! What a intro post.

Welcome!

I don't think you're ready to sign off at all. I see your nickname, hotandspicyazgirl, and I know you're character already!!! Clearly you've got spirit and we want to keep you here. Yes, you've had a bad trot, but you've also had what, 10 years or so with functioning transplants? That's something to be thankful for. Yes, I realise after two you don't want to deal with D again, have high antibodies no doubt, and all the rest, but I think there IS hope - for medical advances, changes in meds etc, that you should be hopeful for things to improve for you - perhaps in ways you can't possibly imagine.

Besides, I love the idea of hot and spicy in Arizona, so you can't go anywhere!!!!

lots of *hugs* to you

xoxoxox

[tyefly]

  Gee  Richard...... again    another great post.......you said it alll..


       Welcome

[sico]

Gday hotnspiceyazgirl, glad you found us!
I'm a total newbie compared to you, no transplant yet and only been on dialysis 15 months.
But must say i'm angry with my situation too

Sure i aint alone in wanting to hear more from you. Post whatever you like.

[Rerun]

Hi,
Im new here, not new to dialysis or transplant. I am 40 y.o, at 19 my kidneys failed due to chronic reflux glomneph. I started on dialysis and received a transplant a few short months later. Life was great, then 9 years later kidney rejected due to cyclosporine toxicity. Was put back on dialysis, wasn't getting good flow...surgeon put in femoral catheter and it caused a DVT that landed me in the ICU for months. I had to learn to walk again, and am on coumadin forever. Anyway, after delaying a transplant from mom for 6 months, I finally had my second transplant. This kidney lasted until 1 month ago...12 years of a wonderful life. Last year,2009 was rough. I spent literally 2 weeks out of every month in the hospital. I am now back on dialysis...I hate every single thing about it. I want to sign off so bad, but I don't want to leave my mom on this earth alone. Me signing off of dialysis would destroy her soul. We are incredibly close. I really have NOTHING good to say, as I am so incredibly angry at my circumstances....so I will end it here, and follow my moms good advice of not saying anything at all.
Please pray for me....I know I have been blessed, but I can't do this anymore. Im too tired, too sad, too angry, and too fed up..

I HAVE A FRIEND!     

Rerun - Moderator

[Chris]

Hi hotnspicyazgirl
I understand your feeling about dialysis. I felt that way when I started it, but I haven't experienced rejection yet. Although they are monitoring my pancreas. There are many here who can support you, so Welcome here.

[Sluff]

With a screen name like this I just had to respond     

hotnspicyazgirl welcome to IHD.

Your feelings are perfectly normal, I have seen this many times here at IHD. I'm glad you found us and are able to at least vent your feelings. Sometimes that is all that is needed. We are here for you 24/7/ 365 days a year. It helps to talk with others who feel the same and are going through the same things you are. Please use this forum to its full extent, you are the reason we are here.

See ya in the forums.

Sluff/Admin

[Chris]

I was thinking food, what where you thinking Sluff? 

[hotnspicyazgirl]

Thank you all so very much for the warm welcome! I can't wait to get to know you all! As for hot and spicy, Im Italian (yes, even with the blonde hair, I AM Italian) so I have a hot temper, and everything else is just spice! Im sweet too. LOL

Hugs!

[YLGuy]

  We are all very glad you found us.  I see you changed your avatar to your picture.  You are a very beautiful woman who has now got richardmel's attention I am sure.

[hotnspicyazgirl]

We are all very glad you found us.  I see you changed your avatar to your picture.  You are a very beautiful woman who has now got richardmel's attention I am sure.

Thank you so much YL guy...you are too kind.

[jg]

Hello:

I was originally diagnosed with kidney disease in my early 30's. But I have never been well and believe I was born with kidney disease.
I know that kidney disease ruined my life and prevented me having a normal life. But I have known too many people who have died
(including family members)  to give up. Right now my pd is going poorly and the doctor wants me to endure a switch to hemo.
Whenever life is too much I crawl into bed and hope for a better future.
Feel free to respond.

jg

[srg22]

wow 19 years old .. i thought i had it bad at 22... keep as much hope that things will get better that s what i do sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt... my main issue is that i feel like i wont be able to have kids... ={

[MooseMom]

Like you, I'm furious.  The other night, it took every ounce of self-control I had to keep from throwing the crockery through the window.  I'm not even on dialysis yet and already I'm fed up.  I've been dealing with this crap for years.  I'm so sick of thinking about potassium and phosphorus that I could just 

It's great to be able to vent your anger in a safe place; cyberspace is much safer than my house these days, what with the flying cups and saucers.

[RichardMEL]

We are all very glad you found us.  I see you changed your avatar to your picture.  You are a very beautiful woman who has now got richardmel's attention I am sure.

LOL that's hilarious. My reputation precedes me!!!!